Both us us are still feeling unwell today, but MT seems a bit better than I am. So when she said this afternoon that she was going for a little lay down in the bedroom I very eagerly joined her.
It was really nice to have a lie down, albeit I sometimes feel better when I am vertical with this stupid virus. After a very short while I started to touch MT and ended up giving her an orgasm with my fingers. I was then told to turn over onto my stomach. At this point, all sense of 'it will be safe in bed as MT does not feel well went flying out through the window'.
She promptly pulled my shorts down and off, then I could hear her opening the silver box of toys. A few seconds later the thud of the wooden paddle could be heard at precisely the same time a a very painful stinging on my buttocks could be felt. I heard MT make her sort of 'groan' which means she is enjoying inflicting the pain and I knew I was in for a good tanning. It was a firm thrashing and I hate the wooden paddle, it has holes in it and this seems to make it sting more somehow.
One of the worse things about it was that when I howled it hurt my throat and chest, so I couldn't even holler out to relieve the pain a bit like I usually do. I could feel the swelling coming up, particularly on my left buttock which seemed to be getting extra attention. I could also feel the heat building up and this is a bad sign as MT loves to fuck bruised and hot cheeks.
So after she had stopped and I had thanked her, as is the protocol in our house, I was told I was well enough to have my arse used. It's hard saying a word which is opposite to the one your brain is screaming out at you to say. but I managed to utter something vaguely polite.
So for roughly an hour MT gave me a thorough fucking in my bruised, sore rear. There were many references to me being her bum boy and other such derogatory remarks which is pretty much normal.
What was not so normal, was my inability to scream and holler as per usual. The dreaded virus stopped me from being vocal; and all I could manage was pathetic little whimpering and choking which brought out even more piss taking from her. Adding to my humiliation was the fact that she also eventually managed to make me stiff. This is something that never used to occur, but MT, over the years has trained me to get an erection when she fucks me and this completely humiliates me and she just loves to make use of this while coming up my arse. I lost count of how many orgasms she had, but it was quite a few.
So now I have a sore throat, sore chest, sore buttocks and a sore anus........time to get some more painkillers down me I think.
Monday 31 October 2011
Sunday 30 October 2011
Unwell Owner with an unwell slave.
Unfortunately, MT and I both seem to have a virus and we are both feeling crap. Sore throats, chesty and high temperature all combined with extreme tiredness and exhaustion. It is excellent timing, as yesterday, today and tomorrow we have time we could spend together with no work or other commitments.
We are both still mobile but had to go to the supermarket today and that was just too much. Keeping going when you have to though is what everyone has to do, we really could do with another slave....a healthy one.
I have managed to do some pleasure reading today though, which is nice. It is one of the few things I am permitted to do without having to ask MT for approval. In fact, she actively encourages it and sources me some excellent books to read. I have just started reading 'The Vagrants' by Yiyun Li, I particularly like it because it is set in China which is probably my favourite country I have visited.
It was one of those places I had wanted to visit for many years and I was so pleased that unusually,, the reality far outweighed my expectations.I spent a frenetic three and a half weeks touring by air, train, boat and road, it was incredible. I didn't manage to meet any obvious Chinese owners or property though.
We are both still mobile but had to go to the supermarket today and that was just too much. Keeping going when you have to though is what everyone has to do, we really could do with another slave....a healthy one.
I have managed to do some pleasure reading today though, which is nice. It is one of the few things I am permitted to do without having to ask MT for approval. In fact, she actively encourages it and sources me some excellent books to read. I have just started reading 'The Vagrants' by Yiyun Li, I particularly like it because it is set in China which is probably my favourite country I have visited.
It was one of those places I had wanted to visit for many years and I was so pleased that unusually,, the reality far outweighed my expectations.I spent a frenetic three and a half weeks touring by air, train, boat and road, it was incredible. I didn't manage to meet any obvious Chinese owners or property though.
Friday 28 October 2011
Slave reviewing Owner
I often ponder things regarding my status as property, I still have this 'How the fuck did I get here' question that reverberates around my head every now and again. Unfortunately, the answer is nowhere to be found inside my head.
There are some things about it though that I do understand, not the 'how' part but more to do with why it was MT and not someone else. Timing was a factor, right time right place sort of thing, it was an element but not the main one.
MT has many attributes and I shan't bore you all by by listing all of them (there are more than two, I think.......just joking M). One of her most significant ones that was perhaps vital for me was the fact that I respect her.
Respect has not been something I have shown very much to people over the years. Probably due in part to my egotistical nature, combined with some internal driver that makes me feel more comfortable not being part of the crowd and having no desire to fit in with anything or anyone. Respect is something I have only had for less than a handful of people. Please don't get me wrong, there are many people who I may have respect for what they have done/achieved/contributed etc but not respect that I feel on a personal/relationship type level. I hope that makes sense.
MT is so different from me in many ways, we have some similarities but she is fundamentally a different creature than me. I think we are both intelligent, yet she uses her intelligence differently to me and in a more positive way. She is able to adapt to change quite quickly without too much fuss or drama and to keep focused more on the bigger picture.
I am very much a 'at the moment' type and if I am pissed off about something I will have little or no regard for the bigger picture. I respect the fact she can maintain her focus. Perhaps the biggest thing I respect about her is that she has been able to keep me on my toes and pretty much in check for five years.
That may not seem much to someone who does not know me, but I have been more than a bit too 'tricky' for most people to deal with. I really respect her for this, as well as her massive amount of patience, which I think I have 'nearly exhausted on several occasions. She is a fighter, tough and ruthless if necessary, yet very feminine, sexy and fun.........she really is alright ;)
There are some things about it though that I do understand, not the 'how' part but more to do with why it was MT and not someone else. Timing was a factor, right time right place sort of thing, it was an element but not the main one.
MT has many attributes and I shan't bore you all by by listing all of them (there are more than two, I think.......just joking M). One of her most significant ones that was perhaps vital for me was the fact that I respect her.
Respect has not been something I have shown very much to people over the years. Probably due in part to my egotistical nature, combined with some internal driver that makes me feel more comfortable not being part of the crowd and having no desire to fit in with anything or anyone. Respect is something I have only had for less than a handful of people. Please don't get me wrong, there are many people who I may have respect for what they have done/achieved/contributed etc but not respect that I feel on a personal/relationship type level. I hope that makes sense.
MT is so different from me in many ways, we have some similarities but she is fundamentally a different creature than me. I think we are both intelligent, yet she uses her intelligence differently to me and in a more positive way. She is able to adapt to change quite quickly without too much fuss or drama and to keep focused more on the bigger picture.
I am very much a 'at the moment' type and if I am pissed off about something I will have little or no regard for the bigger picture. I respect the fact she can maintain her focus. Perhaps the biggest thing I respect about her is that she has been able to keep me on my toes and pretty much in check for five years.
