Lioness with side order of kitten.

I have lost count of how many times I have said that O/p is a very difficult relationship dynamic. I find it exceptionally hard and although in some ways as time passes it becomes easier, in others it becomes more difficult.

As many of you know, MT's health is not very good and this obviously affects our relationship. When she is well she is this uber dominant uber sadistic dynamic hell bitch. During this phase, yours truly has to duck and dive around to survive as best as I can. It is often a painful, humiliating and intensely controlled time for me. This pushes me into ultra slave state. Any resistance is instantly quelled and I quickly slip into my extra slavey state and stay there for some considerable time . This is the state I am most used to and most comfortable with. Although it can be difficult, it is where I belong, it keeps me calm and makes me feel safe and also gives me that buzz that I am sure that most slave types feel.

There is the other side, however, to MT, the unwell side. During the bad health periods she becomes very 'kitteny' her words not mine. Hell bitch turns into quite placid, cuddly, softer woman who loves to be hugged, kissed, cuddled, caressed and fussed over. When this happens, I am more in 'her man' role, although the fact I am her slave is always evident and active. This is a time when I have mixed feelings sometimes. Being 'her man' is great ( I always feel like her man even when I am totally whipped, I just happen to be her slave as well). Being able to be proactive and have my 'girl' in my arms is wonderful. There are times though when I am so submissive it is hard to get out of this state and into ' I'm your man' but I usually manage it :)

The real difficulty becomes when MT starts to feel better. I usually have just become adjusted to 'her man' when she slaps me back down to uber slave. The transition can be so quick I often do not know if I am coming or going, literally.

One minute she can be curled up in my arms having her hair stroked and the next she is saying ' get your arse up bitch'.

It makes for a very interesting time. I always know I am her slave, it is just a different way of serving her.Caring for her and looking after her whilst she is in pain is all part of my service to her. This is something that has evolved initially due to her illness but also as time has passed and she has become more certain of my slavery.

Sometimes it can just be a bit confusing, knowing when and how to transition and how far to go. I never have to fear though, cos MT always lets me know exactly what is and is not OK.