Firstly, my apologies for yesterday's pic, I hope you had all eaten before viewing. I just logged on & found it much to my surprise. MT informs me she decided to do this as 'she didn't see why my loyal readership should waste their effort just because I was being a huffy little bitch and not posted on my blog for a few days'.
Second apology for lack of blog posts lately, I am just such a bad boy ;) I have been too tired, too stressed and in too much pain. And ok, too stroppy.
Boring bits : MT has decided enough is enough and has made an appointment for me to see the Doctor next Thursday, she will accompany me. Just to make sure everything is covered ie pain from my knee, my volatile moodiness recently, and my continuous tiredness.
After pleas from others as well as myself MT has graciously stopped playing 'Florence and the Mechanics' quite so constantly. Thank fuck. Who gives a fuck what the water gave you?
Last Night : bedtime, told to lay on tummy, Njoy unceremoniously inserted by MT, told to roll over and bring off owner. Job done, MT went to sleep first, thus I could not ask if I could remove plug, therefore went to sleep with plug firmly fitted as I did not want to risk MT's wrath by removing it without permission. Groan.
Today : Laid a base for a new metal shed, which MT insisted we purchase as I have taken over the lean to with my tools. I was then allowed a nice ride out on the bike which was shorter than I wanted because knee was painful and it was a wee bit chilly......and the roads were damp/wet so had to go slower than I like to...damn.
MT took me to bedroom this afternoon, the dreaded plug was fitted again and is still in, nice and uncomfortable as I am sitting down writing this......yes thanks for the sympathy, I can just hear it all...NOT..
I was instructed to pleasure MT to orgasm, then told to lay on my back while she used her dildo to bring herself off some more while she slapped me. Or as she put it 'lie there on your stuffed little arse while I wank myself on my dildo, bitch'. And they say romance is dead.
Then it was time for dinner, I was permitted a glass of wine and MT made me her scrummy pancakes :)
Tomorrow, now here's the thing. I have offered to take MT to one of her favourite places, Blakeney Point in Norfolk. BUT.......... MT has said that as much as she wants to go to Blakeney, she also thinks it might be beneficial for me if we stay home all day and she 'tortures' me to remind me of my place and to make my rear very stretched and sore, there has been threats of the dreaded scalding.
Strangely enough, I have been trying to steer her towards the trip to Blakeney Point, fuck knows why :)
Sunday, 13 November 2011
Saturday, 12 November 2011
Tuesday, 8 November 2011
Torture
I am being mercilessly tortured by MT and have been for three days in a row now.
MT is relentlessly and without mercy, constantly playing her latest CD..........'Ceremonials' by Florence and the Machine and in particular, the track 'What the water Gave Me'. WTF?
It is pure hell, I just wish I had a safe word.
In revenge I keep referring to the artist as 'Florence and the Mechanics'.
I complained of brainwashing, but she invokes Ownerly privilege and also replied that 'it is revenge for my constant chatter about motorbikes and me watching TV programmes that drive her crazy.'
I knew there would be a downside to the reduced working hours...........more torture time available for MT to amuse herself with.
MT is relentlessly and without mercy, constantly playing her latest CD..........'Ceremonials' by Florence and the Machine and in particular, the track 'What the water Gave Me'. WTF?
It is pure hell, I just wish I had a safe word.
In revenge I keep referring to the artist as 'Florence and the Mechanics'.
I complained of brainwashing, but she invokes Ownerly privilege and also replied that 'it is revenge for my constant chatter about motorbikes and me watching TV programmes that drive her crazy.'
I knew there would be a downside to the reduced working hours...........more torture time available for MT to amuse herself with.
Monday, 7 November 2011
Being difficult
The new work schedule is well underway and already I am feeling a little less stressed and a little less tired.
Due to my recent behaviour, I am still not flavour of the month, but that is only to be expected. I have never had too much time for people who do not accept that there are usually consequences to their actions or behaviours.
The old adage ' If you can't do the time, don't do the crime' seem relevant to me. In the fire service I used to know all of the rules, but chose to bend some and break others. I always knew what I was doing and I also knew ( if I got caught or challenged ) that there would be consequences. Thus it was up to me to either tow the line or suffer the consequences. There were very few times I towed the line on issues that were important to me.
Diplomacy and tact have never been very used tools in my toolbox, of course I have known I should use them sometimes and that they would probably be the best method of getting close to what I wanted to achieve, but somehow, that type of approach seemed too antithetical to my core being.
There have been odd occasions in my life when I have bit my tongue and not said what I truly felt, and afterwards I have regretted it so much that I have seldom repeated the experience. It drove me crazy, feeling like I had taken the easy way out, almost like I had been a coward, silly, but that is how it made me feel.I felt like I had betrayed myself, I had been untrue.
Of course, there is a difference between knowing right from wrong and a difference when people do not know what they are doing. Often people have criticised me more than they would others, because I have known what the expected 'right thing to do ' was , but actively chose to take the opposite or an alternative path.
