My owner, my bitch.

This is going to sound a little bit strange to some people thus I shall enjoy saying it even more, 'MT likes me to  bite and even occasionally spank her' . Yes it is true, my  darling sadistic uber dominant Owner allows her lucky slave to bite her all over her body and even on rare occasions deliver the odd sound spanking.

Unfortunately this revelation has absolutely nothing to do with MT having switched. It is quite simple really, when she is experiencing a lot of pain due to her rheumatoid arthritis (RA) there are times when she orders me to give her pain. Reluctantly I oblige (ok, so 'reluctantly' was a total load of bollocks). Saying this to an ex Dom with very sadistic tendencies without any limitations or restrictions would be totally stupid, as my owner is not stupid (unfortunately for me on this occasion) there are of course strict rules.

I am told what I can and cannot do and obviously have to stop when told to do so... I hate that fucking bit. It is a bit like showing a starving lion your whole body and then expecting it to just eat a toe and nothing else, it is pure torture, even when being bitten or receiving a spanking MT still is a frigging sadist.

MT's pain is sometimes very severe, so the theory she's trying out goes that if I give her pain the endorphins can help to override the RA pain and also 'bring her back to me' in her words. It makes her feel connected to me and more aware of my presence I think.

I have to admit, whilst I really hate seeing her in pain, the opportunity to spank that oh so cute sexy bottom is a treat amongst treats. Ah the good old days, the memories may be fading but a few good slaps on her arse and it all comes flooding back to me. No matter how long or how owned I feel, the dominant part of me will never die, which is good news, because I do like to give MT good service.

My only problem is restraint. I always throw myself fully into everything I do and this is pure torture. Once I am inflicting pain I get a real surge, the more it hurts the better and I never want to stop. I do however always worry that I might get too carried away because she is in pain from her RA and I would hate to really hurt her (ok, sort of).

It is a really special thing. It is service topping and I never forget, even in the ecstasy of giving pain, that I am her property. It's just her property sinking my teeth into her flesh or on those rare blissful moments giving her a very sound spanking and God, do I love it. She's experimented with using pain to effect a few times now and usually copes much better with extremely harsh pain than spanking etc. Spanking or what she calls 'girly pain' just pisses her off usually, but this time it's worked for her (and me).

The only down side to this is that sometimes, because I am very much a slave who responds to physically and psychologically feel like a slave at all times, I can miss the effects of the physical treatments that MT gives me. When she is unwell, her sadism although still present is far less active as she just can't move very much. Sometimes I know I am close to really needing to be physically kept in line but do not get it, I have to focus so much harder on meeting her needs without me flipping into fuck it all mode, which is very unpleasant, not at all acceptable and totally pisses off MT. I also regret it afterwards, and fortunately it is a much rarer occurrence lately, which is good.

At the moment I am enjoying the current phase of sinking my teeth into MT's body and slapping her bottom and thighs, but - purely because it's not there - I am starting to feel the need for a sound beating, humiliation and total degradation that my Owner normally supplies. MT, perhaps you could get well for a couple of hours then have a long relapse. Worth a try anyway ;)