Traditionally our anniversary, the day MT collared me and officially made me her property, is a painful day. Of course it is also a wonderful celebration of our relationship. There is the bit though where MT reminds me that I am ' Hers To Do With As She Will'.
As most of you are aware, MT is a bit of a sadist and our anniversary is often a time for MT to revel in her 'art'. After MT collared me I was chained to a round table and given the soundest of beatings. I was left in no uncertainty about my status and after the beating I was mercilessly shafted by her and cut. I remember it as if it were only yesterday, mostly as I was bruised for over a month. She took me out to BDSM club the next night and people foolishly thought you couldn't possibly beat anyone on top of such bruising and cuts. Yeah, right.
So, whilst I am happy it is our 5th anniversary on Thursday, I am also trying to mentally prepare myself for the anticipated 'celebrations'. MT has taunted me a little with what may lie ahead. Surprise, surprise there is likely to be long and hard beatings of my body with a range of implements being used. Then when I am red and very sore and probably sniffling, I will be re-introduced to my least favourite item, the big black strap on.
The big black strap on is one of the hardest thing I have to endure and always breaks me down. I dread it and hate it. There is nothing that breaks me like this does. It feels like I am being split into two, I always tear and the pain lasts sometimes for weeks. I am allowed the privilege of lube though, but there is not enough lube in the world to make it bearable. It is huge and very hard.
Usually, after the sound beating and the fucking I am left feeling totally exhausted and totally used.
This 'reminder' has become a tradition, it is also a celebration of our relationship. In the evening we will celebrate in a more gentle fashion and hopefully, when we go to bed I will not be used again.
Showing posts with label romance. Show all posts
Showing posts with label romance. Show all posts
Tuesday, 13 December 2011
Monday, 1 August 2011
Happy Anniversary
The last 48 hours have been frantic to say the least but we have done so much, now I feel totally knackered.
Sunday we went to the BDSM event, it was a hot sunny day so we were able to enjoy the outside play areas as well as the inside ones. MT looked awesome as usual and I wore my favourite outfit ie the gladiator one. I spent a lot of the time with it off though as MT does not like it getting in the way of her hurty things.
My first 'little' beating was over a kneeling bench, strapped around the chest and arms to avoid movement of course. I requested a warm up but was denied...the first sign it was going to be a hard day. The sjambok is not a nice weapon, especially when hit with it cold and relentlessly. It was very hard to take it and MT welted my buttocks and thighs with it so I was covered in harsh stripes and bruises.. I was relieved when it was over, but then of course other MT 'toys' were used.
After a long break and some lunch MT shackled my wrists with leather cuffs and then chained my hands high up on a large metal frame in the outside area. The dreaded sjambok was then used again, this time with more force and fuck did it hurt. Most of the blows were to my buttocks and thighs, but she also delivered them to my upper arms and calves. At one point MT had to stop hitting the right thigh as it had a nasty looking swelling on it. The sjambok marks instantly and I could see the thigh marks literally on impact.
During a very fast sjambok 'attack' I pulled and twisted so much I broke the chains that had been securing me to the frame...of course I got a bollocking for that as well. MT pointed out that the chians had been doubled through, but I didn't mean to break them. Then there was the tyburn, my back, chest, thighs, and sides were so sore and of course I begged for mercy on numerous occasions and made all sorts of squealy type noises and grunts. Yes there were lots of grunts. Every now and then MT would put down the sjambok or tyburn and start hitting me with her hands, mostly on my face or hips. That hurt too. MT was in one of her more brutal sadistic moods, and obviously enjoying herself intensely.
After coffee and cake (MT 'needed' cake as apparently beating me senseless is tiring) off we went to the medical play area with MT's sharp things. I am not sure if it was my cries or the sight of my blood from the six or so cut marks MT was carving into my flesh that scared off the people eating chips in the area. Or perhaps it was the sight of MT feasting and orgasming as she drank lots of my blood? Hard to tell really.
A very nice cross dresser who we had met a couple of years ago witnessed our little escapade however and found it very erotic. It came as not too much of a surprise when MT informed me that I would be sucking his cock in a short while. So after a relax and a drink we went off to the jacuzzi area and on some adjacent beds and I performed as required by MT, with MT pushing my head down. MT made her usual delicate commentary during this, just pointing out to me that other people were watching me suck cock and what a disgrace I looked etc. Groan.
