I would like to take this opportunity to thank everyone who has followed this blog and who have contributed with their comments.
Unfortunately, it is time for me to draw it to a close for personal reasons.
Thank you one and all.
I wish yopu all the best for the future.
Sunday, 5 February 2012
Wednesday, 1 February 2012
Cold
It has been really cold for the last three days. I even ended up working out in a snow shower on Tuesday morning.
We are both slowly getting better, I think. We are going away for a night in a hotel on Saturday so that will be nice, it is MT's birthday treat for me. The hotel visits often end up being a little painful for me.MT usually gives me a special treat before we check out.........and it is always painful.
The change of scene will be nice, as will some time on our own together.
We are both slowly getting better, I think. We are going away for a night in a hotel on Saturday so that will be nice, it is MT's birthday treat for me. The hotel visits often end up being a little painful for me.MT usually gives me a special treat before we check out.........and it is always painful.
The change of scene will be nice, as will some time on our own together.
Saturday, 28 January 2012
Love me tender
My nipples are still sore from yesterday, I think they are internally bruised.I still feel stuffed from yesterdays meal MT cooked me....and of course 'stuffed' in the other sense.
Today was more low key, but, I was permitted to make love to MT and in the missionary position for a change....I am sure she only did to ensure my nipples rubbed up against her.
Today was more low key, but, I was permitted to make love to MT and in the missionary position for a change....I am sure she only did to ensure my nipples rubbed up against her.
Friday, 27 January 2012
Birthday boy
Well I am 56 years old today, amazing how time flies.Strangely, I still feel like a teenager inside, must be being with MT. She presented me with a card this moring whch reads on the front "Na-Na Nanaa-Na You're Older Than ME-EE!"
MT brought me some lovely presents, including a dastardly pair of evil nipple clamps.
MT took great delight in fitting my presents and demonstrated how they can be tightened, they are so bloody painful and I pleaded for mercy. Of course I didn't get any, but I never expected to. With the clamps firmly in place the rest of the birthday celebrations followed.
First I was fitted with the large njoy. Then I was then unceremoniously put across MT's knee for the customary birthday spanking with the hated heavy wooden paddle, one blow for each year plus 'one to grow on'.
It has been a while since I have been spanked and my buttocks were particularly tender. The nipple clamps kept rubbing against the bed with each blow and my cheeks clamped together with each blow which made the plug hurt much much more. MT also kept tugging at the strings of the nipple clamps as she went, I believe she had them in her teeth at one point. As is MT's birthday custom I had to count the blows and thank her for each one. She wallops the hell out of me with that thing and I pleaded and kicked and shrieked. I am told it was highly entertaining.
When she removed the plug I (stupidly) felt relief -ha! You'd think I would have learned better by now wouldn't you? The next thing I know a fucking big hard red dildo was being rammed up my poor arse and I was babbling and pleading. Unfortunately my arse clamped shut. I wasn't doing it on purpose, it was an involuntary reaction. MT finds this both amusing and sees it as disobeience, so for a while she crooned at me about this. It may sound sweet but it's more like a cat playing with a mouse. She said "oh baby, do you really think if I decide this is going in your arse you can stop me. Keep whimpernig though, it's sweet - even if it is futile" and on the word 'futile' she slammed the thing mercilessly up my arse. I screamed as I bucked forward yanking the nipple clamps as I went.
She then mercilessly rammed me for what felt like forever, yanking on the strings of the nipple clamps as she went. Groan.
She evenually finished, replaced the njoy and I was forced onto my back. MT then proceeded to whip my clamped nipples, my cock, balls, thighs, chest, and stomach with what she termed 'a sharp flogger'. I have never seen this item before. To say it was painful would be far too much of an understatement. She was landing the blows very fast, using her skill to weave between her various targets, so I was jumping around all over the place, pleading and shrieking and begging. She also used the clamps on my cock and balls at one point. It was excruciatingly painful. When she took the clamps off it was unbearable.
I thought 'my celebrations' were finished and started to breathe a little easier.....until MT ordered me to go and fetch the strap-on. I was then forcefully fucked on my side while MT had several very energetic orgasms. She finished off my flipping me on my stomach and riding me until she finished, before bounding up to dash off to where she wanted to be.
I was then left recovering in the bedroom and told to have her tea ready when she got back - happy birthday to me!
Tonight she is cooking me a special meal, which is really lovely of her, then we will watch a movie together. I am very bruised and sore in too many places to count.
I said to her as she was getting up that she never looks happier than when she's being sadistic. She glows and laughs and claps and has this look of pure glee. At least I know I provide good service by being hervictim property ;)
MT brought me some lovely presents, including a dastardly pair of evil nipple clamps.
