Birthday boy

Well I am 56 years old today, amazing how time flies.Strangely, I still feel like a teenager inside, must be being with MT. She presented me with a card this moring whch reads on the front "Na-Na Nanaa-Na You're Older Than ME-EE!"

MT brought me some lovely presents, including a dastardly pair of evil nipple clamps.

MT took great delight in fitting my presents and demonstrated how they can be tightened, they are so bloody painful and I pleaded for mercy. Of course I didn't get any, but I never expected to. With the clamps firmly in place the rest of the birthday celebrations followed.

First I was fitted with the large njoy. Then  I was then unceremoniously put across MT's knee  for the customary birthday spanking with the hated heavy wooden paddle, one blow  for each year plus 'one to grow on'.

It has been a while since I have been spanked and my buttocks were particularly tender. The nipple clamps kept rubbing against the bed with each blow and my cheeks clamped together with each blow which made the plug hurt much much more. MT also kept tugging at the strings of the nipple clamps as she went, I believe she had them in her teeth at one point. As is MT's birthday custom I had to count the blows and thank her for each one. She wallops the hell out of me with that thing and I pleaded and kicked and shrieked. I am told it was highly entertaining.

When she removed the plug  I (stupidly) felt relief -ha! You'd think I would have learned better by now wouldn't you? The next thing I know a fucking big hard red dildo was being rammed up my poor arse and I was babbling and pleading. Unfortunately my arse clamped shut. I wasn't doing it on purpose, it was an involuntary reaction. MT finds this both amusing and sees it as disobeience, so for a while she crooned at me about this. It may sound sweet but it's more like a cat playing with a mouse. She said "oh baby, do you really think if I decide this is going in your arse you can stop me. Keep whimpernig though, it's sweet - even if it is futile" and on the word 'futile' she slammed the thing mercilessly up my arse. I screamed as I bucked forward yanking the nipple clamps as I went.

She then mercilessly rammed me for what felt like forever, yanking on the strings of the nipple clamps as she went. Groan. 

She evenually finished, replaced the  njoy and I was forced onto my back. MT then proceeded to whip my clamped nipples, my cock, balls, thighs, chest, and stomach with what she termed 'a sharp flogger'. I have never seen this item before. To say it was painful would be far too much of an understatement.  She was landing the blows very fast, using her skill to weave between her various targets, so I was jumping around all over the place, pleading and shrieking and begging. She also used the clamps on my cock and balls at one point. It was excruciatingly  painful. When she took the clamps off it was unbearable.

I thought 'my celebrations' were finished and started to breathe a little easier.....until MT ordered me to go and fetch the strap-on. I was then forcefully fucked on my side while MT had several very energetic orgasms. She finished off my flipping me on my stomach and riding me until she finished, before bounding up to dash off to where she wanted to be.

I was then left recovering in the bedroom and told to have her tea ready when she got back - happy birthday to me!

Tonight she is cooking me a special meal, which is really lovely of her, then we will watch a movie together. I am very bruised and sore in too many places to count.

I said to her as she was getting up that she never looks happier than when she's being sadistic. She glows and laughs and claps and has this look of pure glee. At least I know I provide good service by being her victim property ;)

Anniversary

The day finally arrived after much anticipation and trepidation. As usual, it was lovely to wake up next to MT but of course it was extra special today being as it was our 5th anniversary of her owning me.

Early this morning I was told to sit up in bed, I was anticipating some painful act, but instead was given a bow wrapped gift from MT. Inside the very nice box was a really lovely stainless steel bracelet. MT said that I am to wear it in place of my collar, when I am unable to wear my collar. It was a really nice surprise and I really like it a lot, it is something I would have chosen myself. And it's nice to have something to wear as a substitue collar as I would like to wear mine more often.

I then gave MT the bespoke anniversary card I had designed via Moonpig, it was of course of 'appropriate design' for the occasion ;) As is customary on our anniversary, I then presented her with my gift to her. The 'customary' part being, that I give her something she can inflict pain on me with.

This year, I chose something which she had previously expressed an interest in, a short synthetic cane. So I presented her with a short (60cm) 6 mm thick synthetic cane with a lambskin handle. I deliberately chose the thinner diameter as we have quite a few thicker canes and the thinner ones provide a greater sting, require less effort to wield and break my skin easier. Just the things she likes. I also gave her a voucher for money toward her planned driving lessons. This is kind of 'silly' as she could use the money anyway, but she keeps different budgets so it's effectively put some extra funds into that account (and under the present status of the funds I'm allowed to do that). Her driving plans are her main agenda at present that I know of. Though I'm quite sure that as usual she's up to a lot more of which I have no idea.....

After my doctor's appointment ( very useful, more medication including proper painkillers) it was time to start our day together at home. I was permitted the luxury of an iced Belgian bun filled with fresh cream, OMG it was the best one I have ever tasted. MT told me afterwards that it was 'before-care'. I cooked MT her poached eggs and made her Earl Grey tea as usual. Then it was off to the bedroom.

After a thorough inspection of her property and associated verbal report, which was favourable, but not without some directions for the future, it was time to be test her new toy.

After some very thorough 'testing' that went on for an extremely long time and covered a great deal of my body, and after much pillow biting, screaming and shouting, not to mention pleading, the synthetic cane was finally put to one side. The next item on Her agenda was 'marking' of the 5 years on my right hip.

The pain was almost unbelievable (she can do it less painfully but frequently elects not to), the overwriting was incredibly painful and at one point I would have given anything to have had it stopped.....but of course that is not an option. The mark is to become permanent, so this is sort of the initial cut. It will be re-opened as many times as required to form a permanent scar. MT of course enjoyed sucking at my blood, vigorously.  After she had finished she cuddled me and we both fell asleep.

