Work was fine today, nice bright sunny day and nice well behaved customers, excellent. Today is the little ones birthday, so it is tea party time soon, the healthy eating may have to take a break tonight.
It has been quite a while since any significant physical use by MT due to her being unwell. When it gets to this sort of duration I often start to get a bit stressy and in some ways start to feel a little less slavey. Not feeling well and being stressed by other things has exacerbated the situation.
I have been feeling quite snappy and in one of my ' I need some chill out time ' spells. As MT is not feeling great either this is not going down too well, apparently I have been close to losing my sport watching on TV privileges. This would be quite disastrous as the motorcycle racing season has just got underway and of course there is lots of football as well.
I know MT finds these spells difficult, but so do I, I hate feeling like this. I feel like it has been ages since we have had a really good night out or done anything exciting. I haven't ridden Cati much and it feels a little bit like 'all work no play'. Which is not really inaccurate, but of course it has been unavoidable.
Living in an O/p relationship is often different to the fantasy that I am sure many people think we have. We know that 'real life' includes the same things as everyone else endures and 'real life' impacts upon O/p just like anything else does.
I suppose I have found it harder dealing with these interruptions than I did before being owned. I suppose there was an expectation that it would always be different from my previous life, that somehow the 'normal' stuff would somehow disappear/no longer be as important.When I think about it, in the early days before I grew accustomed to being owned, the mundane side of life and the interruptions to activity were taken more in my stride as it was all so very new and I had a huge amount of adjustments to make.
Now that I am more used to my status, the 'normality' of being owned has become so natural that it feels just like everything else does. I do not know if that makes sense, I suppose what I am trying to say is, it no longer feels new or unconventional. It is everyday life, it is my normal, it no longer feels like something different.
In a way, I suppose I miss the excitement of the newness I used to feel, but enjoy the life I now have and feel settled in my slavery.
Hi N,
ReplyDeleteI heartily agree with your assessment regarding the sense that the newness wearing off affects your appreciation of your O/p status. I think that's the way it is with kink in general. It's both a strength and a weakness. On the plus side, there's always something new to try and there's always that feeling that yesterday's big deal isn't so big anymore. Em and I have been working on that ourselves.
Best,
scott
Mrs. Kelly's Playhouse