Sharing who you are

My half brother came out to the family today, well all of the family apart from his Mother. I think all of us knew he was gay ages ago. I knew when he was only about 15 years old, I just knew somehow.

I feel sad that he does not feel he can tell his Mother although I honestly think she must be in total denial of reality. As I have no time for my step Mother I would positively relish in her personal misery over her precious son being gay. It would cause her so much trauma and shame it would be delightful to be able to add to it with some well chosen remarks. But of course, that would be horrible for my brother, so is an absolute no go. Oh for that alternative universe.


It is obviously no coincidence that he has decided to do this after my Fathers death and I am not surprised. My Father was a very bigotted person, he hated gays, I often wondered if he was fighting his inner self. Oh how I would have loved to have seen my Fathers face if he had found out his last offspring was gay.........it would have been priceless and I would have enjoyed his shame so much, my Fathers shame that is.I would , however, have feared for my brother as no doubt he would have been disowned him.

My half brother is 32 years old, he has waited since he knew for sure he was gay for 16 years.We have sent him supportive messages and reassured him that it makes no difference, also that I had known for years. He has met someone and appears to be in love, so I am very happy for him.

I love my brothers but due to the distance between us and our individual commitments and lifestyles we seldom see each other. We maintain adhoc contact via the web and the occasional phone call.
 As our lives so seldom cross I have never felt the need or indeed particular desire to tell them about my lifestyle. I actually would not really have a problem about telling them.

It is not so much that I am a particularly private person, it is more about ' it is not relevant' to tell people about it. I see it no different to not telling people what I ate for dinner yesterday or how many bowel movements I have in a day.

In a strange way, just to make my brother feel he is not the only one different from our clan I sort of feel I could tell him, just to make him feel not so isolated. But I have decided it is not relevant or necessary at present. If he comes and stays with us for a visit I would not hide my slavery. I do not mind being considerate of other people by not making them feel uncomfortable if they visit briefly. To be honest, the way we function, there is no need for us making any huge adjustments even when people are here. We have a very relaxed lifestyle without evident high protocols.