MT took great delight in fitting my presents and demonstrated how they can be tightened, they are so bloody painful and I pleaded for mercy. Of course I didn't get any, but I never expected to. With the clamps firmly in place the rest of the birthday celebrations followed.
First I was fitted with the large njoy. Then I was then unceremoniously put across MT's knee for the customary birthday spanking with the hated heavy wooden paddle, one blow for each year plus 'one to grow on'.
It has been a while since I have been spanked and my buttocks were particularly tender. The nipple clamps kept rubbing against the bed with each blow and my cheeks clamped together with each blow which made the plug hurt much much more. MT also kept tugging at the strings of the nipple clamps as she went, I believe she had them in her teeth at one point. As is MT's birthday custom I had to count the blows and thank her for each one. She wallops the hell out of me with that thing and I pleaded and kicked and shrieked. I am told it was highly entertaining.
When she removed the plug I (stupidly) felt relief -ha! You'd think I would have learned better by now wouldn't you? The next thing I know a fucking big hard red dildo was being rammed up my poor arse and I was babbling and pleading. Unfortunately my arse clamped shut. I wasn't doing it on purpose, it was an involuntary reaction. MT finds this both amusing and sees it as disobeience, so for a while she crooned at me about this. It may sound sweet but it's more like a cat playing with a mouse. She said "oh baby, do you really think if I decide this is going in your arse you can stop me. Keep whimpernig though, it's sweet - even if it is futile" and on the word 'futile' she slammed the thing mercilessly up my arse. I screamed as I bucked forward yanking the nipple clamps as I went.
She then mercilessly rammed me for what felt like forever, yanking on the strings of the nipple clamps as she went. Groan.
She evenually finished, replaced the njoy and I was forced onto my back. MT then proceeded to whip my clamped nipples, my cock, balls, thighs, chest, and stomach with what she termed 'a sharp flogger'. I have never seen this item before. To say it was painful would be far too much of an understatement. She was landing the blows very fast, using her skill to weave between her various targets, so I was jumping around all over the place, pleading and shrieking and begging. She also used the clamps on my cock and balls at one point. It was excruciatingly painful. When she took the clamps off it was unbearable.
I thought 'my celebrations' were finished and started to breathe a little easier.....until MT ordered me to go and fetch the strap-on. I was then forcefully fucked on my side while MT had several very energetic orgasms. She finished off my flipping me on my stomach and riding me until she finished, before bounding up to dash off to where she wanted to be.
I was then left recovering in the bedroom and told to have her tea ready when she got back - happy birthday to me!
Tonight she is cooking me a special meal, which is really lovely of her, then we will watch a movie together. I am very bruised and sore in too many places to count.
I said to her as she was getting up that she never looks happier than when she's being sadistic. She glows and laughs and claps and has this look of pure glee. At least I know I provide good service by being her
Tuesday, 24 January 2012
O/p and Kink
We are both getting a bit better but it is happening far slower than both of us would like, but it is good that we are hopefully en-route to being better. It is a good job our relationship is based on so much more than just kink.
As many know, an O/p relationship is not based on kink (pity in some ways) but like most things, life comes along and puts things in the way sometimes. So when for example we are unwell, there is not much active kink going on, but the power exchange is ever present. I find this comforting as it means there is a firm and solid foundation to our relationship.
I think that in many new relationships there is what is referred to as 'the honeymoon period'. For some people this may never actually end, but for the vast majority there is often some 'cooling' of desire and I think this is perfectly normal. How much it cools and how quickly will obviously vary with individuals. I personally feel that if a couples primary attraction was kink that in time this may unearth some issues for either one or both parties.
Life also throws us other people to consider, such as others living in the household, especially children. There is for many of us, the 'right time and right place' to practise our more active elements of our relationships.I would never want anyone to hear my shrieks and cries for mercy, for my benefit as well as for theirs.
Illness and age are two other factors, I like to think I am still very sexually active but in all honesty I am not as active as I was when I was younger and I dare say in another 20 years my 'activity' might be non existent, if I am still alive that is.
So for me, the fact our O/p is not based on kink (although we both adore it) is a very positive thing because there is so much else to enjoy (endure) in an O/p relationship. It also means if 'kink' is out for one reason or another we still have a relationship.
As many know, an O/p relationship is not based on kink (pity in some ways) but like most things, life comes along and puts things in the way sometimes. So when for example we are unwell, there is not much active kink going on, but the power exchange is ever present. I find this comforting as it means there is a firm and solid foundation to our relationship.
I think that in many new relationships there is what is referred to as 'the honeymoon period'. For some people this may never actually end, but for the vast majority there is often some 'cooling' of desire and I think this is perfectly normal. How much it cools and how quickly will obviously vary with individuals. I personally feel that if a couples primary attraction was kink that in time this may unearth some issues for either one or both parties.