We decided to leave a little earlier so we could enjoy today better ie our five year anniversary. It was a painful drive home my thighs and buttocks were so sore. After a quick snack it was off to bed. Although both tired we had especially erotic sex incorporating some little rituals of MT's, and I was allowed to orgasm. In the morning, MT looked at my body which is covered in welts and cuts and bruises, growled, and ordered me to get the strap on out. My very painful cheeks were parted and she gave me a thorough shafting..... then I gave her an anniversary card, and she gave one to me, and we spent a lovely day in Norwich to celebrate. We had numerous coffees, lunch, milk shakes and cake and I bought MT a fabulous dress which she looks stunning in.
It has been great having two fantastic days and nights together, love, sex, bdsm, food, more sex etc. What more could a person want?
Sunday we went to the BDSM event, it was a hot sunny day so we were able to enjoy the outside play areas as well as the inside ones. MT looked awesome as usual and I wore my favourite outfit ie the gladiator one. I spent a lot of the time with it off though as MT does not like it getting in the way of her hurty things.
My first 'little' beating was over a kneeling bench, strapped around the chest and arms to avoid movement of course. I requested a warm up but was denied...the first sign it was going to be a hard day. The sjambok is not a nice weapon, especially when hit with it cold and relentlessly. It was very hard to take it and MT welted my buttocks and thighs with it so I was covered in harsh stripes and bruises.. I was relieved when it was over, but then of course other MT 'toys' were used.
After a long break and some lunch MT shackled my wrists with leather cuffs and then chained my hands high up on a large metal frame in the outside area. The dreaded sjambok was then used again, this time with more force and fuck did it hurt. Most of the blows were to my buttocks and thighs, but she also delivered them to my upper arms and calves. At one point MT had to stop hitting the right thigh as it had a nasty looking swelling on it. The sjambok marks instantly and I could see the thigh marks literally on impact.
During a very fast sjambok 'attack' I pulled and twisted so much I broke the chains that had been securing me to the frame...of course I got a bollocking for that as well. MT pointed out that the chians had been doubled through, but I didn't mean to break them. Then there was the tyburn, my back, chest, thighs, and sides were so sore and of course I begged for mercy on numerous occasions and made all sorts of squealy type noises and grunts. Yes there were lots of grunts. Every now and then MT would put down the sjambok or tyburn and start hitting me with her hands, mostly on my face or hips. That hurt too. MT was in one of her more brutal sadistic moods, and obviously enjoying herself intensely.
After coffee and cake (MT 'needed' cake as apparently beating me senseless is tiring) off we went to the medical play area with MT's sharp things. I am not sure if it was my cries or the sight of my blood from the six or so cut marks MT was carving into my flesh that scared off the people eating chips in the area. Or perhaps it was the sight of MT feasting and orgasming as she drank lots of my blood? Hard to tell really.
A very nice cross dresser who we had met a couple of years ago witnessed our little escapade however and found it very erotic. It came as not too much of a surprise when MT informed me that I would be sucking his cock in a short while. So after a relax and a drink we went off to the jacuzzi area and on some adjacent beds and I performed as required by MT, with MT pushing my head down. MT made her usual delicate commentary during this, just pointing out to me that other people were watching me suck cock and what a disgrace I looked etc. Groan.
We decided to leave a little earlier so we could enjoy today better ie our five year anniversary. It was a painful drive home my thighs and buttocks were so sore. After a quick snack it was off to bed. Although both tired we had especially erotic sex incorporating some little rituals of MT's, and I was allowed to orgasm. In the morning, MT looked at my body which is covered in welts and cuts and bruises, growled, and ordered me to get the strap on out. My very painful cheeks were parted and she gave me a thorough shafting..... then I gave her an anniversary card, and she gave one to me, and we spent a lovely day in Norwich to celebrate. We had numerous coffees, lunch, milk shakes and cake and I bought MT a fabulous dress which she looks stunning in.
It has been great having two fantastic days and nights together, love, sex, bdsm, food, more sex etc. What more could a person want?
Tuesday, 15 February 2011
Romance - MT style.
Valentines Day at bedtime was so romantic. MT and I snuggled up close and she told me how much she would love to see me raped - who said 'romance is dead'? Now I did not think think this 'sexy' conversation was going to get too much darker, but wrong again. I should know by now to never underestimate my owner.