That may not seem much to someone who does not know me, but I have been more than a bit too 'tricky' for most people to deal with. I really respect her for this, as well as her massive amount of patience, which I think I have 'nearly exhausted on several occasions. She is a fighter, tough and ruthless if necessary, yet very feminine, sexy and fun.........she really is alright ;)
Thursday 27 October 2011
This slave's book.
Not long after MT and I got together (when she kept me at home all day, before I was working) I was issued with a little book. Inside the little book was a set of instructions for the day. These were specific things I was to do, things such as pedicure MT's feet, put up shelving, provide a massage, take MT out, wear a plug, perform various domestic duties, give oral sex, abide by certain restrictions etc. Each day MT would write the new day's task on a new page and mark them off at the end of the day.
I have to admit, sometimes the list looked a little daunting and sometimes I did not complete all of the tasks......and sometimes I was punished for my failings (quite rightly of course).
When when we started our little business, the little book fell by the wayside, basically, because I was too busy to provide all the 'extras'. Today I have been issued with another book, but this one is bigger. So far this book just has a few pages in it entitled 'Things I like you doing'. At the moment there are twenty one items listed.
MT said the list will grow, but I must focus on achieving the things that make her happy, ie the items in the book. Apparently, she briefly considered giving me the book with a list of things she does not like me to do, but as per her preference decided to give me 'positive' things to do. I rather think this was a diplomatic way of saying the list of things she doesn't like me to do would be far too long to write out.
The issue of the book now is of course no coincidence, I am shortly to embark on the reduced work schedule and MT is obviously marking out her stall early ....and I thought I might get a rest :) So far this is a very different approach and I think it is something of a refocusing exercise, including going back to basics.
I was permitted to caress and stroke MT this afternoon, and in the course of sexually pleasuring her I was also allowed to give her oral sex as well as anal sex. It is such hard work being a slave sometimes, but someone's gotta do it..........sighs.
I have to admit, sometimes the list looked a little daunting and sometimes I did not complete all of the tasks......and sometimes I was punished for my failings (quite rightly of course).
When when we started our little business, the little book fell by the wayside, basically, because I was too busy to provide all the 'extras'. Today I have been issued with another book, but this one is bigger. So far this book just has a few pages in it entitled 'Things I like you doing'. At the moment there are twenty one items listed.
MT said the list will grow, but I must focus on achieving the things that make her happy, ie the items in the book. Apparently, she briefly considered giving me the book with a list of things she does not like me to do, but as per her preference decided to give me 'positive' things to do. I rather think this was a diplomatic way of saying the list of things she doesn't like me to do would be far too long to write out.
The issue of the book now is of course no coincidence, I am shortly to embark on the reduced work schedule and MT is obviously marking out her stall early ....and I thought I might get a rest :) So far this is a very different approach and I think it is something of a refocusing exercise, including going back to basics.
I was permitted to caress and stroke MT this afternoon, and in the course of sexually pleasuring her I was also allowed to give her oral sex as well as anal sex. It is such hard work being a slave sometimes, but someone's gotta do it..........sighs.
Wednesday 26 October 2011
Changing
Only a few days to go before my new work schedule starts and the much awaited drop in hours. I can't wait.
It will free up more time to be with MT. This will lead to me being able to look after her more when she is feeling unwell and for me to give her better service in other areas, including the sexual side and feeding her sadistic needs as well no doubt. Plus I will have more time to do the household chores and decorate/garden etc.
The last two years have been hectic, with not enough time spent together, albeit, we probably spend more time together than a lot of couples.
I think we both need to have our time together and I definitely need a break from work.
Of course, when I am out working I am still serving her, but I much prefer it when I am actually with her, even though it can be 'painful' sometimes
I really miss her when we are apart and this is something which has hitherto been alien to me. Prior to MT I used to love my own time alone, I used to really look forward to it. I am not a person who needs to live with someone, I can be totally self sufficient, I just chose to not live alone sometimes.
Since becoming property though I have felt the 'need' to be with MT, and long to be with her more and spend less time apart, a strange change for me and totally different from the past.
It will free up more time to be with MT. This will lead to me being able to look after her more when she is feeling unwell and for me to give her better service in other areas, including the sexual side and feeding her sadistic needs as well no doubt. Plus I will have more time to do the household chores and decorate/garden etc.
The last two years have been hectic, with not enough time spent together, albeit, we probably spend more time together than a lot of couples.
I think we both need to have our time together and I definitely need a break from work.
Of course, when I am out working I am still serving her, but I much prefer it when I am actually with her, even though it can be 'painful' sometimes
I really miss her when we are apart and this is something which has hitherto been alien to me. Prior to MT I used to love my own time alone, I used to really look forward to it. I am not a person who needs to live with someone, I can be totally self sufficient, I just chose to not live alone sometimes.
Since becoming property though I have felt the 'need' to be with MT, and long to be with her more and spend less time apart, a strange change for me and totally different from the past.
Tuesday 25 October 2011
Going down
Last night I was permitted to thoroughly ravish MT and was allowed some of the sexual 'past life toppy stuff' . Not being a person to miss such an opportunity I threw myself into it with a passion. Being a modest person (yeah right) even I have to admit 'I was good' and MT was fucking awesome. I went to bed a very contented slave with a bit of a swagger.MT drifted off curled up like a glowy exhausted kitten. She looks exquisite when she's well fucked with her hair all wild and her face flushed.
I awoke this morning and gave MT the usual hug and kiss on waking. MT smiled sweetly with her hair still tousled and purred ' Go and fetch the plug and then you can put your arse up baby'. The phrase 'tomorrow is another day' is a bit of a fucking understatement in this house.
The njoy was duly fetched, my arse was duly raised and the njoy duly inserted. I had forgotten how big and uncomfortable it is. I was then ordered to lay on my back and masturbate until I 'messed myself' (MT's pleasant term for me orgasming during masturbation). I hate this but with some 'prompting' it did not take long for me to humiliate myself for her entertainment. Groan. It really hurt as soon as I'd come, but I was not allowed to remove it until I had been dispatched to make MT's tea.
MT always enjoys bringing me up then crashing me down again. It amuses her no end.
Being put back in my place occurred much quicker than I had expected. I spent the day with the old 'discomfort' feeling in my rear - nothing like being back where one belongs.
I awoke this morning and gave MT the usual hug and kiss on waking. MT smiled sweetly with her hair still tousled and purred ' Go and fetch the plug and then you can put your arse up baby'. The phrase 'tomorrow is another day' is a bit of a fucking understatement in this house.
The njoy was duly fetched, my arse was duly raised and the njoy duly inserted. I had forgotten how big and uncomfortable it is. I was then ordered to lay on my back and masturbate until I 'messed myself' (MT's pleasant term for me orgasming during masturbation). I hate this but with some 'prompting' it did not take long for me to humiliate myself for her entertainment. Groan. It really hurt as soon as I'd come, but I was not allowed to remove it until I had been dispatched to make MT's tea.
