The following questions were raised by MT on FL and I thought I would post my replies on here and elaborate on them a little.
Q. Do you find the 'future not being your responsibility' liberating or difficult?
Ans.Both actually. On one hand not being responsible for my own destiny is exceptionally liberating, especially as I have been taken down roads that I never would have chosen to venture down left to my own devices.
On the other hand, it is very difficult, as from a very young age my whole life became my own responsibility and old habits die hard.
Q. Has this changed as time has gone on?
Ans. It has become a little easier. With time passing and experience gained of my Owner I am not so nervous about the future. While I trusted her from the outset, it was based on a less tested assessment than it is now, I now have substantial evidence that supports it.
Q. Was it part of the appeal of slavery for you?
Ans. Yes in some ways it was. In my 50 years pre-MT I had experienced quite a lot, and some of it would have been better not experienced. So having not made a huge success of my life in some areas, the opportunity for someone else to fashion it had some appeal. It was also quite exciting and I do like to live dangerously.
It was also probably the only way we would have had a chance of our relationship as well, MT on a lead was kinda unlikely.
Q.How much input do you get into the creation of your future?
Ans. I get loads of input, some asked for, some not. What I do not get is the final say. I give my opinion and/or my preferences or requests etc but at the end of the day MT makes the decisions.
Q.If you have any input do you see this as very different to having responsibility for it, or do you consider this semantics?
Ans.MT often makes me responsible for some things and when she does it is my responsibility to act on it according to her directions and achieve what she wants. It is my responsibility to achieve the desired result, I am always aware of the price of failure ;)
Q.Have you embraced the mind-set Schrodinger’s Cat speaks of in the quote, or is it (still?) alien to you?
Ans.Logically and fundamentally I have accepted it, it just becomes hard to live with some times on a practical level. Like most things, us humans seldom fight against anything we actually want.
Q.Any other thoughts?
Ans.Since being property I have undergone many transitions and I am sure I will continue to evolve as time passes. Personally, I often find O/p a little bit like 'two paces forward and one pace backwards' – and sometimes it is perhaps a bit more like 'no paces forward and rapid reverse'. I seem to make some progress, have a little relapse and then continue forward to my next fuck up, erm, I mean step backwards.
For me this is 'normal', yes I would love to be able to say it is always easy to have my future taken out of my hands , but the reality is that it easy sometimes, but sometimes it isn't.
One thing that came to mind after I had posted the above replies was basically 'if I had not done this, what would I be doing now and what would my future have been ' .
Things such as would I have continued on my previous dominant lifestyle ? would I have turned vanilla ? would I have ever become property to anyone else ?
I expect I would have remained dominant (I still am to everyone apart from MT), vanilla, definately not, I am far too kinky for that. Someone elses property, no I really do not think so. MT was a 'one off' I am pretty certain about that.
Had I not met MT and had her controlling me I would have probably added a few more relationships to my already long list,. Would have probably added hugely to my credit cards, squandered money on substances and alcohol and been grossly overweight and in line with past history would have probably been very unhappy. But on the other side of the coin I would have still had a virgin arse and not sucked cock and swallowed cum or had my arse fucked by a man or had various scars.
Interesting how life turns out isn't it ?
Q. Do you find the 'future not being your responsibility' liberating or difficult?
Ans.Both actually. On one hand not being responsible for my own destiny is exceptionally liberating, especially as I have been taken down roads that I never would have chosen to venture down left to my own devices.
On the other hand, it is very difficult, as from a very young age my whole life became my own responsibility and old habits die hard.
Q. Has this changed as time has gone on?
Ans. It has become a little easier. With time passing and experience gained of my Owner I am not so nervous about the future. While I trusted her from the outset, it was based on a less tested assessment than it is now, I now have substantial evidence that supports it.
Q. Was it part of the appeal of slavery for you?
Ans. Yes in some ways it was. In my 50 years pre-MT I had experienced quite a lot, and some of it would have been better not experienced. So having not made a huge success of my life in some areas, the opportunity for someone else to fashion it had some appeal. It was also quite exciting and I do like to live dangerously.
It was also probably the only way we would have had a chance of our relationship as well, MT on a lead was kinda unlikely.
Q.How much input do you get into the creation of your future?
Ans. I get loads of input, some asked for, some not. What I do not get is the final say. I give my opinion and/or my preferences or requests etc but at the end of the day MT makes the decisions.
Q.If you have any input do you see this as very different to having responsibility for it, or do you consider this semantics?
Ans.MT often makes me responsible for some things and when she does it is my responsibility to act on it according to her directions and achieve what she wants. It is my responsibility to achieve the desired result, I am always aware of the price of failure ;)
Q.Have you embraced the mind-set Schrodinger’s Cat speaks of in the quote, or is it (still?) alien to you?
Ans.Logically and fundamentally I have accepted it, it just becomes hard to live with some times on a practical level. Like most things, us humans seldom fight against anything we actually want.
Q.Any other thoughts?
Ans.Since being property I have undergone many transitions and I am sure I will continue to evolve as time passes. Personally, I often find O/p a little bit like 'two paces forward and one pace backwards' – and sometimes it is perhaps a bit more like 'no paces forward and rapid reverse'. I seem to make some progress, have a little relapse and then continue forward to my next fuck up, erm, I mean step backwards.
For me this is 'normal', yes I would love to be able to say it is always easy to have my future taken out of my hands , but the reality is that it easy sometimes, but sometimes it isn't.
One thing that came to mind after I had posted the above replies was basically 'if I had not done this, what would I be doing now and what would my future have been ' .
Things such as would I have continued on my previous dominant lifestyle ? would I have turned vanilla ? would I have ever become property to anyone else ?
I expect I would have remained dominant (I still am to everyone apart from MT), vanilla, definately not, I am far too kinky for that. Someone elses property, no I really do not think so. MT was a 'one off' I am pretty certain about that.
Had I not met MT and had her controlling me I would have probably added a few more relationships to my already long list,. Would have probably added hugely to my credit cards, squandered money on substances and alcohol and been grossly overweight and in line with past history would have probably been very unhappy. But on the other side of the coin I would have still had a virgin arse and not sucked cock and swallowed cum or had my arse fucked by a man or had various scars.
Interesting how life turns out isn't it ?
"But on the other side of the coin I would have still had a virgin arse and not sucked cock and swallowed cum or had my arse fucked by a man or had various scars."
ReplyDeletethis made me laugh. Yes, funny how life turns out. And you're better off without the weight. :)
Besides now you know you aren't fond of that stuff... before you could only assume :D
ReplyDelete@Spring perhaps it was doing those things that helped me lose weight, put me off of sausages for ages :)
ReplyDelete@ Mp very true piece, but some things do not need personal experience. I already know I do not want to be disembowelled.....even though it hasn't happened to me before ....I mean yet. ;)