Wishing you all a very happy, healthy and prosperous New Year.
As always, apparently I have some new year resolutions, but I will not find out what they are until tomorrow when MT tells me. I wonder if I will get a new book? It's a very exciting prospect. I love my new books.... apparently.
Saturday, 31 December 2011
Thursday, 29 December 2011
Post Xmas
Have not been too well, hence the lack of posting. Starting to feel better, have had to stop one of my meds as I think it was responsible for the massive stomach problems I have been experiencing.
MT is feeling a bit better, she even caused me a lot of physical pain yesterday.......that was nice...NOT.
I was allowed a quick bike ride yesterday which was excellent, but it had to be a short ride as I am still under par. No more work until Tuesday , so I am looking forward to the break and a good rest. I hope to do nothing more than the usual things, serving MT and giving her sexual pleasure of course.
We have MT's best friend staying with us for a few days so that is nice.
I am looking forward (sort of) to getting back to full physical use and some humiliation, I feel I need to get back to where I belong as quickly as possible.
MT is feeling a bit better, she even caused me a lot of physical pain yesterday.......that was nice...NOT.
I was allowed a quick bike ride yesterday which was excellent, but it had to be a short ride as I am still under par. No more work until Tuesday , so I am looking forward to the break and a good rest. I hope to do nothing more than the usual things, serving MT and giving her sexual pleasure of course.
We have MT's best friend staying with us for a few days so that is nice.
I am looking forward (sort of) to getting back to full physical use and some humiliation, I feel I need to get back to where I belong as quickly as possible.
Sunday, 25 December 2011
Merry Xmas
Merry Christmas everyone.
Hope you are all having a wonderful time. MT brought me some excellent motorbike gloves I have wanted for ages, and lots of other wonderful gifts. Included in the wonderful gifts was a leather wallet with the words 'Tight Arse' embossed upon it ............I think it is meant to be 'ironic'. MT also bought me several books, some CDs, stationary, lots of chocolate, specific toiletries I like and various other goodies.
We also had a lovely dinner and are planning to spend the rest of the day relaxing :)
MT seemed very pleased with the presents I got her, so along with my help in the kitchen and with various other things I think she considers that I've been a good slave today :)
Hope you are all having a wonderful time. MT brought me some excellent motorbike gloves I have wanted for ages, and lots of other wonderful gifts. Included in the wonderful gifts was a leather wallet with the words 'Tight Arse' embossed upon it ............I think it is meant to be 'ironic'. MT also bought me several books, some CDs, stationary, lots of chocolate, specific toiletries I like and various other goodies.
We also had a lovely dinner and are planning to spend the rest of the day relaxing :)
MT seemed very pleased with the presents I got her, so along with my help in the kitchen and with various other things I think she considers that I've been a good slave today :)
Saturday, 24 December 2011
Christmas Eve
The last couple of days have been a bit hectic. Work, Xmas preparations, MT not being well, me being unwell has made for an 'interesting' time.
My mood has been a bit down again, I think it's the increase indose, double the dose was bound to have some side effects. Hopefully it will improve as I get more accustomed to them, the first couple of weeks when I started them was difficult to say the least.
At least I was allowed to pleasure MT this morning which was really nice. I have yet to wrap MT's presents, so that has to be done today, I hope she likes what I have got her.
The Xmas decorations at home are looking really nice, MT knows how to make the house look shiny. We celebrated Yule and MT cooked a really nice meal and there was cake and I was given a huge bar of chocolate and allowed to eat it.
I wish evryone a very happy Xmas and New Year, may all your dreams come true.
Best wishes N
My mood has been a bit down again, I think it's the increase indose, double the dose was bound to have some side effects. Hopefully it will improve as I get more accustomed to them, the first couple of weeks when I started them was difficult to say the least.
At least I was allowed to pleasure MT this morning which was really nice. I have yet to wrap MT's presents, so that has to be done today, I hope she likes what I have got her.
The Xmas decorations at home are looking really nice, MT knows how to make the house look shiny. We celebrated Yule and MT cooked a really nice meal and there was cake and I was given a huge bar of chocolate and allowed to eat it.
I wish evryone a very happy Xmas and New Year, may all your dreams come true.
Best wishes N
Tuesday, 20 December 2011
The First Cut May Not be The deepest
Yesterdays embarrassing photo has received mega views on FL. I have to give MT her due, she does know how to humiliate people. Nicknames such as peacock boy and pixie peacock have been floated around.
