Although MT is still unwell she decided to give the errant slave some use this morning. Not suprisingly due to the slaves recent poor behaviour, he was dealt with quite unceremoniously. Having offered his services to 'pleasure' his owner he was re-acquainted with his dear friend njoy. Then private parts were bound up and repeatedly painfully yanked, much to the amusement of MT before being packed off to work.
Of course, one can not be suprised by this as the slave had behaved badly, in fact he was let off quite lightly, but then he is not stupid or naive and knows that there will be more to come. A betting person might gamble a reasonable amount that the silly boy will deeply regret his behaviour. I understand, he is already very sorry for his behaviour, but knows his remorse will be nothing compared to the price he will no doubt have to pay.
I do not feel sorry for him, he deserves to be reminded of his place and what his purpose is. I hope MT does not over exert herself as she is still unwell. They say 'revenge is a dish best served cold,' perhaps the same applies to reprimands?.
I wish the slave good luck and hope he will make a full recovery following his remedial attention.
Showing posts with label work. Show all posts
Showing posts with label work. Show all posts
Wednesday, 16 March 2011
Tuesday, 8 March 2011
If....
Today was mega busy so I am glad it is over, too much work and not enough chilling time.
Sometimes I sort of forget that I am property, not in a way that means I think I am vanilla, just that it is so much of my everyday life that the tag just doesn't really register. Then suddenly I think about it and it makes me focus on it more. Today was one such day. Probably because MT has been unwell I have not given it a lot of thought lately. As there are signs of her appearing again, it seems to have re-sparked my awareness.
After work I looked in the mirror and realised I had not been keeping my body shaved as well as I normally do. In fact a couple of areas had remained unshaven for a while, areas which I am normally required to maintain. So obviously, being aware of my slippage, I started to put things back to how they should be. It is funny how a simple thing like this not only reminds me I am property but also gives me this deep sense of being owned. As I shaved, it even made me take a few deeper breaths, I take deeper breaths sometimes when MT is using me or humiliating me. It is as though I suddenly need more air, not in a bad way, just that I need to catch my breath.
In many ways I feel sort of resentful that my slavery can not be totally transparent. I feel I should be totally visible as MT's property at all times. I suppose I personally relate more to an ancient slave than any other type. I sometimes crave that MT could lead me around chained and naked whenever and wherever she wanted. I know I would be mortified by this, but somehow I feel that it is the way I should be. I love our life together, but can't help but feel we are living our lives in a way we were not meant to.
I expect, to many this may sound like so many fantasies that people have. But I do not feel it as a fantasy, it feels more like that I have been sort of cheated out of the life we could have had. I know a life like that would be harsh and perhaps it might have even broken me, probably would have, but it just feels like it is the way it should have been.
MT has said on several occasions she would love us to have a time together alone in a remote location where she could really treat me as she wants. To totally break me down. She has told me some of what she wants and even though I know her very well I was quite suprised at the depths she wants to take me. I actually felt a certain amount of fear yet I also felt a certain degree of disappointment that we can not actually do it yet. I really have become a strange creature.
Sometimes I sort of forget that I am property, not in a way that means I think I am vanilla, just that it is so much of my everyday life that the tag just doesn't really register. Then suddenly I think about it and it makes me focus on it more. Today was one such day. Probably because MT has been unwell I have not given it a lot of thought lately. As there are signs of her appearing again, it seems to have re-sparked my awareness.
After work I looked in the mirror and realised I had not been keeping my body shaved as well as I normally do. In fact a couple of areas had remained unshaven for a while, areas which I am normally required to maintain. So obviously, being aware of my slippage, I started to put things back to how they should be. It is funny how a simple thing like this not only reminds me I am property but also gives me this deep sense of being owned. As I shaved, it even made me take a few deeper breaths, I take deeper breaths sometimes when MT is using me or humiliating me. It is as though I suddenly need more air, not in a bad way, just that I need to catch my breath.