It has been a wonderful day and it is not even 6-00 pm yet,so there is plenty of time left to enjoy the rest of the evening. I'm also very aware that MT has not finished with tormenting my body for the day, and she's usually much more intense at night time....

Being property is by far the hardest thing I have ever done, but it also happens to be the best thing I have ever done. At times I find it so difficult, but the rewards are sublime and I would not swap it for anything.

I love MT and I really love our relationship. It has it's ups and downs, but then life is like that, and there are always far more ups than downs. I am very fortunate to have found my place in life. I am Hers.

Impending Anniversary

Traditionally our anniversary, the day MT collared me and officially made me her property, is a painful day. Of course it is also a wonderful celebration of our relationship. There is the bit though where MT reminds me that I am ' Hers To Do With As She Will'.

As most of you are aware, MT is a bit of a sadist and our anniversary is often a time for MT to revel in her 'art'. After MT collared me I was chained to a round table and given the soundest of beatings. I was left in no uncertainty about my status and after the beating I was mercilessly shafted by her and cut. I remember it as if it were only yesterday, mostly as I was bruised for over a month. She took me out to BDSM club the next night and people foolishly thought you couldn't possibly beat anyone on top of such bruising and cuts. Yeah, right.

So, whilst I am happy it is our 5th anniversary on Thursday, I am also trying to mentally prepare myself for the anticipated 'celebrations'. MT has taunted me a little with what may lie ahead. Surprise, surprise there is likely to be long and hard beatings of my body with a range of implements being used. Then when I am red and very sore and probably sniffling, I will be re-introduced to my least favourite item, the big black strap on.

The big black strap on is one of the hardest thing I have to endure and always breaks me down. I dread it and hate it. There is nothing that breaks me like this does. It feels like I am being split into two, I always tear and the pain lasts sometimes for weeks. I am allowed the privilege of lube though, but there is not enough lube in the world to make it bearable. It is huge and very hard.

Usually, after the sound beating and the fucking I am left feeling totally exhausted and totally used.

This 'reminder' has become a tradition, it is also a celebration of our relationship. In the evening we will celebrate in a more gentle fashion and hopefully, when we go to bed I will not be used again.

Thinking hurts.

For a considerable time, seems like for ever actually, I have been pondering some thoughts about the label  'Owner/ property relationships' . In the FL O/p group, for the sake of commonality, we define our group being for co-resident, 24/7, TPE, consensual non-consent slaves and owners. In principle, I have no real issue with this, but I do feel it leaves a lot of room for not only interpretation but also in relation to the extent of the power exchange.

Ever a person who is a walking contradiction, I dislike labels but also feel there needs to be a common understanding for the sake of discourse, and perhaps one label may not be sufficient to cover such a wide range. In the O/p group there are a very diverse range of O/p relationships. This is of course absolutely fine, as diversity is a good thing, we are all individuals and each of our relationships are unique to ourselves. But I do sometimes wonder if Owner/ property is actually the best label.

For a start, a person can own something but have limited or no control over it. The 'property' may be at the same location but there may be limited activity or no activity at all in relation to the power exchange. I keep asking myself different questions, but there is no absolute. Things like, if a person tells another they want to be their property and the other person accepts, if the owner never or rarely exerts any power over their property is an O/p relationship? Under the group definition as long as they were co-resident, 24/7 and agreed to the TPE, then it would fit, but would it actually be a power exchange relationship in anything other than name?

If a person is permitted a wide range of free will, are they in a TPE relationship? Or should it perhaps more accurately be described as a partial power exchange relationship?

If an owner, only ever requires their property to do things they either want to do or are comfortable with is this a TPE relationship ? Is it sufficient for there to be just the intent rather than the actual operation of the TPE?

Basically, if I was permitted to pretty much do as I please, to what extent would I be property, even if my owner was happy for this? Conversely, if a property does not do as it is told is it still in an O/p relationship or does it depend on the outcome eg whether they are either eventually forced into doing it or have to be disciplined for non compliance and then made to do it?

There are those who believe they are slaves even though they have no Master/ Mistress or anyone else influencing their lives, so how does this differ to property that might not be actively required to actually yield any control?

It is not a case of someone being slavier than someone else, it is more a case of defining the differences. It certainly seems to me that O/p has gone the same way as the original M/s and D/s definitions, ie they are now used on the internet to mean whatever anyone wants them to mean or are applied willy nilly by people, particularly the wannabees.

What seems to me to be a constant in any of the relationship types is the power exchange, at one end of the scale there is 'time' and 'extent' limited power exchange, such as a 'scene' through to relationships where there is no limit on time or extent of the power exchange.

The other factor which perhaps may influence the differences might be the extent of how much and how often a property is utilised against what would have been considered to be their chosen activities/ behaviours etc eg how much control is actually active, as opposed to a more passive type of PE.

I would think there might be some significant differences between the stresses, reactions, problems and physical strains placed on a property who is actively utilised and one in a more passive/less active role. If only 10% of time is spent on doing things a person might not like/ enjoy/ find difficult etc it might be easier to deal with the O/p relationship as opposed to someone who has greater percentage usage. Is that relevant?

Maybe, the key lies in defining the extent of the power exchange rather than the persons involved. If this was the case then at one end of the scale would be partial power exchange and at the other TPE where there is no limits on time, extent of the power exchange ie no limits and the power exchange is always active both in a physical and psychological context.

So I've raised myself a lot of questions, but come to no conclusions.