It is always interesting to note that it is mainly the female slaves that enjoy my humiliation the most. I think there is a heavy portion of sadistic tendencies in some of them.You know who you are.
MT is not very well and has had to get steroids, despite her feeling really crap she did manage to re-carve my anniversary mark and drink a little blood. It seemed to perk her up a bit. I meanwhile, found it excruciatingly painful..........it had just sort of started to heal.
After the cutting and the drinking she then cleaned my cuts with something that stung like acid, I still do not know what she used but it hurt like hell.So much so that I actually screamed.
It is always interesting to note that it is mainly the female slaves that enjoy my humiliation the most. I think there is a heavy portion of sadistic tendencies in some of them.You know who you are.
MT is not very well and has had to get steroids, despite her feeling really crap she did manage to re-carve my anniversary mark and drink a little blood. It seemed to perk her up a bit. I meanwhile, found it excruciatingly painful..........it had just sort of started to heal.
After the cutting and the drinking she then cleaned my cuts with something that stung like acid, I still do not know what she used but it hurt like hell.So much so that I actually screamed.
Monday, 19 December 2011
Peacock boy
Many of you will be aware from FL, that yesterday was, shall we say..........more than a little embarrassing. In between other thing MT quickly ordered me into the bedroom, told me to strip and get on my knees.
The Njoy was then inserted and then I could feel her fiddling with the handle. After a couple of minutes I heard the sound of the camera and was ordered to raise/ lower my arse for the photos.
Not long afterwards, MT told me to look at her latest photo on FL..........and of course it was my arse. Attached to the handle of the Njoy was a camp sparkly peacock feather Xmas decoration (which I had mocked) from the Xmas tree.
Within a short while, my FL fed was smothered with comments regarding the sparkly peacock feather design dangling from between my cheeks.
I shall never mock MT again about her choice of Xmas decorations. They are all very stylish and she does a wonderful job of decorating her home.
The Njoy was then inserted and then I could feel her fiddling with the handle. After a couple of minutes I heard the sound of the camera and was ordered to raise/ lower my arse for the photos.
Not long afterwards, MT told me to look at her latest photo on FL..........and of course it was my arse. Attached to the handle of the Njoy was a camp sparkly peacock feather Xmas decoration (which I had mocked) from the Xmas tree.
 |
| He left the photo off so I thoughtfully popped it up. No need to thank me - MT |
Within a short while, my FL fed was smothered with comments regarding the sparkly peacock feather design dangling from between my cheeks.
I shall never mock MT again about her choice of Xmas decorations. They are all very stylish and she does a wonderful job of decorating her home.
Thursday, 15 December 2011
Anniversary
The day finally arrived after much anticipation and trepidation. As usual, it was lovely to wake up next to MT but of course it was extra special today being as it was our 5th anniversary of her owning me.
Early this morning I was told to sit up in bed, I was anticipating some painful act, but instead was given a bow wrapped gift from MT. Inside the very nice box was a really lovely stainless steel bracelet. MT said that I am to wear it in place of my collar, when I am unable to wear my collar. It was a really nice surprise and I really like it a lot, it is something I would have chosen myself. And it's nice to have something to wear as a substitue collar as I would like to wear mine more often.
I then gave MT the bespoke anniversary card I had designed via Moonpig, it was of course of 'appropriate design' for the occasion ;) As is customary on our anniversary, I then presented her with my gift to her. The 'customary' part being, that I give her something she can inflict pain on me with.
This year, I chose something which she had previously expressed an interest in, a short synthetic cane. So I presented her with a short (60cm) 6 mm thick synthetic cane with a lambskin handle. I deliberately chose the thinner diameter as we have quite a few thicker canes and the thinner ones provide a greater sting, require less effort to wield and break my skin easier. Just the things she likes. I also gave her a voucher for money toward her planned driving lessons. This is kind of 'silly' as she could use the money anyway, but she keeps different budgets so it's effectively put some extra funds into that account (and under the present status of the funds I'm allowed to do that). Her driving plans are her main agenda at present that I know of. Though I'm quite sure that as usual she's up to a lot more of which I have no idea.....
After my doctor's appointment ( very useful, more medication including proper painkillers) it was time to start our day together at home. I was permitted the luxury of an iced Belgian bun filled with fresh cream, OMG it was the best one I have ever tasted. MT told me afterwards that it was 'before-care'. I cooked MT her poached eggs and made her Earl Grey tea as usual. Then it was off to the bedroom.