MT always enjoys bringing me up then crashing me down again. It amuses her no end.
Being put back in my place occurred much quicker than I had expected. I spent the day with the old 'discomfort' feeling in my rear - nothing like being back where one belongs.
Monday 24 October 2011
A waiting slave
Apparently my good behaviour has continued today. MT informed me last night in bed that if my good behaviour continues then she will use my bottom again soon or plug me..............and this is supposed to inspire me ?
In all honesty, I have missed her using me hard. Whilst I find such use difficult, often painful and very humiliating it does make me feel where I belong. I suppose I am a a person who responds better to physical use rather than psychological use/conditioning, although all types of stimulus do work.
MT is very much a believer of the 'dog wagging the tail ' and not vice-versa. So the more I want something and verbalise it, the less likely I am to get it. Trying reverse psychology would not be a good approach for me, MT would see right through it and then I would be in serious trouble.
In all honesty, I have missed her using me hard. Whilst I find such use difficult, often painful and very humiliating it does make me feel where I belong. I suppose I am a a person who responds better to physical use rather than psychological use/conditioning, although all types of stimulus do work.
MT is very much a believer of the 'dog wagging the tail ' and not vice-versa. So the more I want something and verbalise it, the less likely I am to get it. Trying reverse psychology would not be a good approach for me, MT would see right through it and then I would be in serious trouble.
Sunday 23 October 2011
Good slave service
Today has been a good day, a busy day, but worthwhile.
Yesterday I only worked for two hours so I did not feel as tired as I usually do, or as achey. MT has wanted some jobs done for a while and today was the day. I thought this would be prudent on numerous levels, including the chilli ;) but the main reason was that I wanted to show her my positive attributes which have been a bit in hiding recently.
I took down and moved some shelving in the bedroom as per her requirement. Made good the holes and repainted the whole wall. Cleaned and polished the shelves and ornaments. Fitted MT's pine mirror to the wall and my gothic style mirror. Swept and washed the floor and tidied up the room generally.
I then went and did the supermarket shop with MT, and later made her chick pea curry for dinner which is one of her favourite meals. I also found the the Downton Abbey episode on the internet she wanted to watch and we watched that together.
I was allowed a bike ride which was great. It was a more subdued ride today as earlier on I had watched the Moto GP race on television and unfortunately Marco Simoncelli was fatally injured in a crash. It was a horrific crash and made a chill run through me. So it was a case of taking it extra easy.
MT told me that she was very pleased with me today, which was really great to hear. See I can be good ;)
PS. Had fucking awesome sex last night.
Yesterday I only worked for two hours so I did not feel as tired as I usually do, or as achey. MT has wanted some jobs done for a while and today was the day. I thought this would be prudent on numerous levels, including the chilli ;) but the main reason was that I wanted to show her my positive attributes which have been a bit in hiding recently.
I took down and moved some shelving in the bedroom as per her requirement. Made good the holes and repainted the whole wall. Cleaned and polished the shelves and ornaments. Fitted MT's pine mirror to the wall and my gothic style mirror. Swept and washed the floor and tidied up the room generally.
I then went and did the supermarket shop with MT, and later made her chick pea curry for dinner which is one of her favourite meals. I also found the the Downton Abbey episode on the internet she wanted to watch and we watched that together.
I was allowed a bike ride which was great. It was a more subdued ride today as earlier on I had watched the Moto GP race on television and unfortunately Marco Simoncelli was fatally injured in a crash. It was a horrific crash and made a chill run through me. So it was a case of taking it extra easy.
MT told me that she was very pleased with me today, which was really great to hear. See I can be good ;)
PS. Had fucking awesome sex last night.
Saturday 22 October 2011
Shadows of the past
Sometimes when MT is using me I sort of get flashbacks to those distant days when I was a sadistic dominant male making the most of feminine flesh..
This particularly occurs when she is using me with her strap on. She will make a comment such as ' be a good boy and put your bottom up for me'. I obey (of course) and in the same instance I remember back to when I used to say' be a good girl and put it up for me'. It is like two worlds colliding, neither seem real at that precise moment, yet I know that both are.
Also flashing through my head sometimes at the same time, is 'how the fuck did I get here ?'.
A question pondered so many times I have all but given up even trying to think about it anymore.
The real danger time is when MT does not use me much or exerts less direct control over me, it does not take long for the old dominant me to poke it's head around the corner and sometimes even enter the room.
The most difficult time is if she lets me have a dominant lead in the bedroom, given an inch I will have taken a mile before I have even realised it. Of course I quickly get put back in line but it is a little like dropping a rock over the side of a cliff..............very hard to stop it once you have let go.
Of the two realms, I very much prefer the one where I am now. The past was fun, but this is more rewarding and of greater depth for me.
This particularly occurs when she is using me with her strap on. She will make a comment such as ' be a good boy and put your bottom up for me'. I obey (of course) and in the same instance I remember back to when I used to say' be a good girl and put it up for me'. It is like two worlds colliding, neither seem real at that precise moment, yet I know that both are.
Also flashing through my head sometimes at the same time, is 'how the fuck did I get here ?'.
A question pondered so many times I have all but given up even trying to think about it anymore.
The real danger time is when MT does not use me much or exerts less direct control over me, it does not take long for the old dominant me to poke it's head around the corner and sometimes even enter the room.
The most difficult time is if she lets me have a dominant lead in the bedroom, given an inch I will have taken a mile before I have even realised it. Of course I quickly get put back in line but it is a little like dropping a rock over the side of a cliff..............very hard to stop it once you have let go.
Of the two realms, I very much prefer the one where I am now. The past was fun, but this is more rewarding and of greater depth for me.
Friday 21 October 2011
MT's a hot bitch
Regular readers will be fully aware that I have been in a little bit of hot water with my darling owner recently. Also, that I have been trying to put some extra effort in to get back into her good books.
I am pleased to report that I have been making quite good progress. So much so that late this afternoon after I had finished work and preparing my evening meal, I was allowed to physically pleasure her in bed.
After just a few minutes of delivering loving strokes to MT's clitoris the following conversation transpired :
MT - You've been cutting chilli's haven't you?
Me - Yes Mistress but I washed my hands three times.
MT - Well three times wasn't enough evidently.
Me - Is it really hot?
MT - Yes it's fairly hot.
Me- (slave snigger's very quietly to self) Do you want me to stop Mistress ?
MT - I am not sure yet. I'll see how it goes...
Me - It is likely to get hotter the longer it goes on Mistress.
MT - (horny and hedonistic as per usual) Oh just carry on.