Life also throws us other people to consider, such as others living in the household, especially children. There is for many of us, the 'right time and right place' to practise our more active elements of our relationships.I would never want anyone to hear my shrieks and cries for mercy, for my benefit as well as for theirs.
Illness and age are two other factors, I like to think I am still very sexually active but in all honesty I am not as active as I was when I was younger and I dare say in another 20 years my 'activity' might be non existent, if I am still alive that is.
So for me, the fact our O/p is not based on kink (although we both adore it) is a very positive thing because there is so much else to enjoy (endure) in an O/p relationship. It also means if 'kink' is out for one reason or another we still have a relationship.
Tuesday, 17 January 2012
Back
Well it has been a while since I last blogged. To be honest, I have just not really been up to it. The medications I have been on have had some adverse effects, one has caused depression and the other stomach problems.
The one that has caused depression is the one that should be making me more relaxed ! They have said stay on it for another month and if the depression persists we will change the drug.
The other one was for my knee, as it can cause ulcers and I have a history of stomach ulcers, they have taken me off it and just told me to take pain killers. Unfortunately, my knee is getting worse now that I am not on the anti inflammatory....just can't win atm.
MT has been unwell as well, she is a little better, but far from being well. Work has been wet and cold recently and a little quiet, I have been glad of the less frantic workload but it does not do much for the bank balance.
We have been quite inactive all round really, just one of those periods when some things fall into the background. MT has been taking it easy on me physically. I have still been fortunate enough to have been allowed to pleasure her though, so that has been good.
Hopefully we will both feel better soon, 2012 has not started too well.....am hoping for a better rest of the year. Of course things could be a lot worse so there is reason to be thankful. One of my lovely customers passed away 10 days ago, I will really miss her she was such a pleasure to know. Several more are in serious decline, it is so sad to see them moving towards the end of this life.
The one that has caused depression is the one that should be making me more relaxed ! They have said stay on it for another month and if the depression persists we will change the drug.
The other one was for my knee, as it can cause ulcers and I have a history of stomach ulcers, they have taken me off it and just told me to take pain killers. Unfortunately, my knee is getting worse now that I am not on the anti inflammatory....just can't win atm.
MT has been unwell as well, she is a little better, but far from being well. Work has been wet and cold recently and a little quiet, I have been glad of the less frantic workload but it does not do much for the bank balance.
We have been quite inactive all round really, just one of those periods when some things fall into the background. MT has been taking it easy on me physically. I have still been fortunate enough to have been allowed to pleasure her though, so that has been good.
Hopefully we will both feel better soon, 2012 has not started too well.....am hoping for a better rest of the year. Of course things could be a lot worse so there is reason to be thankful. One of my lovely customers passed away 10 days ago, I will really miss her she was such a pleasure to know. Several more are in serious decline, it is so sad to see them moving towards the end of this life.
Monday, 9 January 2012
Bumps
Neither of us have been very well recently. MT's is flaring with her RA and mine has been severe stomach pains. It would appear my problem was caused by one of the drugs the doctor prescribed, so I have now been taken off of it.
I am feeling better now but I am still feeling generally unwell, but I was allowed a short ride out on the bike today which was fantastic. It really cheers me up when I get a ride.
I did, however, wince a bit when I went over the bumps due to the bruising on my cheeks where MT bit me the other day. She is such a 'trooper' she still musters enough energy to cause me some pain.
I am feeling better now but I am still feeling generally unwell, but I was allowed a short ride out on the bike today which was fantastic. It really cheers me up when I get a ride.
I did, however, wince a bit when I went over the bumps due to the bruising on my cheeks where MT bit me the other day. She is such a 'trooper' she still musters enough energy to cause me some pain.
Saturday, 31 December 2011
Out with the old...
Wishing you all a very happy, healthy and prosperous New Year.
As always, apparently I have some new year resolutions, but I will not find out what they are until tomorrow when MT tells me. I wonder if I will get a new book? It's a very exciting prospect. I love my new books.... apparently.
As always, apparently I have some new year resolutions, but I will not find out what they are until tomorrow when MT tells me. I wonder if I will get a new book? It's a very exciting prospect. I love my new books.... apparently.
Thursday, 29 December 2011
Post Xmas
Have not been too well, hence the lack of posting. Starting to feel better, have had to stop one of my meds as I think it was responsible for the massive stomach problems I have been experiencing.
MT is feeling a bit better, she even caused me a lot of physical pain yesterday.......that was nice...NOT.
I was allowed a quick bike ride yesterday which was excellent, but it had to be a short ride as I am still under par. No more work until Tuesday , so I am looking forward to the break and a good rest. I hope to do nothing more than the usual things, serving MT and giving her sexual pleasure of course.