After a thorough inspection of her property and associated verbal report, which was favourable, but not without some directions for the future, it was time to be test her new toy.
After some very thorough 'testing' that went on for an extremely long time and covered a great deal of my body, and after much pillow biting, screaming and shouting, not to mention pleading, the synthetic cane was finally put to one side. The next item on Her agenda was 'marking' of the 5 years on my right hip.
The pain was almost unbelievable (she can do it less painfully but frequently elects not to), the overwriting was incredibly painful and at one point I would have given anything to have had it stopped.....but of course that is not an option. The mark is to become permanent, so this is sort of the initial cut. It will be re-opened as many times as required to form a permanent scar. MT of course enjoyed sucking at my blood, vigorously. After she had finished she cuddled me and we both fell asleep.
Being property is by far the hardest thing I have ever done, but it also happens to be the best thing I have ever done. At times I find it so difficult, but the rewards are sublime and I would not swap it for anything.
I love MT and I really love our relationship. It has it's ups and downs, but then life is like that, and there are always far more ups than downs. I am very fortunate to have found my place in life. I am Hers.
Early this morning I was told to sit up in bed, I was anticipating some painful act, but instead was given a bow wrapped gift from MT. Inside the very nice box was a really lovely stainless steel bracelet. MT said that I am to wear it in place of my collar, when I am unable to wear my collar. It was a really nice surprise and I really like it a lot, it is something I would have chosen myself. And it's nice to have something to wear as a substitue collar as I would like to wear mine more often.
I then gave MT the bespoke anniversary card I had designed via Moonpig, it was of course of 'appropriate design' for the occasion ;) As is customary on our anniversary, I then presented her with my gift to her. The 'customary' part being, that I give her something she can inflict pain on me with.
This year, I chose something which she had previously expressed an interest in, a short synthetic cane. So I presented her with a short (60cm) 6 mm thick synthetic cane with a lambskin handle. I deliberately chose the thinner diameter as we have quite a few thicker canes and the thinner ones provide a greater sting, require less effort to wield and break my skin easier. Just the things she likes. I also gave her a voucher for money toward her planned driving lessons. This is kind of 'silly' as she could use the money anyway, but she keeps different budgets so it's effectively put some extra funds into that account (and under the present status of the funds I'm allowed to do that). Her driving plans are her main agenda at present that I know of. Though I'm quite sure that as usual she's up to a lot more of which I have no idea.....
After my doctor's appointment ( very useful, more medication including proper painkillers) it was time to start our day together at home. I was permitted the luxury of an iced Belgian bun filled with fresh cream, OMG it was the best one I have ever tasted. MT told me afterwards that it was 'before-care'. I cooked MT her poached eggs and made her Earl Grey tea as usual. Then it was off to the bedroom.
After a thorough inspection of her property and associated verbal report, which was favourable, but not without some directions for the future, it was time to be test her new toy.
After some very thorough 'testing' that went on for an extremely long time and covered a great deal of my body, and after much pillow biting, screaming and shouting, not to mention pleading, the synthetic cane was finally put to one side. The next item on Her agenda was 'marking' of the 5 years on my right hip.
The pain was almost unbelievable (she can do it less painfully but frequently elects not to), the overwriting was incredibly painful and at one point I would have given anything to have had it stopped.....but of course that is not an option. The mark is to become permanent, so this is sort of the initial cut. It will be re-opened as many times as required to form a permanent scar. MT of course enjoyed sucking at my blood, vigorously. After she had finished she cuddled me and we both fell asleep.
It has been a wonderful day and it is not even 6-00 pm yet,so there is plenty of time left to enjoy the rest of the evening. I'm also very aware that MT has not finished with tormenting my body for the day, and she's usually much more intense at night time....
Being property is by far the hardest thing I have ever done, but it also happens to be the best thing I have ever done. At times I find it so difficult, but the rewards are sublime and I would not swap it for anything.
Wednesday, 14 December 2011
Waiting
Tomorrow is now very close and my nerves are growing. First the doctors then MT. Hmmmm wonder which will hurt the most ?
Had a very hard day at work, cold and too many hours. Tomorrow will no doubt not be very relaxing, although I suppose I will at least spend some of the time on the bed, just not sleeping on it.
Tonight I am making the most of sitting down comfortably..........may be the last time for several days.