Me - Yes Mistress (slave carries on with amused swagger at inadvertently causing MT clitoral discomfort)
MT seemed to be wriggling around much more than usual, there was a definite hint of leg kicking and some cute sexy little girly squeaks and squeals which I am unused to hearing from her. It reminded me so much of the 'good old days. At an apt moment I hopefully (and I thought hilariously) asked her if she fancied trying me figging her, but sadly the reply was in the negative. However as I never thought I'd get near her clit with chilli, and she does like anal sex hope springs eternal. A slaveboy can dream.....
Service continued however until MT had stoically had her orgasms.
Slave is in reflective quiet mood and not mentioning his dinner, which was heavily laden with chilli's.
I am pleased to report that I have been making quite good progress. So much so that late this afternoon after I had finished work and preparing my evening meal, I was allowed to physically pleasure her in bed.
After just a few minutes of delivering loving strokes to MT's clitoris the following conversation transpired :
MT - You've been cutting chilli's haven't you?
Me - Yes Mistress but I washed my hands three times.
MT - Well three times wasn't enough evidently.
Me - Is it really hot?
MT - Yes it's fairly hot.
Me- (slave snigger's very quietly to self) Do you want me to stop Mistress ?
MT - I am not sure yet. I'll see how it goes...
Me - It is likely to get hotter the longer it goes on Mistress.
MT - (horny and hedonistic as per usual) Oh just carry on.
Me - Yes Mistress (slave carries on with amused swagger at inadvertently causing MT clitoral discomfort)
MT seemed to be wriggling around much more than usual, there was a definite hint of leg kicking and some cute sexy little girly squeaks and squeals which I am unused to hearing from her. It reminded me so much of the 'good old days. At an apt moment I hopefully (and I thought hilariously) asked her if she fancied trying me figging her, but sadly the reply was in the negative. However as I never thought I'd get near her clit with chilli, and she does like anal sex hope springs eternal. A slaveboy can dream.....
Service continued however until MT had stoically had her orgasms.
Slave is in reflective quiet mood and not mentioning his dinner, which was heavily laden with chilli's.
Thursday 20 October 2011
Bad slave behaviour
I find being property so difficult sometimes. It seems most of my issues occur when I am either tired, not feeling well or a combination of the two.
Most of the time things are fine, but occasionally it's not. When it goes awry It usually happens very quickly and often without warning. One minute all is calm and then something happens or something is said that causes me to fly off the handle.............and then everything goes kaput.
I hate it when this happens but it does seem to be a cycle that is proving impossible to break. At the moment MT is a bit miffed with me, but it's a relatively minor miffed, I think. Recognising I am in the shit is quite easy, it is trying to not get any deeper that is the problem and then the really hard bit, getting out of it and getting back to normal.
MT has a slow fuse, it used to be slower than it is now, but apparently I have used up most of her patience, so her fuse has got shorter. A miffed MT is not a good thing and I genuinely hate her being unhappy, I also hate myself being unhappy. Once miffed, it can take ages for MT to go back to normal with me, it can seem to take forever.
With me it is different, I have always had a very short fuse, but it has got longer since being with MT, but it is still a 'short' fuse by anyone else's definition. Once 'blow up' has occurred I usually calm fairly quickly and then want to be normal as soon as possible.
This then creates further 'issues', because I want to sort of get back to normal and put it out of the way I get frustrated that Mt is still fuming/annoyed/hurt and is unable to go back to normal in the sort of time frame that I would like. I then get frustrated, which leads to annoyed and then can blow again.
I guess I am part way there by recognising the problems but the cure is the bit that is proving difficult. A fit and well me that is fully rested is relatively easier to live with and my tolerances are much higher then.
I am hoping that my new work schedule which I am introducing on 1 st November will ease the tiredness aspect. Plus, I perhaps need to succumb to MT's continual bombardment of trying to get me to the Doctors to have a check up, just to make sure there is no underlying problem causing my tiredness and irritability.
Meanwhile, I am trying to get back into MT's good books, Hmmm ........not easy. But, I shall start now by going to the bedroom where she is having a rest and give her some hugs. I would offer some sexual service but I think she is not in the mood for that right now. Hugs would be safer, plus I shall try and not talk , that would also be safer.
Most of the time things are fine, but occasionally it's not. When it goes awry It usually happens very quickly and often without warning. One minute all is calm and then something happens or something is said that causes me to fly off the handle.............and then everything goes kaput.
I hate it when this happens but it does seem to be a cycle that is proving impossible to break. At the moment MT is a bit miffed with me, but it's a relatively minor miffed, I think. Recognising I am in the shit is quite easy, it is trying to not get any deeper that is the problem and then the really hard bit, getting out of it and getting back to normal.
MT has a slow fuse, it used to be slower than it is now, but apparently I have used up most of her patience, so her fuse has got shorter. A miffed MT is not a good thing and I genuinely hate her being unhappy, I also hate myself being unhappy. Once miffed, it can take ages for MT to go back to normal with me, it can seem to take forever.
With me it is different, I have always had a very short fuse, but it has got longer since being with MT, but it is still a 'short' fuse by anyone else's definition. Once 'blow up' has occurred I usually calm fairly quickly and then want to be normal as soon as possible.
This then creates further 'issues', because I want to sort of get back to normal and put it out of the way I get frustrated that Mt is still fuming/annoyed/hurt and is unable to go back to normal in the sort of time frame that I would like. I then get frustrated, which leads to annoyed and then can blow again.
I guess I am part way there by recognising the problems but the cure is the bit that is proving difficult. A fit and well me that is fully rested is relatively easier to live with and my tolerances are much higher then.
I am hoping that my new work schedule which I am introducing on 1 st November will ease the tiredness aspect. Plus, I perhaps need to succumb to MT's continual bombardment of trying to get me to the Doctors to have a check up, just to make sure there is no underlying problem causing my tiredness and irritability.
Meanwhile, I am trying to get back into MT's good books, Hmmm ........not easy. But, I shall start now by going to the bedroom where she is having a rest and give her some hugs. I would offer some sexual service but I think she is not in the mood for that right now. Hugs would be safer, plus I shall try and not talk , that would also be safer.
Tuesday 18 October 2011
What O/p is to me
When I refer to MT I often use the term 'Mistress' it is something that started not long after we first met and has continued to be used. Neither of us particularly like the name and have spent some time trying to find a title that sounds more appropriate for us. So far, we have yet to use anything else, apart from Owner.
Neither of us are really people that try to fit in with convention, we both just try to be ourselves and do not worry about protocol.When out in the BDSM and Femdom community we have often raised more than a few eyebrows by our lack of accepted protocols. Of course this has not bothered either of us, we do not feel any need to attain approval.
Recently on FL some people have said about their relationships ' There is more to us than just O/p' .
The comment struck me quite hard and I had to really try and contain myself from responding. I tried to fathom how they could possibly make this statement and yet claim to be in an O/p relationship. I also wondered if it was a miscommunication in terms of their phraseology, but after a while it became evident from subsequent postings that O/p was seen as 'part' of their relationship.
