Reflection

One of the things that causes me issues in our O/p relationship is focussing attention on aspects which I feel are important and/or show my commitment/devotion. Whilst this is well intentioned I have on numerous occasions missed the vital part, that being of course that it doesn't matter what I think, what matters is what MT wants.

By focussing on what I think, I neglect the things that are important to MT. When this gets pointed out to me my initial feelings are often ones of annoyance as I have usually put quite a lot of effort into doing what I thought was important. When I have calmed down a bit and given the matter rational thought then I realise she was of course totally correct.

I find it so easy to fall into this trap, I might spend time doing something that I think will be appreciated whilst MT is getting more and more miffed with me because I have neglected to do x,y,z etc. It is something I must stop doing, although it is well intentioned it is totally pointless and therefore a waste of time. Therefore, I will try to pay more attention to what is important to her and try to ensure I meet those requirements.

I think that trying to be proactive can be a very good thing.....providing ones owners needs/requirements have already been met.

I am feeling like I am getting back into 'being owned' head space again now that I am feeling better in my health and am less tired. Three days off has been a nice break from work and I feel more able to focus time and energy directly to MT.