Thinking ahead

On Sunday we are going to a private event run by someone who really knows how to throw a BDSM party. The last one we went to was held at a very large house with fantastic gardens and a swimming pool. This one is at a place that used to be a hotel, has acres of land and a very large jacuzzi.

Weather permitting we will be able to enjoy outside activities and if not we will have ample space inside. The last time we went I had the humiliating misfortune to be publicly put on the end of a fucking machine for some considerable time. This amused MT no end and she often references it. There have been threats of a repeat which I really do not want.

It is a long event, ten hours at least, so I expect I shall really be feeling used and sore by the time it finishes and then some more when MT gets me home. She always uses me hard after a public event, usually much  harder use than when we are out.

At previous events we have met some really nice people and there are some quite serious players as well as some O/p couples. There are also usually a few really hot girls so MT will be in her element, no doubt she might also keep an eye out for a hot guy as well.

Whenever I see her talking to some guy at an event I start to wonder if I will end up having to service his cock before the night is out. It could be worse though, she might decide to use him for her own personal pleasure. It is a difficult catch 22, if she sees an attractive guy I either fear the humiliation of him using my holes under her instructions or having to watch her take her pleasure with him.

If I was given a choice, I would always choose to be used myself. Whilst I really dislike it, it is the lesser of the two evils.I know being jealous is a bad thing (allegedly) but it is just the way I feel. But of course I have no choice so it is almost irrelevant really.

My main concern at the moment though is my knee, it is unbearably painful even with the tramadol.  I might not have to crawl or get up on my knees which could be considered positive. But, I do not see it that way, I would much prefer to be fully fit and able to take anything and everything that MT wants to throw my way. Over the years I have slowly become more conscious, more driven etc to be available and usable for MT regardless of any negative effect on me. I have developed a higher desire to provide good service and to be a pleasing utility for her. Fuck, I really am starting to sound like a fucking slave. ;)