We are all different, diversity is good but I just can't get my head around the concept that O/p is just part of someones relationship. For MT and I, O/p IS our relationship.
Of course there are numerous facets which exist within our relationship, things such as love, romance, friendship, sex, companionship and providing care to mention just a few.
MT owns me, this is total, she controls everything, even the things where she devolves responsibility to me for. She decides what, when , where , how and with whom etc for a whole host of things.
In my opinion O/p encompasses everything, there is nothing outside of it, there can't be, because if there was something not included, then we could not possibly be in an O/p relationship.
When discussing this with MT she reminded me that a long time ago I used to sometimes say something like ' Oh that's not part of O/p ' usually when it was something I was none too happy about or had just not been thinking straight. Perhaps it is part of the transition process and becomes everything over time.
Sometimes I forget the changes I have undergone and how different my life has become. Reflecting on the past and comparing it to where I am now still sends a shock wave through me every now and then.
The journey is far from over and no doubt some routes will be re-travelled but I am looking forward to it, well most of it ,anyway......not the hurty bits..
Neither of us are really people that try to fit in with convention, we both just try to be ourselves and do not worry about protocol.When out in the BDSM and Femdom community we have often raised more than a few eyebrows by our lack of accepted protocols. Of course this has not bothered either of us, we do not feel any need to attain approval.
Recently on FL some people have said about their relationships ' There is more to us than just O/p' .
The comment struck me quite hard and I had to really try and contain myself from responding. I tried to fathom how they could possibly make this statement and yet claim to be in an O/p relationship. I also wondered if it was a miscommunication in terms of their phraseology, but after a while it became evident from subsequent postings that O/p was seen as 'part' of their relationship.
We are all different, diversity is good but I just can't get my head around the concept that O/p is just part of someones relationship. For MT and I, O/p IS our relationship.
Of course there are numerous facets which exist within our relationship, things such as love, romance, friendship, sex, companionship and providing care to mention just a few.
MT owns me, this is total, she controls everything, even the things where she devolves responsibility to me for. She decides what, when , where , how and with whom etc for a whole host of things.
In my opinion O/p encompasses everything, there is nothing outside of it, there can't be, because if there was something not included, then we could not possibly be in an O/p relationship.
When discussing this with MT she reminded me that a long time ago I used to sometimes say something like ' Oh that's not part of O/p ' usually when it was something I was none too happy about or had just not been thinking straight. Perhaps it is part of the transition process and becomes everything over time.
Sometimes I forget the changes I have undergone and how different my life has become. Reflecting on the past and comparing it to where I am now still sends a shock wave through me every now and then.
The journey is far from over and no doubt some routes will be re-travelled but I am looking forward to it, well most of it ,anyway......not the hurty bits..
Monday 17 October 2011
Unpredictable
Today has been an uneventful one but a pleasant and relaxing one.
I feel tired from our sexual antics and loss of sleep but of course 'happy'.
Tonight will probably be fairly quiet, MT is also tired Hehe.
That all said, I never know what will happen next, MT is very unpredictable, just when I am feeling safe, something often happens to keep me on my toes.
I like the unpredictable element of our relationship and lifestyle. It makes me feel 'alive'.
I feel tired from our sexual antics and loss of sleep but of course 'happy'.
Tonight will probably be fairly quiet, MT is also tired Hehe.
That all said, I never know what will happen next, MT is very unpredictable, just when I am feeling safe, something often happens to keep me on my toes.
I like the unpredictable element of our relationship and lifestyle. It makes me feel 'alive'.
Sunday 16 October 2011
Sex and more great sex
This morning started off the same way as last night finished.....Yipeeeeee.
I was allowed to provide full sexual service to MT and I made the most of it. I saved my orgasm for this mornings session as i wanted to be at my 'hungriest' (gone are the days of rampant youth) but I think I do OK for an oldie.
It was sheer bliss to have wild and relatively free ability to pleasure my Owner. Such occasions are rare and thus very special. I think it fair to say we both ended up a little sore yet very sated (well as sated as MT can be, it does not take long for her desire to rise again).
I was permitted a bike ride after shopping and I took advantage of the dry and sunny day to whizz around the country lanes on the as yet still un-named new bike.
One of the things I like about biking is the feeling of 'freedom' I get from being on a bike. Kind of ironic really that I get joy from the feeling of 'freedom' that riding gives me and yet get joy in my life by giving up my freedom to MT.
I be a strange creature.
I was allowed to provide full sexual service to MT and I made the most of it. I saved my orgasm for this mornings session as i wanted to be at my 'hungriest' (gone are the days of rampant youth) but I think I do OK for an oldie.
It was sheer bliss to have wild and relatively free ability to pleasure my Owner. Such occasions are rare and thus very special. I think it fair to say we both ended up a little sore yet very sated (well as sated as MT can be, it does not take long for her desire to rise again).
I was permitted a bike ride after shopping and I took advantage of the dry and sunny day to whizz around the country lanes on the as yet still un-named new bike.
One of the things I like about biking is the feeling of 'freedom' I get from being on a bike. Kind of ironic really that I get joy from the feeling of 'freedom' that riding gives me and yet get joy in my life by giving up my freedom to MT.
I be a strange creature.
Saturday 15 October 2011
Through the looking glass.
The following questions were raised by MT on FL and I thought I would post my replies on here and elaborate on them a little.
Q. Do you find the 'future not being your responsibility' liberating or difficult?
Ans.Both actually. On one hand not being responsible for my own destiny is exceptionally liberating, especially as I have been taken down roads that I never would have chosen to venture down left to my own devices.
On the other hand, it is very difficult, as from a very young age my whole life became my own responsibility and old habits die hard.
Q. Has this changed as time has gone on?
Ans. It has become a little easier. With time passing and experience gained of my Owner I am not so nervous about the future. While I trusted her from the outset, it was based on a less tested assessment than it is now, I now have substantial evidence that supports it.
Q. Was it part of the appeal of slavery for you?
Ans. Yes in some ways it was. In my 50 years pre-MT I had experienced quite a lot, and some of it would have been better not experienced. So having not made a huge success of my life in some areas, the opportunity for someone else to fashion it had some appeal. It was also quite exciting and I do like to live dangerously.
It was also probably the only way we would have had a chance of our relationship as well, MT on a lead was kinda unlikely.
Q.How much input do you get into the creation of your future?
Ans. I get loads of input, some asked for, some not. What I do not get is the final say. I give my opinion and/or my preferences or requests etc but at the end of the day MT makes the decisions.
Q.If you have any input do you see this as very different to having responsibility for it, or do you consider this semantics?
Ans.MT often makes me responsible for some things and when she does it is my responsibility to act on it according to her directions and achieve what she wants. It is my responsibility to achieve the desired result, I am always aware of the price of failure ;)
Q.Have you embraced the mind-set Schrodinger’s Cat speaks of in the quote, or is it (still?) alien to you?
