MT is shagging me to death. Sexual service last night was energetic, no that's a massive understatement, it was bloody exhausting. Nearly 1-00 am, yet again, before I was permitted to 'stand down', if you will excuse the pun.
Tonight, I have been informed is to be a night of service to MT, dress code informal, collar and plug - how twee. Must remember to turn the heating up higher although it is to be expected the 'cheeks' may get warmed, God I hate the Tyburn, it's definitely the stupidest present I ever gave her.
We are however, going to commence the evening with a cosy meal, wine and candles. See slavery can be romantic as well. I do not expect I will be allowed much wine, as She does not like me to have any anaesthetic before or during physical use. Maybe I could sneak a couple of painkillers down just to take the edge off, OK I know that's cheating, the punishment would be very harsh so I guess that option's out damn it..
MT insists I to prepare myself for her. My head and face are freshly shaven, as are my chest, buttocks and 'boy bits', (I cant believe I just said that). Even though we have been together for over 4 years I still get nervous when we plan such time together. I can feel my heart beating a bit faster and my breath getting deeper. It always feels like this. I should be used to it,
I feel excited, yet scared, I always do. I spent 22 years of my life as a Fire Fighter/Senior Officer and came close to death on numerous occasions, but this is so much more intense. Perhaps the pre-meditation of it adds to the angst.
Time to go, oh dear.
Happy New Year
Friday, 31 December 2010
Thursday, 30 December 2010
Normality
Although I did a couple of hours work on Tuesday and Wednesday, today was my first full day since the festivities. I had forgotten how tired I get and how much it makes me ache. I missed being at home with MT - even though she can be a bit bossy, something to do with her being dominant I think.
I like Roman history, particularly anything to do with slaves and gladiators. Following a recent TV series of Spartacus where the phrase 'I must earn coin ' was used, MT now refers to this sometimes when I leave for work , 'go and earn coin slave' it always makes me smile.
When I am working I have a lot of direct contact with the people I work for. I often smile inside and wonder what they would say/think if the knew how I lived. As many of them are very elderly I expect the truth would probably shock them, especially as my outward personality is just about as opposite to submissive as one can get, that makes it even funnier really.
There are a couple of them however, who I suspect may have some skeletons in their closets in relation to power exchange relationships, one couple in particular seem to function with a very clear D/s style and they are in their nineties.
I missed being at home with MT. OK, I do not miss the pain stuff, but it is part of us, and being bossed around can really hack me off some days, but when it is not there I do actually miss it. I must be really fucked up.
Sitting at the computer, chilling out as I type and sipping coffee (had red wine with dinner) I feel quite relaxed and at peace with the world.
That is, as relaxed as far as I can ever be with MT, it is only 7-15 pm and MT hasn't had her pet to play with today. Will the boy escape her wicked ways ? Guess I will find out soon. It's 'fun' being me.
I like Roman history, particularly anything to do with slaves and gladiators. Following a recent TV series of Spartacus where the phrase 'I must earn coin ' was used, MT now refers to this sometimes when I leave for work , 'go and earn coin slave' it always makes me smile.
When I am working I have a lot of direct contact with the people I work for. I often smile inside and wonder what they would say/think if the knew how I lived. As many of them are very elderly I expect the truth would probably shock them, especially as my outward personality is just about as opposite to submissive as one can get, that makes it even funnier really.
There are a couple of them however, who I suspect may have some skeletons in their closets in relation to power exchange relationships, one couple in particular seem to function with a very clear D/s style and they are in their nineties.
I missed being at home with MT. OK, I do not miss the pain stuff, but it is part of us, and being bossed around can really hack me off some days, but when it is not there I do actually miss it. I must be really fucked up.
Sitting at the computer, chilling out as I type and sipping coffee (had red wine with dinner) I feel quite relaxed and at peace with the world.
That is, as relaxed as far as I can ever be with MT, it is only 7-15 pm and MT hasn't had her pet to play with today. Will the boy escape her wicked ways ? Guess I will find out soon. It's 'fun' being me.
Wednesday, 29 December 2010
Sex
MT has a massive sex drive, probably higher than a roomful of teenage boys watching porn. Trying to keep up is almost if not actually impossible but it's good fun trying to and I live to serve. Yesterday morning I was given the onerous task of providing her with a marathon of sexual services. 'You poor thing' I hear you say. It's tough being a male slave, but someone's got to do it and it might as well be me. So, I spent the best part of the day doing my animal manly bit, and no stone was left unturned.