In many ways I feel sort of resentful that my slavery can not be totally transparent. I feel I should be totally visible as MT's property at all times. I suppose I personally relate more to an ancient slave than any other type. I sometimes crave that MT could lead me around chained and naked whenever and wherever she wanted. I know I would be mortified by this, but somehow I feel that it is the way I should be. I love our life together, but can't help but feel we are living our lives in a way we were not meant to.
I expect, to many this may sound like so many fantasies that people have. But I do not feel it as a fantasy, it feels more like that I have been sort of cheated out of the life we could have had. I know a life like that would be harsh and perhaps it might have even broken me, probably would have, but it just feels like it is the way it should have been.
MT has said on several occasions she would love us to have a time together alone in a remote location where she could really treat me as she wants. To totally break me down. She has told me some of what she wants and even though I know her very well I was quite suprised at the depths she wants to take me. I actually felt a certain amount of fear yet I also felt a certain degree of disappointment that we can not actually do it yet. I really have become a strange creature.
Saturday, 29 January 2011
Just another day in Paradise
Sometimes, days do not go as you planned or hoped and today seems to be one of them. A slightly later start than normal for work, which was nice , but when I got there the plan had changed. I thought I was putting up a shed, but ended up being asked to paint a room and a bedroom skirting and frame. Of course, I went in my garden clothing and not my painting gear, so the garden clothes now have some paint on them.....great.
I popped home for a quick coffee and toast before the next booked job, a customer who can be rather difficult, and today was no exception. I reminded him that my hourly rate had increased as from 1st January. I reminded him because I just knew he would claim I had not told him. Surprise, surprise he was shocked at the increase! So I politely said I would understand if he no longer wished me to reinstate his garden (it has been left unattended for ten years). He muttered a bit, said other people didn't get paid as much per hour etc. I politely stated the people he was quoting did not work for themselves, nor did they supply all the tools or indeed probably have all the other costs a self employed person does, or have the lack of benefits that come from self employment etc. I said I was happy to give him some time to think about it, and to give me a call. He said, "I know its not expensive, its just me, I know you are cheaper than the others, but it's a cold day and I am not right in the head today..." Well I managed to just politely say goodbye without venting - see I can be good. I am reliably informed by MT that telling people to fuck off is not good customer service technique - it was news to me. She is so much more polite than me (well, unless she decides to go for it).
This was superseded by my car tire bursting and me having to pay out for a new one, hence today has not been a good financial one, I'm minus money earned, and only two hours work achieved, but more importantly, still have several outstanding contracts I could have been doing had I not been messed around. Grrrrrrr.
MT is slightly better today but still really unwell and struggling. I must put on my nurses uniform ;) Only joking, thankfully, crossdressing is not one of MT's fetishes and I am exceptionally pleased about that, that would be too much.
Tomorrow I am hoping for a stress free day. If it is dry, I might even finally take the Ducati out for a little ride, if I can get permission. Motorbike rides are of course a privilege and have to be requested. It must be about three months since my last ride, well on the bike anyway, I mean the Ducati. Oooops, perhaps the bike ride was a bit optimistic after all.
I haven't told Cati about what MT said about her, I think she would get very stressed. She can also get quite jealous. Did I mention my Cati fetish at all? Best not I suppose, otherwise you might think me a little wierd(er). Can you actually have a poly relationship involving an owner, a slave and a motorbike? I see a new analogy appearing. Practically and technically, MT owns us both, so it must be poly! I must join the poly group on FL, I just hate being left out.
I popped home for a quick coffee and toast before the next booked job, a customer who can be rather difficult, and today was no exception. I reminded him that my hourly rate had increased as from 1st January. I reminded him because I just knew he would claim I had not told him. Surprise, surprise he was shocked at the increase! So I politely said I would understand if he no longer wished me to reinstate his garden (it has been left unattended for ten years). He muttered a bit, said other people didn't get paid as much per hour etc. I politely stated the people he was quoting did not work for themselves, nor did they supply all the tools or indeed probably have all the other costs a self employed person does, or have the lack of benefits that come from self employment etc. I said I was happy to give him some time to think about it, and to give me a call. He said, "I know its not expensive, its just me, I know you are cheaper than the others, but it's a cold day and I am not right in the head today..." Well I managed to just politely say goodbye without venting - see I can be good. I am reliably informed by MT that telling people to fuck off is not good customer service technique - it was news to me. She is so much more polite than me (well, unless she decides to go for it).