Ans.Logically and fundamentally I have accepted it, it just becomes hard to live with some times on a practical level. Like most things, us humans seldom fight against anything we actually want.
Q.Any other thoughts?
Ans.Since being property I have undergone many transitions and I am sure I will continue to evolve as time passes. Personally, I often find O/p a little bit like 'two paces forward and one pace backwards' – and sometimes it is perhaps a bit more like 'no paces forward and rapid reverse'. I seem to make some progress, have a little relapse and then continue forward to my next fuck up, erm, I mean step backwards.
For me this is 'normal', yes I would love to be able to say it is always easy to have my future taken out of my hands , but the reality is that it easy sometimes, but sometimes it isn't.
One thing that came to mind after I had posted the above replies was basically 'if I had not done this, what would I be doing now and what would my future have been ' .
Things such as would I have continued on my previous dominant lifestyle ? would I have turned vanilla ? would I have ever become property to anyone else ?
I expect I would have remained dominant (I still am to everyone apart from MT), vanilla, definately not, I am far too kinky for that. Someone elses property, no I really do not think so. MT was a 'one off' I am pretty certain about that.
Had I not met MT and had her controlling me I would have probably added a few more relationships to my already long list,. Would have probably added hugely to my credit cards, squandered money on substances and alcohol and been grossly overweight and in line with past history would have probably been very unhappy. But on the other side of the coin I would have still had a virgin arse and not sucked cock and swallowed cum or had my arse fucked by a man or had various scars.
Interesting how life turns out isn't it ?
Q. Do you find the 'future not being your responsibility' liberating or difficult?
Ans.Both actually. On one hand not being responsible for my own destiny is exceptionally liberating, especially as I have been taken down roads that I never would have chosen to venture down left to my own devices.
On the other hand, it is very difficult, as from a very young age my whole life became my own responsibility and old habits die hard.
Q. Has this changed as time has gone on?
Ans. It has become a little easier. With time passing and experience gained of my Owner I am not so nervous about the future. While I trusted her from the outset, it was based on a less tested assessment than it is now, I now have substantial evidence that supports it.
Q. Was it part of the appeal of slavery for you?
Ans. Yes in some ways it was. In my 50 years pre-MT I had experienced quite a lot, and some of it would have been better not experienced. So having not made a huge success of my life in some areas, the opportunity for someone else to fashion it had some appeal. It was also quite exciting and I do like to live dangerously.
It was also probably the only way we would have had a chance of our relationship as well, MT on a lead was kinda unlikely.
Q.How much input do you get into the creation of your future?
Ans. I get loads of input, some asked for, some not. What I do not get is the final say. I give my opinion and/or my preferences or requests etc but at the end of the day MT makes the decisions.
Q.If you have any input do you see this as very different to having responsibility for it, or do you consider this semantics?
Ans.MT often makes me responsible for some things and when she does it is my responsibility to act on it according to her directions and achieve what she wants. It is my responsibility to achieve the desired result, I am always aware of the price of failure ;)
Q.Have you embraced the mind-set Schrodinger’s Cat speaks of in the quote, or is it (still?) alien to you?
Ans.Logically and fundamentally I have accepted it, it just becomes hard to live with some times on a practical level. Like most things, us humans seldom fight against anything we actually want.
Q.Any other thoughts?
Ans.Since being property I have undergone many transitions and I am sure I will continue to evolve as time passes. Personally, I often find O/p a little bit like 'two paces forward and one pace backwards' – and sometimes it is perhaps a bit more like 'no paces forward and rapid reverse'. I seem to make some progress, have a little relapse and then continue forward to my next fuck up, erm, I mean step backwards.
For me this is 'normal', yes I would love to be able to say it is always easy to have my future taken out of my hands , but the reality is that it easy sometimes, but sometimes it isn't.
One thing that came to mind after I had posted the above replies was basically 'if I had not done this, what would I be doing now and what would my future have been ' .
Things such as would I have continued on my previous dominant lifestyle ? would I have turned vanilla ? would I have ever become property to anyone else ?
I expect I would have remained dominant (I still am to everyone apart from MT), vanilla, definately not, I am far too kinky for that. Someone elses property, no I really do not think so. MT was a 'one off' I am pretty certain about that.
Had I not met MT and had her controlling me I would have probably added a few more relationships to my already long list,. Would have probably added hugely to my credit cards, squandered money on substances and alcohol and been grossly overweight and in line with past history would have probably been very unhappy. But on the other side of the coin I would have still had a virgin arse and not sucked cock and swallowed cum or had my arse fucked by a man or had various scars.
Interesting how life turns out isn't it ?
Thursday 13 October 2011
Escape..........well temporarily
It seems I must have a guardian angel that is sensitive to a slaves circumstances. I was off work this afternoon and MT uttered the dreaded words ' time for a snuggle'. Sounds kinda innocent, even romantic....and sometimes it is...but then sometimes it isn't. Being kept in a state of uncertainty is something MT enjoys doing to me.
Sometimes it is just that, calm, loving hugging and maybe a little nap. Other times (very often ) it means MT wants me to satisfy her sexually but there are 'other' times when it means I am for some hard use and I knew today was one of those days.
After having to display myself in my denim shorts I was told to take them off prettily, this translates to showing MT the rear view as I slowly peel my shorts down revealing my buttocks in a slow and 'allegedly' seductive manner. Then I was summoned into bed to hug. This was quickly followed by the order to pleasure her. This too was quickly followed by 'go and get the cane'. My pathetic plea was ignored of course and the cane was duly fetched. Because my knees have been playing up I was permitted to lay flat on the bed to receive my caning.
As far as MT's canings go it was fairly gentle, but that still translates to fucking painful to me. I could feel it really stinging and then she uttered the other dreaded words ' go and get the strap on'.
At this precise moment the telephone went and although MT missed the call she recognised the number and phoned back. Unfortunately, we had to rush out and pick someone up..........such a shame that the intended strap on was not utilised hehe.
BUT....... of course there is tonight and I will be lucky to get another interruption to save my still sore butt. Unless of course the slave guardian angel is looking in.......pleeease.
Sometimes it is just that, calm, loving hugging and maybe a little nap. Other times (very often ) it means MT wants me to satisfy her sexually but there are 'other' times when it means I am for some hard use and I knew today was one of those days.
After having to display myself in my denim shorts I was told to take them off prettily, this translates to showing MT the rear view as I slowly peel my shorts down revealing my buttocks in a slow and 'allegedly' seductive manner. Then I was summoned into bed to hug. This was quickly followed by the order to pleasure her. This too was quickly followed by 'go and get the cane'. My pathetic plea was ignored of course and the cane was duly fetched. Because my knees have been playing up I was permitted to lay flat on the bed to receive my caning.
As far as MT's canings go it was fairly gentle, but that still translates to fucking painful to me. I could feel it really stinging and then she uttered the other dreaded words ' go and get the strap on'.
