The new work schedule is well underway and already I am feeling a little less stressed and a little less tired.
Due to my recent behaviour, I am still not flavour of the month, but that is only to be expected. I have never had too much time for people who do not accept that there are usually consequences to their actions or behaviours.
The old adage ' If you can't do the time, don't do the crime' seem relevant to me. In the fire service I used to know all of the rules, but chose to bend some and break others. I always knew what I was doing and I also knew ( if I got caught or challenged ) that there would be consequences. Thus it was up to me to either tow the line or suffer the consequences. There were very few times I towed the line on issues that were important to me.
Diplomacy and tact have never been very used tools in my toolbox, of course I have known I should use them sometimes and that they would probably be the best method of getting close to what I wanted to achieve, but somehow, that type of approach seemed too antithetical to my core being.
There have been odd occasions in my life when I have bit my tongue and not said what I truly felt, and afterwards I have regretted it so much that I have seldom repeated the experience. It drove me crazy, feeling like I had taken the easy way out, almost like I had been a coward, silly, but that is how it made me feel.I felt like I had betrayed myself, I had been untrue.
Of course, there is a difference between knowing right from wrong and a difference when people do not know what they are doing. Often people have criticised me more than they would others, because I have known what the expected 'right thing to do ' was , but actively chose to take the opposite or an alternative path.
I suppose many of my traits are somewhat antithetical to O/p, but somehow I find a sense of belonging in our O/p relationship and a sense of safety and overall contentment. It is a rocky road and often an uncomfortable journey, but it is also fulfilling.
I have often thought that the most precious things are those that are the hardest to attain.
You have been fortunate to find a partner who facilitates your submission. You have a desire to please hence have made the commitment to obedience and service despite the inherent difficulties that come with that. In your mind, she is worthy of it.
ReplyDelete24/7 D/s can be the hardest thing in the world, way harder than any vanilla union, but it is also consdierably more rewarding and fulfilling in my opinion. We are way happier in 24/7 than we were with bedroom only kink!
Stick with rule breaking and bending outside the union I say! LOL You're clearly onto a good thing with your partner.
DY x