This was superseded by my car tire bursting and me having to pay out for a new one, hence today has not been a good financial one, I'm minus money earned, and only two hours work achieved, but more importantly, still have several outstanding contracts I could have been doing had I not been messed around. Grrrrrrr.
MT is slightly better today but still really unwell and struggling. I must put on my nurses uniform ;) Only joking, thankfully, crossdressing is not one of MT's fetishes and I am exceptionally pleased about that, that would be too much.
Tomorrow I am hoping for a stress free day. If it is dry, I might even finally take the Ducati out for a little ride, if I can get permission. Motorbike rides are of course a privilege and have to be requested. It must be about three months since my last ride, well on the bike anyway, I mean the Ducati. Oooops, perhaps the bike ride was a bit optimistic after all.
I haven't told Cati about what MT said about her, I think she would get very stressed. She can also get quite jealous. Did I mention my Cati fetish at all? Best not I suppose, otherwise you might think me a little wierd(er). Can you actually have a poly relationship involving an owner, a slave and a motorbike? I see a new analogy appearing. Practically and technically, MT owns us both, so it must be poly! I must join the poly group on FL, I just hate being left out.
Friday, 28 January 2011
Sleepless in Suffolk.
There are many things I have found difficult about being property, I have at my worst moments wondered if I am actually the slave equivalent of the antiChrist. As time has passed, I have improved, well MT made me so I had no choice. I am still a work in progress but I do think (and more importantly so does MT) that I have made significant advances in recent weeks. I am just hoping that there will not be a any regression, hoping as much for my sake as well as MT's, as I know she will move swiftly against any negative changes.
Recently I have tried analyzing why I sometimes struggle so much, seemingly from nowhere. The inherent issue of not liking being told what to do I have sort of reconciled... ok a bit ;) I have noticed a fairly consistent pattern, I am usually at my worst when I am tired. The more I have thought about this the more sure I am. Like many people, when tired I have less tolerance and just usually want to chill out or sleep. If I can't do either I get stressed, when stressed I am often a real nightmare, and then my world implodes and I start to make those around me very unhappy.
Bedtime can be a busy time when one is the slave of a woman such as MT. The desire to sleep often overrides my desire to serve, of course I serve, that is my function. I often serve until 1-00 am and then get to sleep shortly after, then at 7-30 ish I get up and go to work. The night is peppered with generally being unable to sleep, pain and numbness in limbs, toilet trips etc, so I end up tired. The next day is busy with work and then the cycle continues, usually a downwards spiral as I get more and more tired. This then becomes more and more of a problem and an eruption is only a matter of time. Then it is 'hang head in shame and apologise time'.
So, having discovered this, I am experimenting with going to bed earlier, so I can serve and get to sleep a bit earlier. At the moment, it seems to be an improvement, I am getting less tired and subsequently less stressed and have not kicked off in a while....Result.
This week is a busy one, I am working tomorrow (Saturday) which is a bit of a downer, but Sunday and Monday are non work days, well non work apart from whatever MT gives me. She is generally very receptive to my pleas of 'please, I need a rest', well most of the time... unless there is a pressing orgasm or ten to have of course, in which case its business as normal.
Recently I have tried analyzing why I sometimes struggle so much, seemingly from nowhere. The inherent issue of not liking being told what to do I have sort of reconciled... ok a bit ;) I have noticed a fairly consistent pattern, I am usually at my worst when I am tired. The more I have thought about this the more sure I am. Like many people, when tired I have less tolerance and just usually want to chill out or sleep. If I can't do either I get stressed, when stressed I am often a real nightmare, and then my world implodes and I start to make those around me very unhappy.