We have MT's best friend staying with us for a few days so that is nice.
I am looking forward (sort of) to getting back to full physical use and some humiliation, I feel I need to get back to where I belong as quickly as possible.
MT is feeling a bit better, she even caused me a lot of physical pain yesterday.......that was nice...NOT.
I was allowed a quick bike ride yesterday which was excellent, but it had to be a short ride as I am still under par. No more work until Tuesday , so I am looking forward to the break and a good rest. I hope to do nothing more than the usual things, serving MT and giving her sexual pleasure of course.
We have MT's best friend staying with us for a few days so that is nice.
I am looking forward (sort of) to getting back to full physical use and some humiliation, I feel I need to get back to where I belong as quickly as possible.
Sunday, 25 December 2011
Merry Xmas
Merry Christmas everyone.
Hope you are all having a wonderful time. MT brought me some excellent motorbike gloves I have wanted for ages, and lots of other wonderful gifts. Included in the wonderful gifts was a leather wallet with the words 'Tight Arse' embossed upon it ............I think it is meant to be 'ironic'. MT also bought me several books, some CDs, stationary, lots of chocolate, specific toiletries I like and various other goodies.
We also had a lovely dinner and are planning to spend the rest of the day relaxing :)
MT seemed very pleased with the presents I got her, so along with my help in the kitchen and with various other things I think she considers that I've been a good slave today :)
Hope you are all having a wonderful time. MT brought me some excellent motorbike gloves I have wanted for ages, and lots of other wonderful gifts. Included in the wonderful gifts was a leather wallet with the words 'Tight Arse' embossed upon it ............I think it is meant to be 'ironic'. MT also bought me several books, some CDs, stationary, lots of chocolate, specific toiletries I like and various other goodies.
We also had a lovely dinner and are planning to spend the rest of the day relaxing :)
MT seemed very pleased with the presents I got her, so along with my help in the kitchen and with various other things I think she considers that I've been a good slave today :)
Saturday, 24 December 2011
Christmas Eve
The last couple of days have been a bit hectic. Work, Xmas preparations, MT not being well, me being unwell has made for an 'interesting' time.
My mood has been a bit down again, I think it's the increase indose, double the dose was bound to have some side effects. Hopefully it will improve as I get more accustomed to them, the first couple of weeks when I started them was difficult to say the least.
At least I was allowed to pleasure MT this morning which was really nice. I have yet to wrap MT's presents, so that has to be done today, I hope she likes what I have got her.
The Xmas decorations at home are looking really nice, MT knows how to make the house look shiny. We celebrated Yule and MT cooked a really nice meal and there was cake and I was given a huge bar of chocolate and allowed to eat it.
I wish evryone a very happy Xmas and New Year, may all your dreams come true.
Best wishes N
My mood has been a bit down again, I think it's the increase indose, double the dose was bound to have some side effects. Hopefully it will improve as I get more accustomed to them, the first couple of weeks when I started them was difficult to say the least.
At least I was allowed to pleasure MT this morning which was really nice. I have yet to wrap MT's presents, so that has to be done today, I hope she likes what I have got her.
The Xmas decorations at home are looking really nice, MT knows how to make the house look shiny. We celebrated Yule and MT cooked a really nice meal and there was cake and I was given a huge bar of chocolate and allowed to eat it.
I wish evryone a very happy Xmas and New Year, may all your dreams come true.
Best wishes N
Tuesday, 20 December 2011
The First Cut May Not be The deepest
Yesterdays embarrassing photo has received mega views on FL. I have to give MT her due, she does know how to humiliate people. Nicknames such as peacock boy and pixie peacock have been floated around.
It is always interesting to note that it is mainly the female slaves that enjoy my humiliation the most. I think there is a heavy portion of sadistic tendencies in some of them.You know who you are.
MT is not very well and has had to get steroids, despite her feeling really crap she did manage to re-carve my anniversary mark and drink a little blood. It seemed to perk her up a bit. I meanwhile, found it excruciatingly painful..........it had just sort of started to heal.
After the cutting and the drinking she then cleaned my cuts with something that stung like acid, I still do not know what she used but it hurt like hell.So much so that I actually screamed.
It is always interesting to note that it is mainly the female slaves that enjoy my humiliation the most. I think there is a heavy portion of sadistic tendencies in some of them.You know who you are.
MT is not very well and has had to get steroids, despite her feeling really crap she did manage to re-carve my anniversary mark and drink a little blood. It seemed to perk her up a bit. I meanwhile, found it excruciatingly painful..........it had just sort of started to heal.
After the cutting and the drinking she then cleaned my cuts with something that stung like acid, I still do not know what she used but it hurt like hell.So much so that I actually screamed.