My darling valentine proceeded to romantically tell me how much she wants to see both my arse and my mouth simultaneously raped by multiple men. Raped so both my 'rape holes' are left 'cock bruised and bleeding' (MT has such a delicate way with words). Now I really like fantasy sex talk, it can be really hot. The problem is, I know only too well that this is something MT genuinely wants to have done to me. And, when MT decides she wants to see something, then she always makes sure she gets to see it.
At moments like this I have two opposing reactions, as I (now) get off on humiliation, the fantasy of being humiliated is arousing, but not the methodology and certainly not the reality, especially as I know that in our relationship fantasy does usually lead to reality. MT gets what she wants.
There have been countless times MT has remarked about what she would like to do/ us to do/ do to me/ have done to me etc, and in the very early days of our O/p I thought it was purely head fuck/ wank fodder, then I learned the very hard way that it wasn't. As time has gone by, I have tended to adopt the principle that anything and everything could be on the cards at any moment, so while some things may remain fantasy, there is a bloody good chance they won't. I have also accidentally thrown myself under the bus on a few occasions. During 'fantasy' talk, being a dominant person with a primarily dominant sexual drive, I have mooted extra touches to MT's perversions which would enhance matters. It is like for a brief second I am her co-conspirator plotting the downfall of some third party rather than it being about me. In the heat of the moment, it has seemed like a good idea, and as it has been fantasy degradation stuff early on I never took it seriously. Unfortunately, on a few occasions MT has pounced on some concept, usually added some even worse perversions and then told me she will actually do (insert perversions) when she can arrange it/ has the opportunity. Or she just does it without warning. You know, 'casually'.
I must learn to keep my mouth shut more, (especially when I have a hard on).
I understand there will be some people who would hold the opinion that I actually want some of the acts forced onto me, because the act itself is something I want. This could not be further from the truth, but it is hard to explain. It is the act of being totally humiliated that is the driver, absolutely not whatever the actual act is. The act has to be something I really intensely do not want to have the impact of being so humiliating. I would get nothing whatsoever out of being forced to do something I internally desired in any way, it would just be pointless. Overall, of course I have to do whatever MT wants me to do, but the key thing with MT usually is ' if I like something, there is less chance of me getting it ' unless it is something she wants purely for herself, or she decides to give me a treat, which does happen sometimes.
There are still many things I would really hate to do, MT has mooted some of them and they are horrifying to me, some because of the physical pain element and others because of the sheer and total humiliation and degradation of them. I also know, that within that pretty head of hers lies a myriad of other things not mentioned or hinted at that will no doubt come to pass in the fullness of time. This small element of our O/p, being kept in a constant state of fear and trepidation, is an integral part of our life and it is something I now perversely value. It never lets me forget what she's capable of. I want to give my all in every possible way to MT, by being pushed into places I do not want to go and having to do things totally against what my own fundamental desires are. It makes her happy and it makes me very aware that I am owned.
My darling valentine proceeded to romantically tell me how much she wants to see both my arse and my mouth simultaneously raped by multiple men. Raped so both my 'rape holes' are left 'cock bruised and bleeding' (MT has such a delicate way with words). Now I really like fantasy sex talk, it can be really hot. The problem is, I know only too well that this is something MT genuinely wants to have done to me. And, when MT decides she wants to see something, then she always makes sure she gets to see it.
At moments like this I have two opposing reactions, as I (now) get off on humiliation, the fantasy of being humiliated is arousing, but not the methodology and certainly not the reality, especially as I know that in our relationship fantasy does usually lead to reality. MT gets what she wants.
There have been countless times MT has remarked about what she would like to do/ us to do/ do to me/ have done to me etc, and in the very early days of our O/p I thought it was purely head fuck/ wank fodder, then I learned the very hard way that it wasn't. As time has gone by, I have tended to adopt the principle that anything and everything could be on the cards at any moment, so while some things may remain fantasy, there is a bloody good chance they won't. I have also accidentally thrown myself under the bus on a few occasions. During 'fantasy' talk, being a dominant person with a primarily dominant sexual drive, I have mooted extra touches to MT's perversions which would enhance matters. It is like for a brief second I am her co-conspirator plotting the downfall of some third party rather than it being about me. In the heat of the moment, it has seemed like a good idea, and as it has been fantasy degradation stuff early on I never took it seriously. Unfortunately, on a few occasions MT has pounced on some concept, usually added some even worse perversions and then told me she will actually do (insert perversions) when she can arrange it/ has the opportunity. Or she just does it without warning. You know, 'casually'.