Bedtime can be a busy time when one is the slave of a woman such as MT. The desire to sleep often overrides my desire to serve, of course I serve, that is my function. I often serve until 1-00 am and then get to sleep shortly after, then at 7-30 ish I get up and go to work. The night is peppered with generally being unable to sleep, pain and numbness in limbs, toilet trips etc, so I end up tired. The next day is busy with work and then the cycle continues, usually a downwards spiral as I get more and more tired. This then becomes more and more of a problem and an eruption is only a matter of time. Then it is 'hang head in shame and apologise time'.
So, having discovered this, I am experimenting with going to bed earlier, so I can serve and get to sleep a bit earlier. At the moment, it seems to be an improvement, I am getting less tired and subsequently less stressed and have not kicked off in a while....Result.
This week is a busy one, I am working tomorrow (Saturday) which is a bit of a downer, but Sunday and Monday are non work days, well non work apart from whatever MT gives me. She is generally very receptive to my pleas of 'please, I need a rest', well most of the time... unless there is a pressing orgasm or ten to have of course, in which case its business as normal.
Thursday, 20 January 2011
Something for the weekend Sir?
Last night was a 'Valentines Day' night of dreams of the past, I awoke feeling like I had just been told that today was my last day. Hot coffee and breakfast helped to revive me and then it was off to work.
The day has been a busy little one, an early start and a very busy days work, good for money but not so good for the aching back. Quick shopping trip, followed by food shop and then home to cook dinner, life in the fast lane. Not.
Tomorrow is a good day, MT and I are off to Brighton for a two night stop over. For the sake of those who know nothing about Brighton, it is city on the south coast of England which is very lively and is well known for its funky cosmopolitan atmosphere, possibly the closest we have in the UK to San Francisco. It's MT's favourite place in the UK and she used to go there for adventures a lot in the past. Unfortunately, weather wise it will probably be freezing. MT will be in her element with plenty of pretty girls to perv over, I may also perv if allowed. Hopefully MT will not try to get me a 'special friend' whilst we are away, our hotel stays can sometimes be a little crowded.
Due to my recently divulged 'chicken bone throwing' habits after a few drinks, I am to be put on a limit of four alcoholic drinks per night. I haven't asked how many I can drink during the day though...
As I do not drink very much anymore this should be still enough to enable me to have a good time without all the bad habits of excess alcohol. I really should have one of those T shirts with the slogan ' Instant arsehole, just add alcohol '. Unfortunately, this would be very apt, excess alcohol has caused some of my most spectacular errors of judgement. MT is the first woman I have met and had a serious relationship when I was not drunk at the time of meeting her.
It is nice to get away and spend some quality time together, so we are both looking forward to it. MT is trying to convey far better health than I know she is feeling, bless her. I hope she will be ok.
One of the things I like about going away is that you can be as silly as you want because you will not bump into the same people again. The other good thing about it is that MT can't beat me mercilessly at night time because of the noise in the hotel. I sometimes get a couple of whacks, usually on the morning when we are leaving. Of course there are other hurty little things she may do that do not make a noise, but they do make me a little vocal.
So as we are off for a long weekend of decadence (hopefully), no blogging until Sunday night when I will report any bad behaviour on the part of my owner - she can be so unruly, especially let loose in somewhere like Brighton.
The day has been a busy little one, an early start and a very busy days work, good for money but not so good for the aching back. Quick shopping trip, followed by food shop and then home to cook dinner, life in the fast lane. Not.
Tomorrow is a good day, MT and I are off to Brighton for a two night stop over. For the sake of those who know nothing about Brighton, it is city on the south coast of England which is very lively and is well known for its funky cosmopolitan atmosphere, possibly the closest we have in the UK to San Francisco. It's MT's favourite place in the UK and she used to go there for adventures a lot in the past. Unfortunately, weather wise it will probably be freezing. MT will be in her element with plenty of pretty girls to perv over, I may also perv if allowed. Hopefully MT will not try to get me a 'special friend' whilst we are away, our hotel stays can sometimes be a little crowded.