Monday, 19 December 2011
Peacock boy
Many of you will be aware from FL, that yesterday was, shall we say..........more than a little embarrassing. In between other thing MT quickly ordered me into the bedroom, told me to strip and get on my knees.
The Njoy was then inserted and then I could feel her fiddling with the handle. After a couple of minutes I heard the sound of the camera and was ordered to raise/ lower my arse for the photos.
Not long afterwards, MT told me to look at her latest photo on FL..........and of course it was my arse. Attached to the handle of the Njoy was a camp sparkly peacock feather Xmas decoration (which I had mocked) from the Xmas tree.
Within a short while, my FL fed was smothered with comments regarding the sparkly peacock feather design dangling from between my cheeks.
I shall never mock MT again about her choice of Xmas decorations. They are all very stylish and she does a wonderful job of decorating her home.
The Njoy was then inserted and then I could feel her fiddling with the handle. After a couple of minutes I heard the sound of the camera and was ordered to raise/ lower my arse for the photos.
Not long afterwards, MT told me to look at her latest photo on FL..........and of course it was my arse. Attached to the handle of the Njoy was a camp sparkly peacock feather Xmas decoration (which I had mocked) from the Xmas tree.
 |
| He left the photo off so I thoughtfully popped it up. No need to thank me - MT |
Within a short while, my FL fed was smothered with comments regarding the sparkly peacock feather design dangling from between my cheeks.
I shall never mock MT again about her choice of Xmas decorations. They are all very stylish and she does a wonderful job of decorating her home.
Thursday, 15 December 2011
Anniversary
The day finally arrived after much anticipation and trepidation. As usual, it was lovely to wake up next to MT but of course it was extra special today being as it was our 5th anniversary of her owning me.
Early this morning I was told to sit up in bed, I was anticipating some painful act, but instead was given a bow wrapped gift from MT. Inside the very nice box was a really lovely stainless steel bracelet. MT said that I am to wear it in place of my collar, when I am unable to wear my collar. It was a really nice surprise and I really like it a lot, it is something I would have chosen myself. And it's nice to have something to wear as a substitue collar as I would like to wear mine more often.
I then gave MT the bespoke anniversary card I had designed via Moonpig, it was of course of 'appropriate design' for the occasion ;) As is customary on our anniversary, I then presented her with my gift to her. The 'customary' part being, that I give her something she can inflict pain on me with.
This year, I chose something which she had previously expressed an interest in, a short synthetic cane. So I presented her with a short (60cm) 6 mm thick synthetic cane with a lambskin handle. I deliberately chose the thinner diameter as we have quite a few thicker canes and the thinner ones provide a greater sting, require less effort to wield and break my skin easier. Just the things she likes. I also gave her a voucher for money toward her planned driving lessons. This is kind of 'silly' as she could use the money anyway, but she keeps different budgets so it's effectively put some extra funds into that account (and under the present status of the funds I'm allowed to do that). Her driving plans are her main agenda at present that I know of. Though I'm quite sure that as usual she's up to a lot more of which I have no idea.....
After my doctor's appointment ( very useful, more medication including proper painkillers) it was time to start our day together at home. I was permitted the luxury of an iced Belgian bun filled with fresh cream, OMG it was the best one I have ever tasted. MT told me afterwards that it was 'before-care'. I cooked MT her poached eggs and made her Earl Grey tea as usual. Then it was off to the bedroom.
After a thorough inspection of her property and associated verbal report, which was favourable, but not without some directions for the future, it was time to be test her new toy.
After some very thorough 'testing' that went on for an extremely long time and covered a great deal of my body, and after much pillow biting, screaming and shouting, not to mention pleading, the synthetic cane was finally put to one side. The next item on Her agenda was 'marking' of the 5 years on my right hip.
The pain was almost unbelievable (she can do it less painfully but frequently elects not to), the overwriting was incredibly painful and at one point I would have given anything to have had it stopped.....but of course that is not an option. The mark is to become permanent, so this is sort of the initial cut. It will be re-opened as many times as required to form a permanent scar. MT of course enjoyed sucking at my blood, vigorously. After she had finished she cuddled me and we both fell asleep.
Being property is by far the hardest thing I have ever done, but it also happens to be the best thing I have ever done. At times I find it so difficult, but the rewards are sublime and I would not swap it for anything.
I love MT and I really love our relationship. It has it's ups and downs, but then life is like that, and there are always far more ups than downs. I am very fortunate to have found my place in life. I am Hers.
Early this morning I was told to sit up in bed, I was anticipating some painful act, but instead was given a bow wrapped gift from MT. Inside the very nice box was a really lovely stainless steel bracelet. MT said that I am to wear it in place of my collar, when I am unable to wear my collar. It was a really nice surprise and I really like it a lot, it is something I would have chosen myself. And it's nice to have something to wear as a substitue collar as I would like to wear mine more often.
