Sickness and wealth

I know it is really boring, but I have been so unwell this Easter. Apart from a couple of short visits to the garden I have been house bound. I am feeling slightly better today which is good. Unfortunately, whilst it has been so hot my slight chip in the car windscreen has turned into a massive crack, so more money to find. The insurance will not pay the first £65.

I now need to reschedule cancelled gardening appointments in a diary that is already full, I feel really hacked off about that. I know I should not work this week, but I have to. The more work I miss the worse it will be later. MT is considering putting her foot down with the work and about me going to the Doctors. The problem is I do not feel well enough for work, but this month we have so many outgoings to make I just 'have' to go. Not going is not an option.

I am aware of course that there is a risk I might crash as a result of the work, but I sort of feel that I must try to keep going. If I do crash, then at least I tried. The windscreen is also a time issue, I will have to re schedule some work to get the repair done...another time management issue.

When I am this unwell there is little I can do actively as MT's slave and I really do not like that. It makes me feel that I am letting her down, especially as she is unwell. It also makes me feel less of a slave as I am not carrying out any duties or providing services. MT has been great and has been looking after me which is lovely, she really is special.

The night away from her really made me realise just how much I love her and how much I love being hers. I still feel a bit of a pang as she faired much better being apart than I did, but then that was the reality and 'reality' is something a slave perhaps has to deal with more than most people.The reality of not being able to change things or make decisions unless given approval being just the tip of a very large iceberg.