At this precise moment the telephone went and although MT missed the call she recognised the number and phoned back. Unfortunately, we had to rush out and pick someone up..........such a shame that the intended strap on was not utilised hehe.
BUT....... of course there is tonight and I will be lucky to get another interruption to save my still sore butt. Unless of course the slave guardian angel is looking in.......pleeease.
Wednesday 12 October 2011
Caned
MT gave me six short but sharp whacks with the cane today at lunch time. I had just been pleasuring her with my fingers and given her an orgasm. Just prior to her orgasm, she asked me if some stripes with the cane might help me focus better as her slave. This took me a little by surprise due to the timing.
Of course I knew I would get them regardless of my answer, so there was little point in answering really, but when asked a question I must of course answer. So very begrudgingly I replied that it would, which was the truth. As much as I hate being caned it is a good reminder of my place and very quickly 'reminds' me of my status.
I was slightly late for work but was told to get the cane out and get up on my knees diagonally on the bed. It has to be diagonally to enable MT to get a good swing due to furniture. I was given six hard strokes, each of which really hurt and made me yell (yes I am a wimp).
MT admired her handywork and was pleased with the stripes she had left on my buttocks, then she told me to hurry off to work.
It has been a long time since she has caned me, I had 'almost' forgotten how much I hate the cane.
Of course I knew I would get them regardless of my answer, so there was little point in answering really, but when asked a question I must of course answer. So very begrudgingly I replied that it would, which was the truth. As much as I hate being caned it is a good reminder of my place and very quickly 'reminds' me of my status.
I was slightly late for work but was told to get the cane out and get up on my knees diagonally on the bed. It has to be diagonally to enable MT to get a good swing due to furniture. I was given six hard strokes, each of which really hurt and made me yell (yes I am a wimp).
MT admired her handywork and was pleased with the stripes she had left on my buttocks, then she told me to hurry off to work.
It has been a long time since she has caned me, I had 'almost' forgotten how much I hate the cane.
Monday 10 October 2011
Perspective
I think one of the things that can happen in any type of relationship is a difference of perspective. There are times when I think and feel that I am being a good obedient piece of property only to find out that MT is holding the opposite view. The same can happen in reverse, ie I think I am not being particulary good but MT thinks I have been (it seldom happens this way round, not sure if I could actually find an example).
Perhaps some of this comes down to perspective. Of course communication as always is a key, but sometimes I think I either do not hear what is required or perhaps misinterpret it or perhaps, subconsciously I turn a deaf ear to it.
It may be that sometimes I think 'Oh well that does not seem important I can do this instead'. Only to find out I am in deep trouble yet again. Many reading this will think the answer is simple (in theory it is...unless of course you are me). Listen to what you are told, seek clarification if unsure and then carry out said instruction .....simple. Well it would be , but somehow I either get distracted or stressed, or over enthusiastic or sidetracked or give something else instead because I think it is better or perhaps even easier or a combination of any of them.
I have never been a person to await instruction or direction, my life involved me directing, orchestrating and determining just about everything around me.In fairness, it also involved me usually not doing what other people wanted me to do.
Is it any wonder I find being property so difficult. Guess I shall jut have to keep trying harder, it's a tough world :)
Perhaps some of this comes down to perspective. Of course communication as always is a key, but sometimes I think I either do not hear what is required or perhaps misinterpret it or perhaps, subconsciously I turn a deaf ear to it.
It may be that sometimes I think 'Oh well that does not seem important I can do this instead'. Only to find out I am in deep trouble yet again. Many reading this will think the answer is simple (in theory it is...unless of course you are me). Listen to what you are told, seek clarification if unsure and then carry out said instruction .....simple. Well it would be , but somehow I either get distracted or stressed, or over enthusiastic or sidetracked or give something else instead because I think it is better or perhaps even easier or a combination of any of them.
I have never been a person to await instruction or direction, my life involved me directing, orchestrating and determining just about everything around me.In fairness, it also involved me usually not doing what other people wanted me to do.
Is it any wonder I find being property so difficult. Guess I shall jut have to keep trying harder, it's a tough world :)
Saturday 8 October 2011
Today's stuff
Noteworthy events of the day.
Went to work, came home on a break and was ordered to shag MT again ! and I was allowed another orgasm.
Went back to work, came home and hardly recognised MT as her hair had massively changed colour , I am told it is dark transluscent violety pink.
Had to give MT lots of hugs and cuddles as she was upset about something (not me for a change).
Went to work, came home on a break and was ordered to shag MT again ! and I was allowed another orgasm.
Went back to work, came home and hardly recognised MT as her hair had massively changed colour , I am told it is dark transluscent violety pink.
Had to give MT lots of hugs and cuddles as she was upset about something (not me for a change).
Friday 7 October 2011
Shagging
At lunch time I had a small gap in between jobs. So after a spot of lunch MT and I went for a relaxing lay down before I had to go back to work.
At first I was ordered to pleasure MT using my fingers and then she ordered me to shag her. Of course being an obedient slave I obeyed :)
It was so good to be able to serve her again in this way, it has been a while and i had really missed the closeness of it and of course the fantastic feelings.AND I was allowed an orgasm and what an orgasm it was :)
At first I was ordered to pleasure MT using my fingers and then she ordered me to shag her. Of course being an obedient slave I obeyed :)
It was so good to be able to serve her again in this way, it has been a while and i had really missed the closeness of it and of course the fantastic feelings.AND I was allowed an orgasm and what an orgasm it was :)
Wednesday 5 October 2011
Lesson learned
Having not been used by MT (apart from giving her pleasure) for about six weeks it came as a bit of a shock today when she used me.
I have not been a good slave recently, in my defence I would argue that I have been unwell, stressed and pretty much exhausted. That being said though, there was no excuse for some of my behaviour, there is a right way and a wrong way to deal with things and unfortunately I chose the wrong way. I let MT down and myself in the process and I am very sorry for that. In my doom and gloom I forgot who I was and what I am.
So following this, during the last few weeks MT has been giving me a very firm reminder about how much of a privilege it is to be her slave. This lesson has not taken the form of physical punishment, quite the contrary actually, I have been given no physical attention whatsoever. No pain, no humiliation, and even less direction than usual. She has also shown me less interest generally.
The choice of approach by MT was exceptionally successful, striking at the very core of our relationship. By not utilising me as she normally does, physically, in terms of service, or in other ways it left me feeling very empty and sort of lost. My whole sense of purpose seemed as though it had been removed and I hated it. I craved to be made to feel like her slave, to be utilised, used, or to be humiliated and forced to take whatever she wanted. Removal of these things left such a hole in me, I was very shocked that I missed it so much.
I could see she was obviously hurt and disappointed by my behaviour, more so than I had ever seen her before, and that hurt me much more than any beating she has ever given me. I deserved her lack of interest in me as her slave and I knew it, and that saddened me further.
