I finally got round to posting again.
There were several reasons why I have not blogged over the last few days.
Firstly, to be honest, I just didn't feel like doing it, how's that for honesty............. I felt like I just wanted to be quiet and be in my own little world. I know that sounds a bit fucked up, but it is the best way I can describe it.
Secondly, I am still feeling a bit low, the pills have helped quite a lot but generally I just feel pretty crap atm.
Thirdly, not much has happened to talk about, yes I know, that does not usually stop me ;).
Work has been surprisingly busy, the buggers keep giving me work to do, what's that all about ? Anyone would think I was trying to earn money or something.
The sleeping pills have been an improvement but tonight I must reduce down to half a pill instead of a whole one, I actually feel that tired I am hoping I will be able to sleep without any soon.
MT is feeling unwell, her usual downturn after taking her weekly meds, hopefully she will start improving as from tomorrow.
I have been trying to work out why I feel so down. For those that also suffer such periods of depression/stress etc I am sure there are others who will be like me and just not be able to identify any 'one' particular reason.
No doubt it is a combination of things, some I have considered and perhaps others I haven't a clue about.
I know I love my Owner and my family very much. I know that me being like this makes me and everyone around me unhappy. I know I do not want to feel like this. I know it will pass, it always does.
I also know it will only change when it has run it's course. There is no magic cure. Of course some serious retail therapy, a new bike or bits for my bike, continuous rampant sex (Oh I already get that), some serious hard play and lashings of humiliation, a mega holiday, retirement etc etc all might momentarily quell the doldrums but this is an internal thing and things of the mind, even a simple little one like mine :) can take time to get back into the right mode.
I know this has probably been a very uplifting, fun to read blog NOT.... but why shouldn't everyone else feel like crap as well ? only joking of course.
At least I still have my sense of humour, abeit a rather strange one. Take care all.
I feel for you, really I do.
ReplyDeleteI can only hope that you find your sparkle again soon and can work through all the things that are causing you to feel so low.
Kindest regards,
DYx
doesn't random depression suck? If we knew what caused it, we'd bloody well fix it wouldn't we?
ReplyDeleteDon't feel too bad about the "not much has happened to talk about..." thing. We were so dull that even the cat ignored us. Which thinking about it was kind of a blessing... :)
ReplyDeleteThank you DY, Vixen and Mp, I appreciate it.x
ReplyDelete