I then gave MT the bespoke anniversary card I had designed via Moonpig, it was of course of 'appropriate design' for the occasion ;) As is customary on our anniversary, I then presented her with my gift to her. The 'customary' part being, that I give her something she can inflict pain on me with.
This year, I chose something which she had previously expressed an interest in, a short synthetic cane. So I presented her with a short (60cm) 6 mm thick synthetic cane with a lambskin handle. I deliberately chose the thinner diameter as we have quite a few thicker canes and the thinner ones provide a greater sting, require less effort to wield and break my skin easier. Just the things she likes. I also gave her a voucher for money toward her planned driving lessons. This is kind of 'silly' as she could use the money anyway, but she keeps different budgets so it's effectively put some extra funds into that account (and under the present status of the funds I'm allowed to do that). Her driving plans are her main agenda at present that I know of. Though I'm quite sure that as usual she's up to a lot more of which I have no idea.....
After my doctor's appointment ( very useful, more medication including proper painkillers) it was time to start our day together at home. I was permitted the luxury of an iced Belgian bun filled with fresh cream, OMG it was the best one I have ever tasted. MT told me afterwards that it was 'before-care'. I cooked MT her poached eggs and made her Earl Grey tea as usual. Then it was off to the bedroom.
After a thorough inspection of her property and associated verbal report, which was favourable, but not without some directions for the future, it was time to be test her new toy.
After some very thorough 'testing' that went on for an extremely long time and covered a great deal of my body, and after much pillow biting, screaming and shouting, not to mention pleading, the synthetic cane was finally put to one side. The next item on Her agenda was 'marking' of the 5 years on my right hip.
The pain was almost unbelievable (she can do it less painfully but frequently elects not to), the overwriting was incredibly painful and at one point I would have given anything to have had it stopped.....but of course that is not an option. The mark is to become permanent, so this is sort of the initial cut. It will be re-opened as many times as required to form a permanent scar. MT of course enjoyed sucking at my blood, vigorously. After she had finished she cuddled me and we both fell asleep.
It has been a wonderful day and it is not even 6-00 pm yet,so there is plenty of time left to enjoy the rest of the evening. I'm also very aware that MT has not finished with tormenting my body for the day, and she's usually much more intense at night time....
Being property is by far the hardest thing I have ever done, but it also happens to be the best thing I have ever done. At times I find it so difficult, but the rewards are sublime and I would not swap it for anything.
Wednesday, 14 December 2011
Waiting
Tomorrow is now very close and my nerves are growing. First the doctors then MT. Hmmmm wonder which will hurt the most ?
Had a very hard day at work, cold and too many hours. Tomorrow will no doubt not be very relaxing, although I suppose I will at least spend some of the time on the bed, just not sleeping on it.
Tonight I am making the most of sitting down comfortably..........may be the last time for several days.
Had a very hard day at work, cold and too many hours. Tomorrow will no doubt not be very relaxing, although I suppose I will at least spend some of the time on the bed, just not sleeping on it.
Tonight I am making the most of sitting down comfortably..........may be the last time for several days.
Tuesday, 13 December 2011
Impending Anniversary
Traditionally our anniversary, the day MT collared me and officially made me her property, is a painful day. Of course it is also a wonderful celebration of our relationship. There is the bit though where MT reminds me that I am ' Hers To Do With As She Will'.
As most of you are aware, MT is a bit of a sadist and our anniversary is often a time for MT to revel in her 'art'. After MT collared me I was chained to a round table and given the soundest of beatings. I was left in no uncertainty about my status and after the beating I was mercilessly shafted by her and cut. I remember it as if it were only yesterday, mostly as I was bruised for over a month. She took me out to BDSM club the next night and people foolishly thought you couldn't possibly beat anyone on top of such bruising and cuts. Yeah, right.
So, whilst I am happy it is our 5th anniversary on Thursday, I am also trying to mentally prepare myself for the anticipated 'celebrations'. MT has taunted me a little with what may lie ahead. Surprise, surprise there is likely to be long and hard beatings of my body with a range of implements being used. Then when I am red and very sore and probably sniffling, I will be re-introduced to my least favourite item, the big black strap on.
The big black strap on is one of the hardest thing I have to endure and always breaks me down. I dread it and hate it. There is nothing that breaks me like this does. It feels like I am being split into two, I always tear and the pain lasts sometimes for weeks. I am allowed the privilege of lube though, but there is not enough lube in the world to make it bearable. It is huge and very hard.
Usually, after the sound beating and the fucking I am left feeling totally exhausted and totally used.
