Sometimes when MT is using me I sort of get flashbacks to those distant days when I was a sadistic dominant male making the most of feminine flesh..
This particularly occurs when she is using me with her strap on. She will make a comment such as ' be a good boy and put your bottom up for me'. I obey (of course) and in the same instance I remember back to when I used to say' be a good girl and put it up for me'. It is like two worlds colliding, neither seem real at that precise moment, yet I know that both are.
Also flashing through my head sometimes at the same time, is 'how the fuck did I get here ?'.
A question pondered so many times I have all but given up even trying to think about it anymore.
The real danger time is when MT does not use me much or exerts less direct control over me, it does not take long for the old dominant me to poke it's head around the corner and sometimes even enter the room.
The most difficult time is if she lets me have a dominant lead in the bedroom, given an inch I will have taken a mile before I have even realised it. Of course I quickly get put back in line but it is a little like dropping a rock over the side of a cliff..............very hard to stop it once you have let go.
Of the two realms, I very much prefer the one where I am now. The past was fun, but this is more rewarding and of greater depth for me.
Nice post. I sort of know where you're coming from this with....I too have attempted a switch on the odd occasion in the past.
ReplyDeleteAlthough my OH has not had any trouble with the flip in roles I have always been out of my comfort zone, out of my depth and just pretty useless at it! lol
Occasions like that humble me and make me appreciate that I am submissive, wholeheartedly, and innately.
DY x
@DY My trouble is I am right in my comfort zone by being dominant:) it is getting back into being a good slave that's the problem.All the best N
ReplyDeleteIt takes me a while to get back into the submissive head-space with M after I've topped someone else. He knows this and gives me the space I need, thank god.
ReplyDelete"It is like two worlds colliding, neither seem real at that precise moment, yet I know that both are." -- that's delicious. very, very delicious.
ReplyDelete