Reprieve

I suppose to outsiders being a slave might sound rather edgy and exciting and of course, in many ways it is.

There are , however, periods where life as a slave is not as many would imagine. Owner/property relationships I think tend to become more settled/normal as time passes. Just like any relationship type, the early days of the relationship in terms of physical activities can often become less regular. We tend to have mix of rather hectic times followed by little lulls.

MT has not been using me physically much lately, apart from me providing her with sexual pleasure. There have not been any pain inducing activities or humiliation for a few weeks.I have mixed reactions to such periods.

As I do not get off directly on pain there is an element of relief, but at the same time perhaps a feeling of being less of a slave because of that. The humiliation, well, I have confessed many times to being a humiliation junky and I really do miss it, but of course I do not miss the actual acts themselves that lead to the humiliation.

So overall if I am honest, I suppose I do miss not being utilised in these ways, it does make me feel perhaps slightly less of a slave. Of course the 'other' things are still in place and I get constant reminders of my status but for me, nothing really emphasises it like physical use does, it is just the way I am wired I suppose.