I must learn to keep my mouth shut more, (especially when I have a hard on).
I understand there will be some people who would hold the opinion that I actually want some of the acts forced onto me, because the act itself is something I want. This could not be further from the truth, but it is hard to explain. It is the act of being totally humiliated that is the driver, absolutely not whatever the actual act is. The act has to be something I really intensely do not want to have the impact of being so humiliating. I would get nothing whatsoever out of being forced to do something I internally desired in any way, it would just be pointless. Overall, of course I have to do whatever MT wants me to do, but the key thing with MT usually is ' if I like something, there is less chance of me getting it ' unless it is something she wants purely for herself, or she decides to give me a treat, which does happen sometimes.
There are still many things I would really hate to do, MT has mooted some of them and they are horrifying to me, some because of the physical pain element and others because of the sheer and total humiliation and degradation of them. I also know, that within that pretty head of hers lies a myriad of other things not mentioned or hinted at that will no doubt come to pass in the fullness of time. This small element of our O/p, being kept in a constant state of fear and trepidation, is an integral part of our life and it is something I now perversely value. It never lets me forget what she's capable of. I want to give my all in every possible way to MT, by being pushed into places I do not want to go and having to do things totally against what my own fundamental desires are. It makes her happy and it makes me very aware that I am owned.
Monday, 14 February 2011
My Darling Valentine
Well, Valentines Day, my dreaded day of the year........well it has been so much better this year and I feel so relieved about it :). I think there were a number of factors that have made it better. MT being so unwell, me being busy looking after her, and being busy with work, my slavery to MT (I wanted to be better for her benefit, as much, if not more than mine as the 'mood' really adversely affected everyone around me). Also I think this blog helped, in two main ways, firstly, the cathartic process, starting it early helped ie well before V-Day and the kind and helpful support I got from people who posted on the blog or messaged me, a very big thank you to each of you.
Of course, a few little bits have drifted into the cerebral area (well there is a lot of space there) but nothing too bad and more importantly, it has not affected my mood or behaviour.
MT and I have had a quiet day, but a nice day none the less, MT got me a great personal card from Moonpig, (internet shopping is really convenient when you can't get out). I was of course a good romantic slave and purchased a card, chocolates and flowers, boring and typical, but well liked and received by MT which is what matters. I had hoped to take her out for a romantic lunch, but her health and other events conspired against us. On a positive side, it meant I saved a few bob, Scrooge had nothing on me.
Unfortunately, I was unfaithful today, MT gave me permission to take Cati out for a V-Day treat and I rode her hard, very hard. She is such a great ride, she likes it hard and fast just like me. We did not care that everyone could hear us or the fact they could see us both in action. It is V-Day after all, a day for passion and romance and to cast aside caution and go for your true love. We twisted, turned, and I made her howl like only she can, I love the throaty sound of her as she reaches her peak.
We got back home with smiles on both our faces, we were both exhausted but both fulfilled. I gently caressed her damp body and dried her before snuggling her up into bed. Love is a many splendoured thing.
MT was pleased I had a good ride, she had said ' I am not well, you might as well go out with Cati and enjoy yourself ' so I did. I do feel a little guilty about it now, now that the pleasure has worn off a little. But MT did suggest it, being poly has some advantages.
Cati - Full Body Exposure
Close Up: Cati's Rear End...God, She's Fucking Hot.
Of course, a few little bits have drifted into the cerebral area (well there is a lot of space there) but nothing too bad and more importantly, it has not affected my mood or behaviour.
MT and I have had a quiet day, but a nice day none the less, MT got me a great personal card from Moonpig, (internet shopping is really convenient when you can't get out). I was of course a good romantic slave and purchased a card, chocolates and flowers, boring and typical, but well liked and received by MT which is what matters. I had hoped to take her out for a romantic lunch, but her health and other events conspired against us. On a positive side, it meant I saved a few bob, Scrooge had nothing on me.
Unfortunately, I was unfaithful today, MT gave me permission to take Cati out for a V-Day treat and I rode her hard, very hard. She is such a great ride, she likes it hard and fast just like me. We did not care that everyone could hear us or the fact they could see us both in action. It is V-Day after all, a day for passion and romance and to cast aside caution and go for your true love. We twisted, turned, and I made her howl like only she can, I love the throaty sound of her as she reaches her peak.
