On the O/p Group there is a thread discussing people who divulge intimate details of their O/p relationship with their family and friends. Each to their own as far as I am concerned, if they feel comfortable with that then that is fine, but I do wonder how the recipients of such information feel. If they decide they do not want to know, then it would seem to me that that is a reasonable stance and their preference should be respected.
This made me think about my own family and how each of them might react. My family and I are not in very regular contact and go some years in between seeing each other and live some distance away, so it is not like we ever just bump into each other.
So this is how I envisage each of them might react or in the case of my Mum, might have reacted :-
Dad - Total silence, total disbelief, swiftly followed by ranting outburts containing words such as , fucking freak, fucking pervert, fucking disgrace, your no son of mine, you fucking sissy, fucking poof etc. After this would be total hand washing and the 'you are dead to me routine'.
Mum - How big is the strap on?, does it hurt ? do you like it ? Why ? Can I watch ? Are you gay ? it doesnt matter if you are . Was it my fault ?
Brother 1 - OH, fucking hell, fucking hell, fucking hell. I never would have thought it, fucking hell, fucking hell (he does like to swear). Well as long as your happy.
Brother 2 - Silence. More silence. Hmmmm I just don't understand how you can be submissive to a woman. You know, they are all just there to be told what to do and to use when you like. Why would you want to do that ? Oh well, never mind.
Step Brother - A slave ? well there aren't slaves any more. You can't be a slave, they don't exist. Whats a strap on ? Why does she hit you ? thats cruel, does it hurt ? See that's why I don't go out with women they are scary.
As a general rule, I do not discuss our dynamic except when we go to places where there are like minded people. On odd occasions people have picked up on a few things and if asked then I tell them as long as it does not compromise us or the family. My general view of life anyway has always been to not worry about what others may or may not think. I have always been more concerned with being able to live with myself and feeling comfortable about who and what I am. Seeking approval or acceptance from others does not feature on my radar.
I suspect my family would react in the following ways:
ReplyDeleteFather - Either stunning indifference or inexplicable rage. I'm not sure which side of the fence he would fall on.
Mother - Call Children's Aid to have the children removed, try to have me put into counselling for abused women, possibly try to file charges against the Captain herself, get drunk and tell me details about her sex life with my father I am wholly disinterested in learning.
Brother - Straight-up murder attempt on the Captain for "messing with" his sister.
Hi N,
ReplyDeleteI don't know why but this post struck my funny bone. Both of my parents and a sister are dead and I can't imagine exposing my life choices to my remaining siblings.
I have a few cousins who know that something off center is going on but they are southern California, so nothing surprises them. My eldest daughter is in her early twenties and deep in her own weirdness. She would probably find my behavior revelatory.
It's all cool. Whatever. I don't go out of my way to broadcast my personal life but don't worry too much about it. Sometimes I wish I lived in a more tolerant society, though. Americans talk about personal freedom while they stomp you to death.
Best,
scott
Mrs. Kelly's Playhouse
This is why most of us don't tell.
ReplyDelete