Easy like Sunday morning...well, easier.

Today has been quite a low key relaxing/ pleasant one, apart from this mornings excess rogering which I received upon MT awakening. The woman really is insatiable. I sometimes wonder if part of the criteria for being an owner is a constant desire for excess in everything. Owners can be so demanding - do this do that, be this be that, it just goes on and on, I mean, what do they think we are, bloody slaves?

I feel a huge sense of relief that Friday nights events were successfully completed and that the 'thing' I had been dreading did not cause me the distress I had been so concerned about. Since then, I have felt even closer to MT and more at ease, in a strange sort of way I feel more of a slave than I did before. Acceptance of my true position I suppose has often felt a little abstract, having to face some of the least desirable realities and deal with them has perhaps reinforced my position. Learning to put aside my own wants, needs, likes, dislikes in favour of trying to focus entirely on pleasing my owner holistically 24/7 has perhaps historically been a barrier to me meeting her expectations.

I now feel I have crossed this barrier and will be able to serve her better in the future. I am of course a realist, no doubt there will be some backward steps, but I shall do my best to make amends if this happens and then leap forward to make up for any loss.

I feel a sense of great amusement that MT is feeling a little physical discomfort from our last few days marathon of antics, ha ha. Unfortunately, my own discomforts are far in excess of hers and will no doubt be kept uncomfortable. I really need all over body protection, perhaps I could seek advice from the SAS.

There is a saying 'sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me' , my version of this is ' sticks and stones may break my bones but MT will really hurt me '.

MT and I really are a strange mix, a sadist owned by a sadist, an older man owned by a younger woman, a left winger owning a right winger, an avid carnivore owned by a vegetarian, the list is almost endless. Fuck knows why and how it works, but it does.