This 'reminder' has become a tradition, it is also a celebration of our relationship. In the evening we will celebrate in a more gentle fashion and hopefully, when we go to bed I will not be used again.
As most of you are aware, MT is a bit of a sadist and our anniversary is often a time for MT to revel in her 'art'. After MT collared me I was chained to a round table and given the soundest of beatings. I was left in no uncertainty about my status and after the beating I was mercilessly shafted by her and cut. I remember it as if it were only yesterday, mostly as I was bruised for over a month. She took me out to BDSM club the next night and people foolishly thought you couldn't possibly beat anyone on top of such bruising and cuts. Yeah, right.
So, whilst I am happy it is our 5th anniversary on Thursday, I am also trying to mentally prepare myself for the anticipated 'celebrations'. MT has taunted me a little with what may lie ahead. Surprise, surprise there is likely to be long and hard beatings of my body with a range of implements being used. Then when I am red and very sore and probably sniffling, I will be re-introduced to my least favourite item, the big black strap on.
The big black strap on is one of the hardest thing I have to endure and always breaks me down. I dread it and hate it. There is nothing that breaks me like this does. It feels like I am being split into two, I always tear and the pain lasts sometimes for weeks. I am allowed the privilege of lube though, but there is not enough lube in the world to make it bearable. It is huge and very hard.
Usually, after the sound beating and the fucking I am left feeling totally exhausted and totally used.
This 'reminder' has become a tradition, it is also a celebration of our relationship. In the evening we will celebrate in a more gentle fashion and hopefully, when we go to bed I will not be used again.
Monday, 12 December 2011
Gentle day
MT's health has taken a bit of a decline over the last few days. I am hoping she is not heading towards one of her bad periods. I meanwhile, am feeling not too bad, although I have felt a little more stressed over the last couple of days. I am not sure way, perhaps i have got too acclimatised to the anti anxiety pills. Anyhow, I will be seeing the doctor on Thursday for a review, maybe he will tweak my medication a bit.
I pleasured MT today, as usual ;) did some shopping and quite a few little chores around the house, it was a sort of gentle busy day. Back to work tomorrow, hopefully, the weather forecast is not good, but really could do with the money as Xmas is approaching so quickly.
Our 5 th anniversary draws ever closer and with each day I grow a little bit more nervous. Knowing pretty much what I am going to receive and the pain it will bring is such a powerful thing. It is very much one of those double edged sword moments.
I pleasured MT today, as usual ;) did some shopping and quite a few little chores around the house, it was a sort of gentle busy day. Back to work tomorrow, hopefully, the weather forecast is not good, but really could do with the money as Xmas is approaching so quickly.
Our 5 th anniversary draws ever closer and with each day I grow a little bit more nervous. Knowing pretty much what I am going to receive and the pain it will bring is such a powerful thing. It is very much one of those double edged sword moments.
Sunday, 11 December 2011
Sex, Xmas and Decorations
Last night I was permitted to pleasure MT in bed, I still get amazed at how much I really enjoy this, especially as I have been doing if for over 5 years now. I find it sexy and submissive. I was not permitted an orgasm, but I did not mind, it was just really hot making her come over and over again.
Today has been a gentle one, a walk in the forest, a little bit of tidying our garden and the rest sitting around. I was allowed to watch some TT race footage which was nice. There was also the dreaded trip up into our loft to get the Xmas decorations down.
MT is currently in the process of decorating the tree. She makes and excellent job of it as well, the tree always looks amazing. It is the same tree we have had for 4 years, that MT bought when we moved in together. Getting it in and out of the house is tricky. I have never had an xmas tree wth roots before but MT is quite insistent that this is essential. It is not very high but quite wide at the base and when I pick it up I get spiked.
Somehow pain seems to follow me around. It makes a change for the pain not to have been caused by MT.
Today has been a gentle one, a walk in the forest, a little bit of tidying our garden and the rest sitting around. I was allowed to watch some TT race footage which was nice. There was also the dreaded trip up into our loft to get the Xmas decorations down.
MT is currently in the process of decorating the tree. She makes and excellent job of it as well, the tree always looks amazing. It is the same tree we have had for 4 years, that MT bought when we moved in together. Getting it in and out of the house is tricky. I have never had an xmas tree wth roots before but MT is quite insistent that this is essential. It is not very high but quite wide at the base and when I pick it up I get spiked.
Somehow pain seems to follow me around. It makes a change for the pain not to have been caused by MT.
MT's 'understated' tree.
Saturday, 10 December 2011
Getting Back
Due to having not been quite my usual self for a while, MT gave me a bit of a break, shall we say 'cut me some slack'. As previously mentioned in a previous post, we both decided that although it was perhaps necessary, it did have a downside. So, as also mentioned, some physical use has been happening again. This has helped me in quite a few ways.