I have been trying to show her that I am sorry and that I have learnt my lesson and that I am dedicated, and this morning she gave me a very firm physical reminder backed up with a verbal onslaught of what I must improve on and how she expects me to behave in the future, plus the warning of how further bad behaviour will be dealt with.
I was given a lot of leniency and was given a small quantity of lube before she gave me a very firm and lengthy arse fucking accompanied by much dialogue. I was of course very genuinely sorry and made numerous apologies and statement of intentions. Having not been fucked for weeks it was exceptionally painful, humiliating and I was left very very sore. The final humiliation was to have to perform my arse to mouth duties.
Notwithstanding the hard use, the pain and soreness I feel so happy to be back where I belong, back in my place and feeling complete again. The experience has been very traumatic, but has served as excellent incentive to endeavour to try harder and to not screw up again. The statement of intent I felt from MT today makes me feel like I've been allowed home.
I have not been a good slave recently, in my defence I would argue that I have been unwell, stressed and pretty much exhausted. That being said though, there was no excuse for some of my behaviour, there is a right way and a wrong way to deal with things and unfortunately I chose the wrong way. I let MT down and myself in the process and I am very sorry for that. In my doom and gloom I forgot who I was and what I am.
So following this, during the last few weeks MT has been giving me a very firm reminder about how much of a privilege it is to be her slave. This lesson has not taken the form of physical punishment, quite the contrary actually, I have been given no physical attention whatsoever. No pain, no humiliation, and even less direction than usual. She has also shown me less interest generally.
The choice of approach by MT was exceptionally successful, striking at the very core of our relationship. By not utilising me as she normally does, physically, in terms of service, or in other ways it left me feeling very empty and sort of lost. My whole sense of purpose seemed as though it had been removed and I hated it. I craved to be made to feel like her slave, to be utilised, used, or to be humiliated and forced to take whatever she wanted. Removal of these things left such a hole in me, I was very shocked that I missed it so much.
I could see she was obviously hurt and disappointed by my behaviour, more so than I had ever seen her before, and that hurt me much more than any beating she has ever given me. I deserved her lack of interest in me as her slave and I knew it, and that saddened me further.
I have been trying to show her that I am sorry and that I have learnt my lesson and that I am dedicated, and this morning she gave me a very firm physical reminder backed up with a verbal onslaught of what I must improve on and how she expects me to behave in the future, plus the warning of how further bad behaviour will be dealt with.
I was given a lot of leniency and was given a small quantity of lube before she gave me a very firm and lengthy arse fucking accompanied by much dialogue. I was of course very genuinely sorry and made numerous apologies and statement of intentions. Having not been fucked for weeks it was exceptionally painful, humiliating and I was left very very sore. The final humiliation was to have to perform my arse to mouth duties.
Notwithstanding the hard use, the pain and soreness I feel so happy to be back where I belong, back in my place and feeling complete again. The experience has been very traumatic, but has served as excellent incentive to endeavour to try harder and to not screw up again. The statement of intent I felt from MT today makes me feel like I've been allowed home.
Monday 3 October 2011
MT mutters and I oblige.
Today was a day off, yippee.
I had been expecting to spend the day at home with MT, but it did not happen.
A very tired half awake, half asleep MT muttered that she would love to be laying on the sand on a beach today. So, being a good slave I offered to take her to the beach for the day. The suggestion was readily received and off we drove to the beach. The weather was really mixed, some cloud, some sun, a shower and then nice hot sun. It has been so hot here, the hottest October for over a 100 years I think.
We had a really nice day and we both feel quite tired.
MT is still not using me (apart from providing her with orgasms). It is starting to feel quite the 'norm' at the moment. If the pain stuff returns it will be hard to adjust to again, Oh well, not much I can do about it.
I had been expecting to spend the day at home with MT, but it did not happen.
A very tired half awake, half asleep MT muttered that she would love to be laying on the sand on a beach today. So, being a good slave I offered to take her to the beach for the day. The suggestion was readily received and off we drove to the beach. The weather was really mixed, some cloud, some sun, a shower and then nice hot sun. It has been so hot here, the hottest October for over a 100 years I think.
We had a really nice day and we both feel quite tired.
MT is still not using me (apart from providing her with orgasms). It is starting to feel quite the 'norm' at the moment. If the pain stuff returns it will be hard to adjust to again, Oh well, not much I can do about it.
Sunday 2 October 2011
Foot service
Tonights duties were of the foot variety. Now feet are by far the least attractive part of the human anatomy in my humble opinion. I understand that for many it is a highly regarded area of the human body, but not for me.If people are into feet that is fine, it is just not my thing. But then of course, when you are property, 'everything' is your 'thing' if your Owner tells you it is.
So, proceedings commenced with nail varnish removal, pretty sparkly purple nail varnish in fact for those interested in the finer details. This was followed by exfoliation of MT's tender flesh while she laid on the bed. The final treatment was cleansing with wipes, job done. All that was left to do was make her a nice cup of tea, what a good slave I am.
MT was generous today, I was allowed a glass of wine with dinner (third day in a row), a long motorbike ride which was awesome and a roast beef dinner, so it was a good day.
So, proceedings commenced with nail varnish removal, pretty sparkly purple nail varnish in fact for those interested in the finer details. This was followed by exfoliation of MT's tender flesh while she laid on the bed. The final treatment was cleansing with wipes, job done. All that was left to do was make her a nice cup of tea, what a good slave I am.
MT was generous today, I was allowed a glass of wine with dinner (third day in a row), a long motorbike ride which was awesome and a roast beef dinner, so it was a good day.
Saturday 1 October 2011
Not logical
It has been a busy week for work and I am feeling extremely tired. MT has been taking it easy on me and I have only been used to give her pleasure, so none of that 'pain' stuff.
I used to find it quite difficult just giving MT sexual pleasure without any release for myself but over time I have not only become accustomed to it but actively enjoy it. Perhaps there is hope for me yet ! I enjoy making her orgasm, I find it very fulfilling and actually very hot.
I am still sort of missing the hard use but it is something I have to just accept, I don't like it when I get it but then yearn for it when I do not get it, kinda strange really.
I keep making the mistake of trying to apply 'logic' to my slavery. Logic has been a cornerstone of my life pre MT, since MT it has kind of gone out of the window.
I used to find it quite difficult just giving MT sexual pleasure without any release for myself but over time I have not only become accustomed to it but actively enjoy it. Perhaps there is hope for me yet ! I enjoy making her orgasm, I find it very fulfilling and actually very hot.
I am still sort of missing the hard use but it is something I have to just accept, I don't like it when I get it but then yearn for it when I do not get it, kinda strange really.
I keep making the mistake of trying to apply 'logic' to my slavery. Logic has been a cornerstone of my life pre MT, since MT it has kind of gone out of the window.
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