We got back home with smiles on both our faces, we were both exhausted but both fulfilled. I gently caressed her damp body and dried her before snuggling her up into bed. Love is a many splendoured thing.
MT was pleased I had a good ride, she had said ' I am not well, you might as well go out with Cati and enjoy yourself ' so I did. I do feel a little guilty about it now, now that the pleasure has worn off a little. But MT did suggest it, being poly has some advantages.
Warning: Adult photographic material.
Cati - Full Body Exposure
Close Up: Cati's Rear End...God, She's Fucking Hot.
Friday, 31 December 2010
New Years Eve Degenerations
MT is shagging me to death. Sexual service last night was energetic, no that's a massive understatement, it was bloody exhausting. Nearly 1-00 am, yet again, before I was permitted to 'stand down', if you will excuse the pun.
Tonight, I have been informed is to be a night of service to MT, dress code informal, collar and plug - how twee. Must remember to turn the heating up higher although it is to be expected the 'cheeks' may get warmed, God I hate the Tyburn, it's definitely the stupidest present I ever gave her.
We are however, going to commence the evening with a cosy meal, wine and candles. See slavery can be romantic as well. I do not expect I will be allowed much wine, as She does not like me to have any anaesthetic before or during physical use. Maybe I could sneak a couple of painkillers down just to take the edge off, OK I know that's cheating, the punishment would be very harsh so I guess that option's out damn it..
MT insists I to prepare myself for her. My head and face are freshly shaven, as are my chest, buttocks and 'boy bits', (I cant believe I just said that). Even though we have been together for over 4 years I still get nervous when we plan such time together. I can feel my heart beating a bit faster and my breath getting deeper. It always feels like this. I should be used to it,
I feel excited, yet scared, I always do. I spent 22 years of my life as a Fire Fighter/Senior Officer and came close to death on numerous occasions, but this is so much more intense. Perhaps the pre-meditation of it adds to the angst.
Time to go, oh dear.
Happy New Year
Tonight, I have been informed is to be a night of service to MT, dress code informal, collar and plug - how twee. Must remember to turn the heating up higher although it is to be expected the 'cheeks' may get warmed, God I hate the Tyburn, it's definitely the stupidest present I ever gave her.
We are however, going to commence the evening with a cosy meal, wine and candles. See slavery can be romantic as well. I do not expect I will be allowed much wine, as She does not like me to have any anaesthetic before or during physical use. Maybe I could sneak a couple of painkillers down just to take the edge off, OK I know that's cheating, the punishment would be very harsh so I guess that option's out damn it..
MT insists I to prepare myself for her. My head and face are freshly shaven, as are my chest, buttocks and 'boy bits', (I cant believe I just said that). Even though we have been together for over 4 years I still get nervous when we plan such time together. I can feel my heart beating a bit faster and my breath getting deeper. It always feels like this. I should be used to it,
I feel excited, yet scared, I always do. I spent 22 years of my life as a Fire Fighter/Senior Officer and came close to death on numerous occasions, but this is so much more intense. Perhaps the pre-meditation of it adds to the angst.
Time to go, oh dear.
Happy New Year
Tuesday, 28 December 2010
Choking Owner
Last night I nearly caused MT to choke - not deliberately of course. Really. We were watching 'The Deer Hunter' which is one of my favourite films which shockingly MT had never seen. A scene near the beginning was on with a woman wearing a frilly lacy white wedding dress and veil. I said "If we get married you could wear a dress like that at our wedding".
She was drinking a cointreau at the time and instantly coughed, spluttered, choked then started laughing while gasping frantically for breath. I am still not sure if the choking was caused by the thought of marrying me or the thought of wearing the white dress and veil.
She then said that if she was to marry me she would probably make me crawl down the aisle on hot coals. I expressed concern at this as she says my knees have dry skin anyway, but she replied it might be a good thing as the new skin once it had grown might be better than the original skin. See what I have to endure?
And they say romance is dead.
She was drinking a cointreau at the time and instantly coughed, spluttered, choked then started laughing while gasping frantically for breath. I am still not sure if the choking was caused by the thought of marrying me or the thought of wearing the white dress and veil.
She then said that if she was to marry me she would probably make me crawl down the aisle on hot coals. I expressed concern at this as she says my knees have dry skin anyway, but she replied it might be a good thing as the new skin once it had grown might be better than the original skin. See what I have to endure?
And they say romance is dead.
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