As things subsided, I could see my efforts had been appreciated, so when bedtime approached I felt a sense of ease and safety. Alas, once again I had failed to read the situation accurately. As I entered the bedroom she smiled sweetly at me and I smiled back, then she uttered the immortal but dreaded words ' fetch me the strap on '. I smiled, the type of smile you make when you know all is lost but you don't want to show it. So being the obedient slave that I am I of course complied.
There was much relief when it was over, unfortunately, at 7am I was unceremoniously put to use again. I was too tired and too sore but that's not really relevant when you are a slave (though it did mean I missed getting to the gym which made me stroppy).
I still find being on the receiving end of this painful and totally humiliating act very difficult, although it has been happening very regularly over the last four years. I do not enjoy it, if I did it would probably not happen.
There have been a few occasions when the feeling has not been unpleasant and in a strange sort of way I do occasionally miss it when it has not occurred for a short while. Perhaps I miss the humiliation, which since becoming hers is something I now find strangely addictive.
MT is a voracious lover, with a huge appetite and none more so than when she is utilising a bottom.She shows little mercy (apart from any injury) and pursues one orgasm after the other until she is sated. This often leaves me totally exhausted and more than a tad 'uncomfortable'.
Early on in our relationship, after I had made a negative comment about such usage she told me that to not be sore was a privilege and proceeded to give me a lesson to that effect. I was used every day, sometimes several times a day for a whole month. Although the use was limited to one month, the recovery period was an additional six weeks, the lesson was learned and I have never repeated the mistake.
Postscript; Did I forget mention that my right buttock appears to be bleeding rather a lot. I must have slipped on something sharp.
As things subsided, I could see my efforts had been appreciated, so when bedtime approached I felt a sense of ease and safety. Alas, once again I had failed to read the situation accurately. As I entered the bedroom she smiled sweetly at me and I smiled back, then she uttered the immortal but dreaded words ' fetch me the strap on '. I smiled, the type of smile you make when you know all is lost but you don't want to show it. So being the obedient slave that I am I of course complied.
There was much relief when it was over, unfortunately, at 7am I was unceremoniously put to use again. I was too tired and too sore but that's not really relevant when you are a slave (though it did mean I missed getting to the gym which made me stroppy).
I still find being on the receiving end of this painful and totally humiliating act very difficult, although it has been happening very regularly over the last four years. I do not enjoy it, if I did it would probably not happen.
There have been a few occasions when the feeling has not been unpleasant and in a strange sort of way I do occasionally miss it when it has not occurred for a short while. Perhaps I miss the humiliation, which since becoming hers is something I now find strangely addictive.
MT is a voracious lover, with a huge appetite and none more so than when she is utilising a bottom.She shows little mercy (apart from any injury) and pursues one orgasm after the other until she is sated. This often leaves me totally exhausted and more than a tad 'uncomfortable'.
Early on in our relationship, after I had made a negative comment about such usage she told me that to not be sore was a privilege and proceeded to give me a lesson to that effect. I was used every day, sometimes several times a day for a whole month. Although the use was limited to one month, the recovery period was an additional six weeks, the lesson was learned and I have never repeated the mistake.
Postscript; Did I forget mention that my right buttock appears to be bleeding rather a lot. I must have slipped on something sharp.
Tuesday, 28 December 2010
Choking Owner
Last night I nearly caused MT to choke - not deliberately of course. Really. We were watching 'The Deer Hunter' which is one of my favourite films which shockingly MT had never seen. A scene near the beginning was on with a woman wearing a frilly lacy white wedding dress and veil. I said "If we get married you could wear a dress like that at our wedding".
She was drinking a cointreau at the time and instantly coughed, spluttered, choked then started laughing while gasping frantically for breath. I am still not sure if the choking was caused by the thought of marrying me or the thought of wearing the white dress and veil.
She then said that if she was to marry me she would probably make me crawl down the aisle on hot coals. I expressed concern at this as she says my knees have dry skin anyway, but she replied it might be a good thing as the new skin once it had grown might be better than the original skin. See what I have to endure?
And they say romance is dead.
She was drinking a cointreau at the time and instantly coughed, spluttered, choked then started laughing while gasping frantically for breath. I am still not sure if the choking was caused by the thought of marrying me or the thought of wearing the white dress and veil.
