I wonder...

I like to think I have a fairly good imagination and throughout life have fantasised about a wide range of things. In relation to slavery, I have fantasised on both sides of the slash.

Since being owned, surprise surprise, my fantasies are predominantly about me being a slave in some scenario or other. My passion most strongly lies in Egyptian, Greek and Roman history, there is just something about these eras that appeals to me, I expect I am not alone in this.

Fantasies have ranged from being a gladiator (obviously), sex slave (of course) or personal slave to a beautiful female (at least I get the latter in real life). When I am sexually aroused these fantasies can become more than a little hardcore, sometimes with severe damage and humiliation being inflicted upon me. The greater the act the more aroused I become. This is pretty much reflected in my life with MT :) lucky me....fortunately I do not get the type of severe use and damage I sometimes fantasise about.No darling that is not a request.

But, when I am not aroused and in my serious mode (I try to avoid this most of the time) I wonder how I would have fared as an enforced slave. I can not really imagine how horrible this must have been for those people. It must have been a living hell for many slaves.

Not having a submissive personality, I think I would have particularly had great hardship as an enforced slave. Throughout my life (pre MT) I have got myself into all sorts of scrapes by non compliance with many things. I have seldom followed rules and instructions, nor cared about it. Even when there have been consequences I have rebelled against those as well. In a warm and cosy safe house, like I am now, it is easy to think that I would have resisted at all cost and not yielded to enforced slavery. The reality I expect might be the reverse, it is one of those things that one can not perhaps accurately predict.

At the very least, I would like to think that i would have resisted, at least have escaped, maybe even died resisting and/or taken revenge on my captors.

So isn't it ironic, that given such a strongly held stance that I actually gave myself to MT as her slave? FFS