Bad slave behaviour

I find being property so difficult sometimes. It seems most of my issues occur when I am either tired, not feeling well or a combination of the two.

Most of the time things are fine, but occasionally it's not. When it goes awry It usually happens very quickly and often without warning. One minute all is calm and then something happens or something is said that causes me to fly off the handle.............and then everything goes kaput.

I hate it when this happens but it does seem to be a cycle that is proving impossible to break. At the moment MT is a bit miffed with me, but it's a relatively minor miffed, I think. Recognising I am in the shit is quite easy, it is trying to not get any deeper that is the problem and then the really hard bit, getting out of it and getting back to normal.

MT has a slow fuse, it used to be slower than it is now, but apparently I have used up most of her patience, so her fuse has got shorter. A miffed MT is not a good thing and I genuinely hate her being unhappy, I also hate myself being unhappy. Once miffed, it can take ages for MT to go back to normal with me, it can seem to take forever.

With me it is different, I have always had a very short fuse, but it has got longer since being with MT, but it is still a 'short' fuse by anyone else's definition. Once 'blow up' has occurred I usually calm fairly quickly and then want to be normal as soon as possible.

This then creates further 'issues', because I want to sort of get back to normal and put it out of the way I get frustrated that Mt is still fuming/annoyed/hurt and is unable to go back to normal in the sort of time frame that I would like. I then get frustrated, which leads to annoyed and then can blow again.

I guess I am part way there by recognising the problems but the cure is the bit that is proving difficult. A fit and well me that is fully rested is relatively easier to live with and my tolerances are much higher then.

I am hoping that my new work schedule which I am introducing on 1 st November will ease the tiredness aspect. Plus, I perhaps need to succumb to MT's continual bombardment of trying to get me to the Doctors to have a check up, just to make sure there is no underlying problem causing my tiredness and irritability.

Meanwhile, I am trying to get back into MT's good books, Hmmm ........not easy. But, I shall start now by going to the bedroom where she is having a rest and give her some hugs. I would offer some sexual service but I think she is not in the mood for that right now. Hugs would be safer, plus I shall try and not talk , that would also be safer.