I suppose many of my traits are somewhat antithetical to O/p, but somehow I find a sense of belonging in our O/p relationship and a sense of safety and overall contentment. It is a rocky road and often an uncomfortable journey, but it is also fulfilling.
I have often thought that the most precious things are those that are the hardest to attain.
Due to my recent behaviour, I am still not flavour of the month, but that is only to be expected. I have never had too much time for people who do not accept that there are usually consequences to their actions or behaviours.
The old adage ' If you can't do the time, don't do the crime' seem relevant to me. In the fire service I used to know all of the rules, but chose to bend some and break others. I always knew what I was doing and I also knew ( if I got caught or challenged ) that there would be consequences. Thus it was up to me to either tow the line or suffer the consequences. There were very few times I towed the line on issues that were important to me.
Diplomacy and tact have never been very used tools in my toolbox, of course I have known I should use them sometimes and that they would probably be the best method of getting close to what I wanted to achieve, but somehow, that type of approach seemed too antithetical to my core being.
There have been odd occasions in my life when I have bit my tongue and not said what I truly felt, and afterwards I have regretted it so much that I have seldom repeated the experience. It drove me crazy, feeling like I had taken the easy way out, almost like I had been a coward, silly, but that is how it made me feel.I felt like I had betrayed myself, I had been untrue.
Of course, there is a difference between knowing right from wrong and a difference when people do not know what they are doing. Often people have criticised me more than they would others, because I have known what the expected 'right thing to do ' was , but actively chose to take the opposite or an alternative path.
I suppose many of my traits are somewhat antithetical to O/p, but somehow I find a sense of belonging in our O/p relationship and a sense of safety and overall contentment. It is a rocky road and often an uncomfortable journey, but it is also fulfilling.
I have often thought that the most precious things are those that are the hardest to attain.
Sunday, 6 November 2011
Imperfect slave
A big thank you to everyone who made lovely comments about my blog, it really is appreciated.
I think many people would imagine that this lifestyle is very different to what it actually is. It is funny how it all seems to just 'be'. Of course each of our dynamics are unique.
The 'normal' things that happen in a person's life all continue to occur, bills, work, sickness, birthdays, deaths, stress, strain, accidents, too much to do and too little time to do it in etc etc.
Unfortunately, (in this house) there are other 'normal' things that happen just like in some other types of relationships. Things such as, getting miffed with the other person every now and again, disagreements on things, views of injustice, being hard done by, not being understood, not getting what you wanted, feeling overworked, undervalued etc.
The matters in the previous paragraph should not 'technically' occur in an O/p relationship, it could be argued that in an O/p relationship that such behaviour from the property is totally unacceptable. Some might say that such behaviour should lead to their demise as property and 'technically' one might agree.
Of course, everyone is entitled to their opinions on this aspect. My view is relatively simple, I am a human being, I have feelings, emotions and behavioral patterns. I have a core personality and I have a response mechanism triggered by many things, one of which is my reaction to events/circumstances. I am far from being a perfect human in so may ways.
Thus as a human, I will often fuck up, I will get moody, snarky and even hostile. I will sometimes act in virtually the opposite way as to how a property should act. In my opinion this does not exclude me from being property, it may mean I am a badly behaved piece of property but I am still property.
I have a vested interest in my opinion and I fully understand that most people, including MT sometimes would see this as being unacceptable and 'technically' I agree. But I have always been a person more interested in the practicality of situations rather than the theoretical standpoint.
Controversially, I also think that sometimes Owners do not make the best decisions and are sometimes prone to make mistakes and that is also fine, because, contrary to some people's views, they are also human and thus also prone to human frailty. This paragraph may cause Internet mayhem and calls of bad slave from across the globe, there may even be a contract put out :).
I am not making excuses for why sometimes I am not a good slave or sometimes why I act nothing like a slave should, I am just trying to explain why I am sometimes like I am. I know it is wrong to behave like that, I apologise for my behaviour afterwards and I am always very sorry for my actions (even when I have felt I have been in the right). But I do think it is 'normal' and though it is not technically acceptable behaviour I do think it is something that should be expected sometimes. Of course if it happens frequently enough then that is perhaps a different matter.
Even during the roughest times with MT, I still always feel like her property (I know MT will nearly choke on that) but it is how I feel. I can shout and holler and feel like everything is wrong, but it does not make me want to not be her property anymore, it just means I am pissed off at that moment and I am crap at holding it in.
It is something I would love to be able to change about me, especially as it really upsets and annoys her. It also upsets and annoys me, but somehow it just happens.
So I am genuinely sorry for the times I piss off and/or upset my Owner, but being sorry is not enough really, because you can only have so many sorries in any type of relationship. So I shall have to persevere and try to behave better, but it is so hard when I feel aggrieved by something.....cos I am always right ;)
I think many people would imagine that this lifestyle is very different to what it actually is. It is funny how it all seems to just 'be'. Of course each of our dynamics are unique.
The 'normal' things that happen in a person's life all continue to occur, bills, work, sickness, birthdays, deaths, stress, strain, accidents, too much to do and too little time to do it in etc etc.
