Bitch and Beach

What can I say.....it has been a busy 24 hrs. As can be seen by MT's input on here, she went on a little photo posting mission. My backside being the target, I think the photos reminded her to use it some more.

Thanks to those who made supportive comments about how spankable it looks, MT does not need that type of encouragement ;)

Bedtime was, shall we say, interesting. While pleasuring MT she suddenly decided to cane my anus. There was no warning about this dreaded activity, the thought obviously just occurred to her, probably because I admitted I was sore from the plug, and next thing I knew I was holding my cheeks apart while she delivered many hard strokes with the thin, stingy cane on 'her fuckhole'. I tried to stay in position but was 'dancing around' on the bed. MT said not to worry, any strokes that missed her desired target would not be counted. Apparently she has decided I am in need of anal discipline at present.

Then, not for the first time, MT made reference to 'treating me as her wife'. At great length, and in some fine detail she spent a long time explaining to me how I would be used if I was given the privilege of being allowed to be her 'wife'. Those who read this blog will no doubt of gathered that I am not, shall we say, a particularly stereotypical slave (although I am not totally sure what a 'stereotypical slave' would actually be in real life).

So being told about possible 'wife status', is shall we say, more than just a tad humiliating. Whilst this was occurring I was providing stimulus to MT's rather aroused clit, it was kinda scary just how wet this talk was making her. After some time, I was told 'get on your back bitch', so onto my back I went and MT used her 'wife' until she was satisfied.

She then rolled off, turned over and went to sleep......I am led to believe, as a wife, I should get used to this behaviour, ie being used and left wanting. I am sure some who read this blog may have some sympathy for my predicament.

This morning I was unceremoniously woken by the immortal words 'get on your front bitch', still half asleep I rolled over onto my tummy. I knew what the next instruction was  going to be, 'spread your thighs and stick your bottom up'. At least I was given lube before being given a very vigorous fucking with the hard long red dildo. It really is solid and and not only bruises but also causes friction burns. I got up with a very sore and very used bottom. How 'wifely'.

Then, we had a lovely trip to Blakeney.  It was great to have some nice relaxing time together as we have had a very stressful time lately. Time together to relax, unwind, and take in the scenery was very much appreciated and made a welcome change. We had some nice food, walked a long way, and MT took a few photos with her new camera.

Perhaps one day, as a lowly slave, I can aspire to this as my luxury yacht. Even slaves can dream.....

Blakeney is one of MT's favourite places. This will no doubt mystify my Antipodean readers in particular, who may not recognise this as the coast. And indeed it was extremely cold. But us Brits are made of stern stuff.

Tempting waters...

Glorious sands....

This is typical Blakeney 'beach' attire;

Fuck, I'm sexy in my beachwear

Hopefully the long walk in the Blakeney cold will have tired MT out a little and she will be fast asleep as soon as her pretty head hits the pillow........Hmmmmmm not gonna put too much money on that one.

Hush, hush



He looks so cute when he's sleeping - don't you think?
~ Posted by MT



Flawed slave

There are many things I find difficult about being a slave. I have overcome a huge number of things so far that were challenging but there are still some things I find very hard to overcome and repeatedly they interfere/ interrupt my slavery. When this happens there are several implications, firstly, I get so pissed off I react badly and often feel like saying ' fuck this I have had enough'. When I do act badly it totally hacks off MT, and sometimes it also upsets her. I do not like to cause her either of these feelings but, at the time, because I feel she has made me feel like I do, I think 'fuck it'.

Now I know this is not good slave behaviour, I know many people would see it as being appalling behaviour for anyone let alone a slave.Being a person with my background and life experiences coupled with my dominant personality make me a fairly strange person to perhaps be property. It was not something I ever yearned for, just the opposite in fact. but, I met MT and fell in love and the rest is history.

BUT....I do not think it is either surprising or to be unexpected that it was never going to be easy, either from my perspective or MT's.

My main problem is when I think MT is either treating me unfairly or badly 'In My Opinion'. It makes me kick off and I just can't seem to stop it. Whether the issue I get hacked off about has justification or not is pretty much a matter of perspective, rather than being factual (again in my opinion). So it would be pointless to discuss examples as it could be over anything.

The issue is really about me not being able to accept something which I really do not like or where I think MT is wrong/ mistaken or just being 'unnecessarily' bossy/ pedantic/ petty/ awkward etc. When this happens my opinion, my view, my feelings, my emotions, my angst etc becomes paramount to me and I really do not care too much about the impact on her at that particular time.

Afterwards, on cooling down, reflecting, re-considering etc I usually very much regret how I handled x or y and the impact it had on MT. Sometimes I see that I over reacted, took something negatively that was meant to be positive, or was just in a shit mood, or my viewpoint remains the same but I understand that she communicated something I misinterpreted, or made a genuine mistake, or that she just wants something I don't want her to want..

I know that many people may think Owners stand in such an exalted position they should never be challenged or criticised, disobeyed or upset by their property. Whilst in principle (in an ideal world) I can see this as being the 'perfect' O/p relationship position to be attained I personally find the 'real world' to be not such an easy place.

I am her slave, but I still have my own opinions, thoughts, standards, ethics, personality, emotions, strengths, weaknesses, flaws, desires etc etc.

Most of the time, I think I do pretty well, but the difficult times are the ones that really put a strain on a relationship. I do not think many people split up because their relationship is too perfect. It usually happens because there are problems which do not get resolved.

If I was to become a 'perfect slave' I believe I would only be able to achieve it by first becoming a 'perfect human being' . Being a realist and knowing myself reasonably well, I will never become a perfect human being, thus I shall never become a perfect slave.

What I WILL do, is to strive to become the best slave I can be for my Owner. For me, understanding where things go wrong/ awry and trying to change/ overcome/ modify etc my thoughts, feelings, emotions and reactions accordingly may lead to greater success.

In the great internet world and in terms of the purity of an O/p relationship many people believe that the only criteria is to submit and accept everything totally at all times without exception. Also, that a slaves opinion is irrelevant or a slave should not perhaps even have an opinion, and that the only opinions that ever matter are those of the Owner.

I personally believe that such perfect O/p relationships rarely exist where for both parties there is complete utopia at all times.

I am sorry for all the times I have let down MT or pissed her off or upset her. I can not promise to never do it again, because I will. But I can promise to try harder and to continue to try and become the best slave I can.

MT knows me better than anyone else ever has, and I know she has no illusions about me and I know she expects me to not always meet her expectations.........but she does expect me to try and that is what I will continue to do.