She then said that if she was to marry me she would probably make me crawl down the aisle on hot coals. I expressed concern at this as she says my knees have dry skin anyway, but she replied it might be a good thing as the new skin once it had grown might be better than the original skin. See what I have to endure?
And they say romance is dead.
Monday, 27 December 2010
Privileges and Rights
As a slave, I have no rights. I still find it hard some days, some days it's easier than others, and today is one of the easy ones. I am allowed privileges when MT decides I can have them. This morning, after being fitted with my plug, I was given the privilege of giving MT sexual services, which is always an absolute pleasure. Sex is very important to her and I have to ensure I meet her various needs, which hopefully I do on most occasions.
MT does like to enjoy using girls, something I knew before I became her property. I still get a bit of a pang sometimes when she takes pleasure with a girl, I suppose, apart from the fact I love her and want her to myself, there is also the element of ego ie wanting to be everything your partner wants/needs you to be. Obviously, being a man I can not meet her need for a female.
I suppose I had taken it for granted that I would always be the only male in her life though, perhaps I thought it was my right to be the only one. Very recently, MT reminded me that this was a privilege and not a right. I didn't react very well to this. I have been very firmly reminded I have no rights and also have inadvertently perhaps brought about my own downfall. MT has informed me that she will probably be taking another male slave at some time in the future. This has struck me quite hard, however, after a lot of reflection I have to accept it, therefore I have.
Being a slave is not about what 'you' want, it's about what your Owner wants, sometimes there may not be any difference between the two wants, other times they may be a world apart.
MT does like to enjoy using girls, something I knew before I became her property. I still get a bit of a pang sometimes when she takes pleasure with a girl, I suppose, apart from the fact I love her and want her to myself, there is also the element of ego ie wanting to be everything your partner wants/needs you to be. Obviously, being a man I can not meet her need for a female.
I suppose I had taken it for granted that I would always be the only male in her life though, perhaps I thought it was my right to be the only one. Very recently, MT reminded me that this was a privilege and not a right. I didn't react very well to this. I have been very firmly reminded I have no rights and also have inadvertently perhaps brought about my own downfall. MT has informed me that she will probably be taking another male slave at some time in the future. This has struck me quite hard, however, after a lot of reflection I have to accept it, therefore I have.
Being a slave is not about what 'you' want, it's about what your Owner wants, sometimes there may not be any difference between the two wants, other times they may be a world apart.
Sunday, 26 December 2010
If only every day was Xmas
Yesterday and today have been great, apart from having a good day in general, MT let me eat and drink whatever I wanted. Usually, apart from standard meals, I have to ask for any 'treats', treats include alcohol, sweets, cake etc. so to be given a free reign has been luxury. There is a downside to this, I am required to keep my body in good physical condition and have an upper weight limit. So, with freedom still comes restriction, so it will be back to the gym on Tuesday.
Njoying the festive season
Christmas, a time for giving and receiving. I brought my owner MT, a cross-trainer/exercise bike, various books and several other things. What did I get ? I got a large Njoy butt plug. Great quality, very heavy and of course MT could not wait to trial it. She has searched for several years for a plug which I can wear out and about without fear of it either dropping out or travelling inside. Oh what joy, this meets the criteria, so I think its the start of a very long relationship with me and njoy.
I find being plugged very humiliating and MT just loves to humiliate me. I am a bit of a male chauvinist, its a generation thing I suppose, a time when girls were girls and men were men. So, fitting girls with plugs is normal, but having it done to guys, it just seemed so wrong. So, I have become a bitch, still hard to believe but that's the reality. MT is being kind at the moment, just a mere two hours a day breaking in period and then, well I think the plan is ? to be advised by MT quote ' I like to keep you off balance' . I have been 'off-balance' since the day I met her.
I find being plugged very humiliating and MT just loves to humiliate me. I am a bit of a male chauvinist, its a generation thing I suppose, a time when girls were girls and men were men. So, fitting girls with plugs is normal, but having it done to guys, it just seemed so wrong. So, I have become a bitch, still hard to believe but that's the reality. MT is being kind at the moment, just a mere two hours a day breaking in period and then, well I think the plan is ? to be advised by MT quote ' I like to keep you off balance' . I have been 'off-balance' since the day I met her.
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