Unfortunately, (in this house) there are other 'normal' things that happen just like in some other types of relationships. Things such as, getting miffed with the other person every now and again, disagreements on things, views of injustice, being hard done by, not being understood, not getting what you wanted, feeling overworked, undervalued etc.
The matters in the previous paragraph should not 'technically' occur in an O/p relationship, it could be argued that in an O/p relationship that such behaviour from the property is totally unacceptable. Some might say that such behaviour should lead to their demise as property and 'technically' one might agree.
Of course, everyone is entitled to their opinions on this aspect. My view is relatively simple, I am a human being, I have feelings, emotions and behavioral patterns. I have a core personality and I have a response mechanism triggered by many things, one of which is my reaction to events/circumstances. I am far from being a perfect human in so may ways.
Thus as a human, I will often fuck up, I will get moody, snarky and even hostile. I will sometimes act in virtually the opposite way as to how a property should act. In my opinion this does not exclude me from being property, it may mean I am a badly behaved piece of property but I am still property.
I have a vested interest in my opinion and I fully understand that most people, including MT sometimes would see this as being unacceptable and 'technically' I agree. But I have always been a person more interested in the practicality of situations rather than the theoretical standpoint.
Controversially, I also think that sometimes Owners do not make the best decisions and are sometimes prone to make mistakes and that is also fine, because, contrary to some people's views, they are also human and thus also prone to human frailty. This paragraph may cause Internet mayhem and calls of bad slave from across the globe, there may even be a contract put out :).
I am not making excuses for why sometimes I am not a good slave or sometimes why I act nothing like a slave should, I am just trying to explain why I am sometimes like I am. I know it is wrong to behave like that, I apologise for my behaviour afterwards and I am always very sorry for my actions (even when I have felt I have been in the right). But I do think it is 'normal' and though it is not technically acceptable behaviour I do think it is something that should be expected sometimes. Of course if it happens frequently enough then that is perhaps a different matter.
Even during the roughest times with MT, I still always feel like her property (I know MT will nearly choke on that) but it is how I feel. I can shout and holler and feel like everything is wrong, but it does not make me want to not be her property anymore, it just means I am pissed off at that moment and I am crap at holding it in.
It is something I would love to be able to change about me, especially as it really upsets and annoys her. It also upsets and annoys me, but somehow it just happens.
So I am genuinely sorry for the times I piss off and/or upset my Owner, but being sorry is not enough really, because you can only have so many sorries in any type of relationship. So I shall have to persevere and try to behave better, but it is so hard when I feel aggrieved by something.....cos I am always right ;)
Saturday, 5 November 2011
Another quiet day
I just want to clarify that when I said on yesterday's blog I was on my third book, I meant third book of the week, not third book ever. Even I don't read that slowly.
Another quiet day, only a couple of hours work this morning and the rest of the day spent relaxing, apart from a little house cleaning.
Having lived on my own a few times I am quite lucky that the domestic stuff comes quite easy for me. I have also been lucky to have some good cooks to teach me the necessary culinary skills.
MT's back is better, not right, but better, so that is good, back's can be so tricky and painful.
It is really great having so many female followers on my blog. I have been quite surprised by it. I know a few, who particularly like to read about me getting a hard time :) so posts like this one must be rather boring.
I am going to make a conscious effort to read a few more of other people's blogs, I read a few of the 'followers' to my blog and really enjoy them.
Another quiet day, only a couple of hours work this morning and the rest of the day spent relaxing, apart from a little house cleaning.
Having lived on my own a few times I am quite lucky that the domestic stuff comes quite easy for me. I have also been lucky to have some good cooks to teach me the necessary culinary skills.
MT's back is better, not right, but better, so that is good, back's can be so tricky and painful.
It is really great having so many female followers on my blog. I have been quite surprised by it. I know a few, who particularly like to read about me getting a hard time :) so posts like this one must be rather boring.
I am going to make a conscious effort to read a few more of other people's blogs, I read a few of the 'followers' to my blog and really enjoy them.
Friday, 4 November 2011
Quiet time
It has been a fairly quiet time here over the last few days. MT hurt her back while sitting down having a coffee, well those cups can be quite heavy. Joking aside, her back went into spasm whilst she was in a cafe and I had to go and pick her up.
Meanwhile, I have been busy doing all the usual things like work, housework, shopping and some cooking. I have also continued my reading frenzy, now on my third book which is ' The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo' by Stieg Larsson. So far I am enjoying it, it was a slow start but is building up nicely.
Reading is a great way for me to relax.
The weather was crap today, loads of rain, so I got quite wet which was not much fun. Next up is book reading followed by a film on tv, life can be so taxing sometimes.
Meanwhile, I have been busy doing all the usual things like work, housework, shopping and some cooking. I have also continued my reading frenzy, now on my third book which is ' The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo' by Stieg Larsson. So far I am enjoying it, it was a slow start but is building up nicely.
Reading is a great way for me to relax.
The weather was crap today, loads of rain, so I got quite wet which was not much fun. Next up is book reading followed by a film on tv, life can be so taxing sometimes.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)