Had a very hard day at work, cold and too many hours. Tomorrow will no doubt not be very relaxing, although I suppose I will at least spend some of the time on the bed, just not sleeping on it.
Tonight I am making the most of sitting down comfortably..........may be the last time for several days.
Tuesday, 13 December 2011
Impending Anniversary
Traditionally our anniversary, the day MT collared me and officially made me her property, is a painful day. Of course it is also a wonderful celebration of our relationship. There is the bit though where MT reminds me that I am ' Hers To Do With As She Will'.
As most of you are aware, MT is a bit of a sadist and our anniversary is often a time for MT to revel in her 'art'. After MT collared me I was chained to a round table and given the soundest of beatings. I was left in no uncertainty about my status and after the beating I was mercilessly shafted by her and cut. I remember it as if it were only yesterday, mostly as I was bruised for over a month. She took me out to BDSM club the next night and people foolishly thought you couldn't possibly beat anyone on top of such bruising and cuts. Yeah, right.
So, whilst I am happy it is our 5th anniversary on Thursday, I am also trying to mentally prepare myself for the anticipated 'celebrations'. MT has taunted me a little with what may lie ahead. Surprise, surprise there is likely to be long and hard beatings of my body with a range of implements being used. Then when I am red and very sore and probably sniffling, I will be re-introduced to my least favourite item, the big black strap on.
The big black strap on is one of the hardest thing I have to endure and always breaks me down. I dread it and hate it. There is nothing that breaks me like this does. It feels like I am being split into two, I always tear and the pain lasts sometimes for weeks. I am allowed the privilege of lube though, but there is not enough lube in the world to make it bearable. It is huge and very hard.
Usually, after the sound beating and the fucking I am left feeling totally exhausted and totally used.
This 'reminder' has become a tradition, it is also a celebration of our relationship. In the evening we will celebrate in a more gentle fashion and hopefully, when we go to bed I will not be used again.
As most of you are aware, MT is a bit of a sadist and our anniversary is often a time for MT to revel in her 'art'. After MT collared me I was chained to a round table and given the soundest of beatings. I was left in no uncertainty about my status and after the beating I was mercilessly shafted by her and cut. I remember it as if it were only yesterday, mostly as I was bruised for over a month. She took me out to BDSM club the next night and people foolishly thought you couldn't possibly beat anyone on top of such bruising and cuts. Yeah, right.
So, whilst I am happy it is our 5th anniversary on Thursday, I am also trying to mentally prepare myself for the anticipated 'celebrations'. MT has taunted me a little with what may lie ahead. Surprise, surprise there is likely to be long and hard beatings of my body with a range of implements being used. Then when I am red and very sore and probably sniffling, I will be re-introduced to my least favourite item, the big black strap on.
The big black strap on is one of the hardest thing I have to endure and always breaks me down. I dread it and hate it. There is nothing that breaks me like this does. It feels like I am being split into two, I always tear and the pain lasts sometimes for weeks. I am allowed the privilege of lube though, but there is not enough lube in the world to make it bearable. It is huge and very hard.
Usually, after the sound beating and the fucking I am left feeling totally exhausted and totally used.
This 'reminder' has become a tradition, it is also a celebration of our relationship. In the evening we will celebrate in a more gentle fashion and hopefully, when we go to bed I will not be used again.
Monday, 12 December 2011
Gentle day
MT's health has taken a bit of a decline over the last few days. I am hoping she is not heading towards one of her bad periods. I meanwhile, am feeling not too bad, although I have felt a little more stressed over the last couple of days. I am not sure way, perhaps i have got too acclimatised to the anti anxiety pills. Anyhow, I will be seeing the doctor on Thursday for a review, maybe he will tweak my medication a bit.
I pleasured MT today, as usual ;) did some shopping and quite a few little chores around the house, it was a sort of gentle busy day. Back to work tomorrow, hopefully, the weather forecast is not good, but really could do with the money as Xmas is approaching so quickly.
Our 5 th anniversary draws ever closer and with each day I grow a little bit more nervous. Knowing pretty much what I am going to receive and the pain it will bring is such a powerful thing. It is very much one of those double edged sword moments.
I pleasured MT today, as usual ;) did some shopping and quite a few little chores around the house, it was a sort of gentle busy day. Back to work tomorrow, hopefully, the weather forecast is not good, but really could do with the money as Xmas is approaching so quickly.
