Not Mummy's boy

I know this may come as a bit of a shock to some, but... I have not always been the well behaved chap that I am today. I am not proud of some of my past, nor do I make excuses for it. There were some things in my life that probably helped to shape the way I was at those times and I am far from being alone on this. There are many people whose experiences will have been far worse than mine and also it is most likely they did not behave in the negative ways I did. I think that is a huge testament to them. Unfortunately I behaved as I did and I would not even try to make excuses, after all, I did have a choice.

Thirteen, that was my 're-birth' age, no more being pushed around, no more taking shit from anyone, from then on it was all about me, and thus it was for many years. Someone once called me a ' Motherfucker ', I replied that despite having received an offer from my Mother to fuck her when I was 13, I had actually declined, and therefore I was most definitely not a 'Mother fucker'. Strangely, they did not seem to know how to react to this, but they did go away quietly.

It was of course true, to say I had been shocked by her offer, well it was a bit more like an order really. I never really felt the same about her after that. I still loved her, she was my Mum, but it did change things. I lost my virginity at 13, quite a few times actually, because I found it it made it easier to get laid if you told them it would be your first time. Ok, so it was a bit misleading, but it was my first time with them.

My Mum used to seek information as to how far I had got with my girlfriends, and I used to tell her. I actually did not realise at the time that this was not 'normal'. Well it is not something you are likely to discuss with your mates is it?

At 13, I remember on one particular day she actually caught me 'in the act' in the kitchen, the poor girl was standing against the back door with her knickers clearly visible around her ankles with me still in situ. Mum said hello to us, made a cup of tea and then left the room. The next day all she said was 'it is not very hygienic doing that in the kitchen, why don't you take her to your bedroom next time', a much better outcome than I had imagined. So from then on my bedroom got a lot of use.

It was many years later, when my Mum was diagnosed with early onset Alzheimer's (she was in her fifties when it was diagnosed) that the Doctors said that there was strong evidence to suggest that my Mother had been suffering from some form of mental illness for a number of years. Quelle surprise....think I might have sussed that out a few years beforehand.

Mum passed away about 12 years ago, I hold no ill feelings whatsoever to her memory, she was an imperfect human being, just like me. She loved me and I loved her, and I think she did as best as she could for me and my brothers and that to me is all someone can ever ask of anyone

To be continued.....sometime.