Naivety starts with an 'N'.

In hindsight, when I asked MT to be her property I did not fully realise the full implications of what it meant to be property. I had, as a dominant 28 years experience in power exchange (PE) relationships, but O/p as the owned party was so different, to say I was naive would be a total understatement.

The biggest difference which comes first to mind, is the aspect of cohabiting and thus having the PE 24 hours a day, seven days a week. There are no breaks, no days off from being a slave, unlike some of my other PE experiences where there were always gaps for some reason or the other.Sometimes, purely on the basis I wanted time and space for myself, to do whatever it was I wanted to do and this had been important to me.

Losing the ability to do as I pleased, whenever I wanted, was such a huge loss, it had a major impact, every day, day in day out, in so many ways. I had also totally underestimated the extent of what my owner would want to control. I never envisaged having to ask if I could have an alcoholic drink, to ask for treats such as a cake etc.

Then there were the limitations, the things I could no longer do at all e.g. go out whenever I wanted, spend money on whatever I wanted etc

Then there were the things I could only do if I gained permission first, I sometimes felt like I was a child again, 'may I please use the toilet?', 'may I please have an orgasm?' etc, I never thought I would have to do these things, somehow it just never occurred to me.

Then of course there was the other big thing being made to do things I really did not want to do or having to do things precisely when MT wanted me to do them.This was also unexpected in terms of the impact it would have on me. Being micromanaged as well as macro managed sometimes felt impossible to deal with.

Probably the biggest taboo was forced sex acts with other males, I never, never thought I would have to do this and truly thought I would never do it, under any circumstances, owned or not. But, when the time came, I did. I hated it and still do, but MT likes it and it also amuses her to see me struggle so much.

Then of course there is the humiliation, being 24/7 it can happen anywhere at any time. I never know when MT will strike, I never imagined it would become part of my life.

I expect, anyone reading this might well be thinking ' Well what the fuck did you think it was going to be like? Just carry on as before doing whatever you pleased' ? The honest answer is, I really had not thought it through anywhere near well enough. The fact I have made numerous women do all the things I have referenced here still didn't make it even occur to me that any of these things might be on the cards for me. I loved being submissive to MT, I loved her, I wanted to be with her, it felt 'right' it felt where I belonged. Not being with her felt wrong, having any limits felt wrong. What she would do with that though never really occurred to me, even when the signs and evidence was all there.

I just wanted to belong to her, in truth, as it transpires, I did not have a clue as to the extent she would own me and if anyone had told me I would end up like I have done I would have laughed in their face and told them not to be so fucking stupid.... shows how much I know.