Our 5 th anniversary draws ever closer and with each day I grow a little bit more nervous. Knowing pretty much what I am going to receive and the pain it will bring is such a powerful thing. It is very much one of those double edged sword moments.
Sunday, 11 December 2011
Sex, Xmas and Decorations
Last night I was permitted to pleasure MT in bed, I still get amazed at how much I really enjoy this, especially as I have been doing if for over 5 years now. I find it sexy and submissive. I was not permitted an orgasm, but I did not mind, it was just really hot making her come over and over again.
Today has been a gentle one, a walk in the forest, a little bit of tidying our garden and the rest sitting around. I was allowed to watch some TT race footage which was nice. There was also the dreaded trip up into our loft to get the Xmas decorations down.
MT is currently in the process of decorating the tree. She makes and excellent job of it as well, the tree always looks amazing. It is the same tree we have had for 4 years, that MT bought when we moved in together. Getting it in and out of the house is tricky. I have never had an xmas tree wth roots before but MT is quite insistent that this is essential. It is not very high but quite wide at the base and when I pick it up I get spiked.
Somehow pain seems to follow me around. It makes a change for the pain not to have been caused by MT.
Today has been a gentle one, a walk in the forest, a little bit of tidying our garden and the rest sitting around. I was allowed to watch some TT race footage which was nice. There was also the dreaded trip up into our loft to get the Xmas decorations down.
MT is currently in the process of decorating the tree. She makes and excellent job of it as well, the tree always looks amazing. It is the same tree we have had for 4 years, that MT bought when we moved in together. Getting it in and out of the house is tricky. I have never had an xmas tree wth roots before but MT is quite insistent that this is essential. It is not very high but quite wide at the base and when I pick it up I get spiked.
Somehow pain seems to follow me around. It makes a change for the pain not to have been caused by MT.
MT's 'understated' tree.
Saturday, 10 December 2011
Getting Back
Due to having not been quite my usual self for a while, MT gave me a bit of a break, shall we say 'cut me some slack'. As previously mentioned in a previous post, we both decided that although it was perhaps necessary, it did have a downside. So, as also mentioned, some physical use has been happening again. This has helped me in quite a few ways.
It has given me something to focus on other than my own anxiety and depression. The pain, has helped as a relief valve for pent up tension (it always does, as does dishing it out, when I am allowed ). The physical re-focusing is working, medicine is often unpleasant ;).
I am now trying to start to focus more on the non-physical aspects and getting my head back into gear regarding trying to be a good piece of property and ensuring I try to be the slave MT wants me to be.
The physical stuff I find a little easier, it always seems as though there is no choice, of course there isn't.
But with the psychological stuff, it sometimes 'feels'less compulsory, although of course it is even more important than the physical stuff.
Many people opt for the occasional foray into bdsm, it is quite simple, quite easy really. A person goes to an event, if they mutually find someone to have some action with they do. There is the limit of time, of intensity, of boundaries and a host of other things. If they enjoyed it they can do it again, if not, they never have to. The choice is theirs, as and when, if and when they wish , with whoever they choose to do it with.
In O/p these choices do not exist. The BDSM element is a fraction of the big picture. I still find the hardest things being the requirement to ask for permission for things. The little simple things I have taken for granted as being a 'right'. Having to ask for alcohol, sweets, cake, to go on my bike etc etc, it would be quicker to list the things I can do without having to obtain permission.
Added to this is of course the need to respond to services, tasks for your Owner whenever required to, day or night, 24/7, every week of every year.
It would no doubt sound like hell to many people outside of this type of dynamic. But I would feel lost without it and am so pleased i am getting closer to being back to where I was and just as importantly, to try and become an even better asset to MT.
It has given me something to focus on other than my own anxiety and depression. The pain, has helped as a relief valve for pent up tension (it always does, as does dishing it out, when I am allowed ). The physical re-focusing is working, medicine is often unpleasant ;).
I am now trying to start to focus more on the non-physical aspects and getting my head back into gear regarding trying to be a good piece of property and ensuring I try to be the slave MT wants me to be.
The physical stuff I find a little easier, it always seems as though there is no choice, of course there isn't.
But with the psychological stuff, it sometimes 'feels'less compulsory, although of course it is even more important than the physical stuff.
Many people opt for the occasional foray into bdsm, it is quite simple, quite easy really. A person goes to an event, if they mutually find someone to have some action with they do. There is the limit of time, of intensity, of boundaries and a host of other things. If they enjoyed it they can do it again, if not, they never have to. The choice is theirs, as and when, if and when they wish , with whoever they choose to do it with.