It has given me something to focus on other than my own anxiety and depression. The pain, has helped as a relief valve for pent up tension (it always does, as does dishing it out, when I am allowed ). The physical re-focusing is working, medicine is often unpleasant ;).
I am now trying to start to focus more on the non-physical aspects and getting my head back into gear regarding trying to be a good piece of property and ensuring I try to be the slave MT wants me to be.
The physical stuff I find a little easier, it always seems as though there is no choice, of course there isn't.
But with the psychological stuff, it sometimes 'feels'less compulsory, although of course it is even more important than the physical stuff.
Many people opt for the occasional foray into bdsm, it is quite simple, quite easy really. A person goes to an event, if they mutually find someone to have some action with they do. There is the limit of time, of intensity, of boundaries and a host of other things. If they enjoyed it they can do it again, if not, they never have to. The choice is theirs, as and when, if and when they wish , with whoever they choose to do it with.
In O/p these choices do not exist. The BDSM element is a fraction of the big picture. I still find the hardest things being the requirement to ask for permission for things. The little simple things I have taken for granted as being a 'right'. Having to ask for alcohol, sweets, cake, to go on my bike etc etc, it would be quicker to list the things I can do without having to obtain permission.
Added to this is of course the need to respond to services, tasks for your Owner whenever required to, day or night, 24/7, every week of every year.
It would no doubt sound like hell to many people outside of this type of dynamic. But I would feel lost without it and am so pleased i am getting closer to being back to where I was and just as importantly, to try and become an even better asset to MT.
It has given me something to focus on other than my own anxiety and depression. The pain, has helped as a relief valve for pent up tension (it always does, as does dishing it out, when I am allowed ). The physical re-focusing is working, medicine is often unpleasant ;).
I am now trying to start to focus more on the non-physical aspects and getting my head back into gear regarding trying to be a good piece of property and ensuring I try to be the slave MT wants me to be.
The physical stuff I find a little easier, it always seems as though there is no choice, of course there isn't.
But with the psychological stuff, it sometimes 'feels'less compulsory, although of course it is even more important than the physical stuff.
Many people opt for the occasional foray into bdsm, it is quite simple, quite easy really. A person goes to an event, if they mutually find someone to have some action with they do. There is the limit of time, of intensity, of boundaries and a host of other things. If they enjoyed it they can do it again, if not, they never have to. The choice is theirs, as and when, if and when they wish , with whoever they choose to do it with.
In O/p these choices do not exist. The BDSM element is a fraction of the big picture. I still find the hardest things being the requirement to ask for permission for things. The little simple things I have taken for granted as being a 'right'. Having to ask for alcohol, sweets, cake, to go on my bike etc etc, it would be quicker to list the things I can do without having to obtain permission.
Added to this is of course the need to respond to services, tasks for your Owner whenever required to, day or night, 24/7, every week of every year.
It would no doubt sound like hell to many people outside of this type of dynamic. But I would feel lost without it and am so pleased i am getting closer to being back to where I was and just as importantly, to try and become an even better asset to MT.
Thursday, 8 December 2011
Good day
It is 8-05 pm and I have yet to provide MT with sexual service today...........this is so rare.
We did, however, spend a nice day together, even though it involved getting some Xmas supermarket shopping. The supermarket shop is one of my least favourite activities.
I seem to suffer supermarket rage, especially when I queue up at a checkout for ages, then once I have committed my shopping to the conveyor belt they open another till..........Grrrrrrrrrrrr..... and then people get served who haven't waited at all. And I am still waiting even after the newly opened till has served 5 or 6 customers. See how well the anti anxiety pills are working ? Good job MT was there :)
I am also being allowed to watch the Isle of Man TT documentary on pay per view TV later tonight, that is a big treat.
It is our 5 th anniversary of our O/p relationship next week. I will post some details of previous 'celebrations' in a few days time. Suffice to say, it is often a painful celebration.
We did, however, spend a nice day together, even though it involved getting some Xmas supermarket shopping. The supermarket shop is one of my least favourite activities.
I seem to suffer supermarket rage, especially when I queue up at a checkout for ages, then once I have committed my shopping to the conveyor belt they open another till..........Grrrrrrrrrrrr..... and then people get served who haven't waited at all. And I am still waiting even after the newly opened till has served 5 or 6 customers. See how well the anti anxiety pills are working ? Good job MT was there :)
I am also being allowed to watch the Isle of Man TT documentary on pay per view TV later tonight, that is a big treat.
It is our 5 th anniversary of our O/p relationship next week. I will post some details of previous 'celebrations' in a few days time. Suffice to say, it is often a painful celebration.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)