Sleepless in Suffolk.

There are many things I have found difficult about being property, I have at my worst moments wondered if I am actually the slave equivalent of the antiChrist. As time has passed, I have improved, well MT made me so I had no choice. I am still a work in progress but I do think (and more importantly so does MT) that I have made significant advances in recent weeks. I am just hoping that there will not be a any regression, hoping as much for my sake as well as MT's, as I know she will move swiftly against any negative changes.

Recently I have tried analyzing why I sometimes struggle so much, seemingly from nowhere. The inherent issue of not liking being told what to do I have sort of reconciled... ok a bit ;) I have noticed a fairly consistent pattern, I am usually at my worst when I am tired. The more I have thought about this the more sure I am. Like many people, when tired I have less tolerance and just usually want to chill out or sleep. If I can't do either I get stressed, when stressed I am often  a real nightmare, and then my world implodes and I start to make those around me very unhappy.

Bedtime can be a busy time when one is the slave of a woman such as MT. The desire to sleep often overrides my desire to serve, of course I serve, that is my function. I often serve until 1-00 am and then get to sleep shortly after, then at 7-30 ish I get up and go to work. The night is peppered with generally being unable to sleep, pain and numbness in limbs, toilet trips etc, so I end up tired. The next day is busy with work and then the cycle continues, usually a downwards spiral as I get more and more tired. This then becomes more and more of a problem and an eruption is only a matter of time. Then it is 'hang head in shame and apologise time'.

So, having discovered this, I am experimenting with going to bed earlier, so I can serve and get to sleep a bit earlier. At the moment, it seems to be an improvement, I am getting less tired and subsequently less stressed and have not kicked off in a while....Result.

This week is a busy one, I am working tomorrow (Saturday) which is a bit of a downer, but Sunday and Monday are non work days, well non work apart from whatever MT gives me. She is generally very receptive to my pleas of 'please, I need a rest',  well most of the time... unless there is a pressing orgasm or ten to have of course, in which case its business as normal.