In O/p these choices do not exist. The BDSM element is a fraction of the big picture. I still find the hardest things being the requirement to ask for permission for things. The little simple things I have taken for granted as being a 'right'. Having to ask for alcohol, sweets, cake, to go on my bike etc etc, it would be quicker to list the things I can do without having to obtain permission.
Added to this is of course the need to respond to services, tasks for your Owner whenever required to, day or night, 24/7, every week of every year.
It would no doubt sound like hell to many people outside of this type of dynamic. But I would feel lost without it and am so pleased i am getting closer to being back to where I was and just as importantly, to try and become an even better asset to MT.
Thursday, 8 December 2011
Good day
It is 8-05 pm and I have yet to provide MT with sexual service today...........this is so rare.
We did, however, spend a nice day together, even though it involved getting some Xmas supermarket shopping. The supermarket shop is one of my least favourite activities.
I seem to suffer supermarket rage, especially when I queue up at a checkout for ages, then once I have committed my shopping to the conveyor belt they open another till..........Grrrrrrrrrrrr..... and then people get served who haven't waited at all. And I am still waiting even after the newly opened till has served 5 or 6 customers. See how well the anti anxiety pills are working ? Good job MT was there :)
I am also being allowed to watch the Isle of Man TT documentary on pay per view TV later tonight, that is a big treat.
It is our 5 th anniversary of our O/p relationship next week. I will post some details of previous 'celebrations' in a few days time. Suffice to say, it is often a painful celebration.
We did, however, spend a nice day together, even though it involved getting some Xmas supermarket shopping. The supermarket shop is one of my least favourite activities.
I seem to suffer supermarket rage, especially when I queue up at a checkout for ages, then once I have committed my shopping to the conveyor belt they open another till..........Grrrrrrrrrrrr..... and then people get served who haven't waited at all. And I am still waiting even after the newly opened till has served 5 or 6 customers. See how well the anti anxiety pills are working ? Good job MT was there :)
I am also being allowed to watch the Isle of Man TT documentary on pay per view TV later tonight, that is a big treat.
It is our 5 th anniversary of our O/p relationship next week. I will post some details of previous 'celebrations' in a few days time. Suffice to say, it is often a painful celebration.
Wednesday, 7 December 2011
A Good Day
An early finish from work today and I am going to be allowed to watch live football on TV tonight.....the world is looking brighter.
Tonight's slave dinner is self cooked chicken stew, alas there will be no dumplings as the slave has put on a few pounds. Due to my moods, MT has not wanted me to worry about dieting, but I feel well enough to diet. I want to get rid of at least 7 pounds before Xmas, then I can put it back on again over the Xmas period and be the same weight as I am now.
The alternative ie of being another 7 pounds heavier than I am now after Xmas, is just too daunting as I know I will at some stage be ordered to remove the excess chub.So for now it's back onto low carbs, no bread, potatoes, rice or pasta to name just some of my core food items.It has been three days now and almost 3 pounds has been lost, so it is off to a good start.
On the negative side, MT has suddenly rekindled a pastime that I really do not like, cock slapping, next will come the cock caning.......it's just not nice.
Tonight's slave dinner is self cooked chicken stew, alas there will be no dumplings as the slave has put on a few pounds. Due to my moods, MT has not wanted me to worry about dieting, but I feel well enough to diet. I want to get rid of at least 7 pounds before Xmas, then I can put it back on again over the Xmas period and be the same weight as I am now.
The alternative ie of being another 7 pounds heavier than I am now after Xmas, is just too daunting as I know I will at some stage be ordered to remove the excess chub.So for now it's back onto low carbs, no bread, potatoes, rice or pasta to name just some of my core food items.It has been three days now and almost 3 pounds has been lost, so it is off to a good start.
On the negative side, MT has suddenly rekindled a pastime that I really do not like, cock slapping, next will come the cock caning.......it's just not nice.
Tuesday, 6 December 2011
On the road.
OMG today was cold, work was freezing especially as I have to get special permission to wear underwear, it was rather chilly on the willy.
I have been feeling a little brighter over the last few days. MT and I had a long 'chat' which has helped a lot. Since our chat and my improvement MT has been able to be a bit bossier with me which has made me feel a bit more like being 'where I belong'.