Due to my recently divulged 'chicken bone throwing' habits after a few drinks, I am to be put on a limit of four alcoholic drinks per night. I haven't asked how many I can drink during the day though...
As I do not drink very much anymore this should be still enough to enable me to have a good time without all the bad habits of excess alcohol. I really should have one of those T shirts with the slogan ' Instant arsehole, just add alcohol '. Unfortunately, this would be very apt, excess alcohol has caused some of my most spectacular errors of judgement. MT is the first woman I have met and had a serious relationship when I was not drunk at the time of meeting her.
It is nice to get away and spend some quality time together, so we are both looking forward to it. MT is trying to convey far better health than I know she is feeling, bless her. I hope she will be ok.
One of the things I like about going away is that you can be as silly as you want because you will not bump into the same people again. The other good thing about it is that MT can't beat me mercilessly at night time because of the noise in the hotel. I sometimes get a couple of whacks, usually on the morning when we are leaving. Of course there are other hurty little things she may do that do not make a noise, but they do make me a little vocal.
So as we are off for a long weekend of decadence (hopefully), no blogging until Sunday night when I will report any bad behaviour on the part of my owner - she can be so unruly, especially let loose in somewhere like Brighton.
Thursday, 30 December 2010
Normality
Although I did a couple of hours work on Tuesday and Wednesday, today was my first full day since the festivities. I had forgotten how tired I get and how much it makes me ache. I missed being at home with MT - even though she can be a bit bossy, something to do with her being dominant I think.
I like Roman history, particularly anything to do with slaves and gladiators. Following a recent TV series of Spartacus where the phrase 'I must earn coin ' was used, MT now refers to this sometimes when I leave for work , 'go and earn coin slave' it always makes me smile.
When I am working I have a lot of direct contact with the people I work for. I often smile inside and wonder what they would say/think if the knew how I lived. As many of them are very elderly I expect the truth would probably shock them, especially as my outward personality is just about as opposite to submissive as one can get, that makes it even funnier really.
There are a couple of them however, who I suspect may have some skeletons in their closets in relation to power exchange relationships, one couple in particular seem to function with a very clear D/s style and they are in their nineties.
I missed being at home with MT. OK, I do not miss the pain stuff, but it is part of us, and being bossed around can really hack me off some days, but when it is not there I do actually miss it. I must be really fucked up.
Sitting at the computer, chilling out as I type and sipping coffee (had red wine with dinner) I feel quite relaxed and at peace with the world.
That is, as relaxed as far as I can ever be with MT, it is only 7-15 pm and MT hasn't had her pet to play with today. Will the boy escape her wicked ways ? Guess I will find out soon. It's 'fun' being me.
I like Roman history, particularly anything to do with slaves and gladiators. Following a recent TV series of Spartacus where the phrase 'I must earn coin ' was used, MT now refers to this sometimes when I leave for work , 'go and earn coin slave' it always makes me smile.
When I am working I have a lot of direct contact with the people I work for. I often smile inside and wonder what they would say/think if the knew how I lived. As many of them are very elderly I expect the truth would probably shock them, especially as my outward personality is just about as opposite to submissive as one can get, that makes it even funnier really.
There are a couple of them however, who I suspect may have some skeletons in their closets in relation to power exchange relationships, one couple in particular seem to function with a very clear D/s style and they are in their nineties.
I missed being at home with MT. OK, I do not miss the pain stuff, but it is part of us, and being bossed around can really hack me off some days, but when it is not there I do actually miss it. I must be really fucked up.
Sitting at the computer, chilling out as I type and sipping coffee (had red wine with dinner) I feel quite relaxed and at peace with the world.
That is, as relaxed as far as I can ever be with MT, it is only 7-15 pm and MT hasn't had her pet to play with today. Will the boy escape her wicked ways ? Guess I will find out soon. It's 'fun' being me.
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