Well today was OK, feeling a bit better, work was bearable.
The 'being away ' from MT thing really has turned out to have been a positive thing. Just the one night was more than enough to jog me back into the right frame of mind.
I still find my 'slave mentality' somewhat new. I still have a hard time understanding how I ever got here. But even more surprising has been the way my responses to things have changed. The old me I sort of knew and understood, there were really no great changes. The 'slave me' well that is a completely different kettle of fish. It feels a bit like childhood used to. An ever increasing sense of self awareness, vulnerability, never knowing what was to come next, and many new and exciting experiences. All of which is accompanied by the growing pains, the frustrations and confusions and the teen thing of 'no-one understands me'.This is coupled with never really knowing how I will respond to a new experience or indeed sometimes a repeated one.
It is all so confusing, but also so great.
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