MT had eased off a bit, but we both agreed this was a bit counter productive I think the pills have kicked in a bit and the dpressed feeling seems to be lifting a little.
Additionally, I have been undergoing some physical use of the 'pain' variety by MT. Whilst I actively dislike pain, it does seem to have a calming effect on me. This is rather unfortunate I feel, as MT needs no encouragement to cause me pain.Now it will almost be like a prescription.
I have brought nearly all of MT's Xmas presents, I just hace a few odd little bits to get.
I have been feeling a little brighter over the last few days. MT and I had a long 'chat' which has helped a lot. Since our chat and my improvement MT has been able to be a bit bossier with me which has made me feel a bit more like being 'where I belong'.
MT had eased off a bit, but we both agreed this was a bit counter productive I think the pills have kicked in a bit and the dpressed feeling seems to be lifting a little.
Additionally, I have been undergoing some physical use of the 'pain' variety by MT. Whilst I actively dislike pain, it does seem to have a calming effect on me. This is rather unfortunate I feel, as MT needs no encouragement to cause me pain.Now it will almost be like a prescription.
I have brought nearly all of MT's Xmas presents, I just hace a few odd little bits to get.
Monday, 5 December 2011
Love me Tender
The extra day off a week is helping with my tiredness and of course it means there is extra time for MT and I to be together. This in turn leads to more time for MT to amuse herself.
After a nice trip to Bury St Edmunds with a nice long coffe break (it was bloody cold today) it was back to the warmth of home.
After a late lunch I was ordered into the bedroom, told to strip and then made to lay face down on the bed. The 'threatened' gentle but long caning session became a reality. It was gentle compared to MT's usual offerings, but after such a long break it was bloody painful. All the wriggling around and twisting failed to put her off her aim.
Then came the immortal words ' spread your cheeks wide I am going to cane your fuckhole' . If you have been lucky enough to have never experienced this then you will not fully appreciate a) how painful it is and b) how humiliating it is and c) how it is virtually impossible to stop yourself from clenching your buttocks shut when the blow lands.
So, I am sat here, rather uncomfortably, with a sore fuckhole from yesterday's strap-on, sore and bruised cheeks from caning and a bruised anus from caning. I might just stand up for a while after I have published this.
After a nice trip to Bury St Edmunds with a nice long coffe break (it was bloody cold today) it was back to the warmth of home.
After a late lunch I was ordered into the bedroom, told to strip and then made to lay face down on the bed. The 'threatened' gentle but long caning session became a reality. It was gentle compared to MT's usual offerings, but after such a long break it was bloody painful. All the wriggling around and twisting failed to put her off her aim.
Then came the immortal words ' spread your cheeks wide I am going to cane your fuckhole' . If you have been lucky enough to have never experienced this then you will not fully appreciate a) how painful it is and b) how humiliating it is and c) how it is virtually impossible to stop yourself from clenching your buttocks shut when the blow lands.
(Love from MT - it looks disappointingly light here, but t was lovely and red really)
Sunday, 4 December 2011
Progress
With the help of MT (of course) I am making a very conscious effort to try to get myself back to normal. MT has taken me out for a couple of relaxing walks in the forest, where it is very peaceful. We have also spent a bit more time relaxing together, which has been very nice.
We both think my depression has got worse since taking the anti anxiety medication, although my anxiety has improved. I am back to the doctors in 10 days time, so hopefully there may be an adjustment in the medication that might improve the depression aspect. It is positive though that I am not so stressed out......and better for everyone around me ;)
Whilst pleasuring MT this morning she gave me a choice, either go and get the strap on out or go to sleep. Now this presented me with a huge dilemma. On the one hand, I have not been used that way for a while and I know how much MT enjoys it. Because of this I wanted to please her, especially as things have been tense lately due to my anxiety. On the other hand, I knew it was going to be painful and that I would get thoroughly used and thus very sore.
Wishing to be a good slave I had no 'real' choice other than to go and get the strap-on out. Thus I was re-introduced to the joys of a sore bottom, much to MT's delight.
It was good to be back where I belong and I am glad she used me like that, it was also nice of her to give me the option.
