First of all I would like to say a very big thank you to everyone who has sent kind messages to me, both here and on the O/p group and via MT. Your kindness has been overwhelming.
Unfortunately, my Father's funeral will not take place until 16th June, I had hoped it would be sooner. I feel mainly for my two brothers and my half brother because my Father was actively in their lives on a daily basis. They will feel the loss more directly than I will. In some ways my Father stopped being my Father many years ago, but I still feel the loss.
I will never forget how broken my brother was at our Mum's funeral and I am totally dreading my Dads as I fear my brother will be even worse. I hate seeing them so sad and hurting so much.
Changing the subject completely, MT has been wonderful (of course). She has been very understanding, especially as I am a person who sometimes stays particularly quiet when stressed. I tend to get through difficult times by spending quiet time alone and working things through in my head. It works for me and has been considerably tested over the years.
I just want things back to normal as soon as possible. So last night at bedtime I asked MT if I could provide her with some sexual service. She was a bit cautious that I might not be up to it but I assured her I was. It was so nice to be back doing what we do. Providing MT with services feels so right and it was comforting to be back where I belong.
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