Karma

Becoming a slave has to say the least, been an uphill struggle and I still struggle, albeit not as much as I used to ( well most of the time anyway). Prior to meeting MT, anyone who knew me would not have thought it unthinkable that I could become a submissive, let alone a slave. My life was one big Me Me Me, if someone else got something out of it as well it was pretty much by accident. A sad confession to make, but generally speaking accurate. I used to sometimes reconcile this with myself by telling myself that as I had a career where I fairly regularly risked my own life to try to save others that it was a kind of right for me to have this selfish stance. MT was never having any of this.

This self indulgence was at its most prominent in the arena of relationships. At a very early stage in life, ie as a child, I realised I could coerce, dominate and control females very easily. I had a massive repertoire of techniques and once on a mission I was relentless in the pursuit of my goals.

Whilst it was all about Me Me Me, when it came to sex I tried hard to ensure I did a good job, not for their benefit but for my own kudos and fun. I was lucky, I did ok in this area. Combining my art with my dominant traits I was able to have lots of fun and literally use women sexually pretty much as I wanted. And, whilst I was with them, they were more than happy to oblige, less so once I had discarded them for the next model. Again, this is another element of my past I am not proud of, but I did have a bloody good time.

Thus one of the hardest aspects of becoming a slave was to give up my sexual dominance. I knew from the outset of meeting this 'slip of a girl' (MT) that there was no way I was going to use her as my plaything. When we met, I tried some usual tactics and found they were totally wasted on her, this intrigued me, it was new and in a strange way I kind of liked it. When we had our first physical experience, I was instantly left in no doubt whatsoever that I was never going to dominate her. To be more accurate, I knew that she was going to treat me like her bitch. I definitely underestimated the extent this would transpire to be. Never in a million years would I have guessed it would be possible for me to make this transition.

I suddenly realised what it was like to be on the receiving end of a very dominant, highly sexed, sadist (oh the karma of it all) but I was like a moth drawn to the flame. I got burnt, but still could not fly away. Even though nearly five years have elapsed since that fateful day I still can't believe I am who and what I am. Those halcyon days seem like someone elses life, not mine, yes there are some memories of past dominant glory, years where I reigned supreme and unchallenged...the rise and fall of Rome seem insignificant in comparison.

When ordered to sexually do this, that and the other and be used totally like a slut and plaything I sometimes feel bewildered that I am where I am doing whatever it is I am doing and that the person doing all these things to me is of the same species as the ones I used as my playthings all those years ago...MT must be a mutant, but she's a very beautiful one. And mean. Very very mean.