We both think my depression has got worse since taking the anti anxiety medication, although my anxiety has improved. I am back to the doctors in 10 days time, so hopefully there may be an adjustment in the medication that might improve the depression aspect. It is positive though that I am not so stressed out......and better for everyone around me ;)
Whilst pleasuring MT this morning she gave me a choice, either go and get the strap on out or go to sleep. Now this presented me with a huge dilemma. On the one hand, I have not been used that way for a while and I know how much MT enjoys it. Because of this I wanted to please her, especially as things have been tense lately due to my anxiety. On the other hand, I knew it was going to be painful and that I would get thoroughly used and thus very sore.
Wishing to be a good slave I had no 'real' choice other than to go and get the strap-on out. Thus I was re-introduced to the joys of a sore bottom, much to MT's delight.
It was good to be back where I belong and I am glad she used me like that, it was also nice of her to give me the option.
Friday, 2 December 2011
I am a toyboy
At the ripe old age of 55 years, life tends to not bring you too many 'new' experiences, but today I had a new one.
Whilst working for an exceptionally lovely couple, he is 95, she is 92, I was being my usual mischievous self. We often have a lot of banter as I work and she definitely wears the trousers in the house. I have had suspicions over my two years of working for them that there is a D/s dynamic at work, which I suspect, at one time was a physical one.
Having just made a cheeky remark, I passed the lady, who was seated in the hallway. As I walked past she gave me a sharp slap across my backside. To say I was shocked was an understatement. I turned around quite quickly and she had a huge smile on her face as did her husband.
She then said ' you're lucky not to get the cane' I replied ' Oh, now you really are teasing me'. She smiled even more and then said ' Ah, at last I have learnt what you like '.
Then we all just carried on as though nothing had happened.
I came home and told MT and she thought it was really funny.
So at 55 years old I had my backside slapped by a 92 year old lady, now that is a first for me.
Whilst working for an exceptionally lovely couple, he is 95, she is 92, I was being my usual mischievous self. We often have a lot of banter as I work and she definitely wears the trousers in the house. I have had suspicions over my two years of working for them that there is a D/s dynamic at work, which I suspect, at one time was a physical one.
Having just made a cheeky remark, I passed the lady, who was seated in the hallway. As I walked past she gave me a sharp slap across my backside. To say I was shocked was an understatement. I turned around quite quickly and she had a huge smile on her face as did her husband.
She then said ' you're lucky not to get the cane' I replied ' Oh, now you really are teasing me'. She smiled even more and then said ' Ah, at last I have learnt what you like '.
Then we all just carried on as though nothing had happened.
I came home and told MT and she thought it was really funny.
So at 55 years old I had my backside slapped by a 92 year old lady, now that is a first for me.
Thursday, 1 December 2011
My Vital statistics
Since starting this blog (Xmas 2010) I have had 45,402 page views.
The biggest readership is USA, followed by UK, Canada,Australia, Germany and Netherlands.
I find it really surprising and nice to have such a diversity of people reading my blog..........have you all got nothing else better ro do ; I know you do because I read the blogs and other posts of quite a few of you. I know what you get up to, you lucky devils :)
I had an excellent nights sleep last night and am feeling marginally brighter today, which is nice. MT and I went for a nice walk in the forest and had a cuppa in the cafe.
Not doing much tonight, but I must confess I will be watching 'Glee' on TV. Yep there is no end to the self degradation that I will go to, this confession (I watch Glee) is compounded by the fact I also admit to watching 'Gossip Girl' and 'Terra Nova'. although I think the latter shows I have alittle bit of masculinity left inside me.
So now I have humiliated myself with my TV confessions I shall go and hang my head in shame and stand in a corner in a darkened room.
MT has insisted it is publicly declared that she is not a fan of Glee or Terra Nova, but does like Gossip Girl.
Thank to all for reading my blog, wherever you are in the world.
The biggest readership is USA, followed by UK, Canada,Australia, Germany and Netherlands.
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I had an excellent nights sleep last night and am feeling marginally brighter today, which is nice. MT and I went for a nice walk in the forest and had a cuppa in the cafe.
Not doing much tonight, but I must confess I will be watching 'Glee' on TV. Yep there is no end to the self degradation that I will go to, this confession (I watch Glee) is compounded by the fact I also admit to watching 'Gossip Girl' and 'Terra Nova'. although I think the latter shows I have alittle bit of masculinity left inside me.
So now I have humiliated myself with my TV confessions I shall go and hang my head in shame and stand in a corner in a darkened room.
MT has insisted it is publicly declared that she is not a fan of Glee or Terra Nova, but does like Gossip Girl.
Thank to all for reading my blog, wherever you are in the world.
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